Abuse

[madas]

Not sure this is the right page but hey ho.

We have fairly new next door neighbours and in the last few weeks the guy has been shouting very loudly and been very abusive to his partner. I havnt seen or heard any evidence of violence. My problem is the guy is a bit notorious re violence and has a few nasty friends, i supose what i am saying is i dont want to bring a load of shit down on me and my family. Any ideas re trying to find a solution to this.

I'm not sure how you can find a solution to someone shouting at their partner?

Just worried it will go further

It's impossible to know if there's anything to resolve at the moment. Some couples just row loudly without any abuse taking place. I guess all you can do is monitor the situation because there's nothing reportable at the moment. I'd suggest trying to become a bit more friendly with his partner so you can offer support, but it sounds like you have to tread extremely carefully.

I'm confused, what exactly is the problem here?

it all seems one way

Unless the noise is disturbing you or your family then mind your own business. Some people have stormy relationships and they're not going to welcome you poking your nose in. If there is an issue with the shouting scaring your children or disturbing your peace then you could nicely ask him to keep it down or make a complaint to his landlord if he's renting. You can also complain to the council about noise. Only do something if the noise is affecting your household, keep out if it's delusions of saving someone from what you consider a bad relationship.

It all seems one way in your very limited experience of it. she might be sat there calling him all the cunts under the sun in a more quiet voice. wait for an actual problem I say.

I wouldn't advise trying to befriend her as chairmanwow suggests. I did just that in a similar situation and the bloke has turned his rage on me on quite a few occasions. He is definately an abuser so its a bit different, but any sort of agressive controlling partner is not going to take kindly to neighbours getting involved. It has ruined my home and I have no way to move at the moment.

Your neighbour won't like her being friends with someone who can be witness to him treating her badly, so please be careful. If things get out of control and you fear for her safety, you will just have to phone the police. Until then I would stay out of it.

Stay out of it!

For all you know he caught her shagging his brother/best friend/dad.

You sound like a caring neighbour. But there is nothing to react to...this could change and then you could call the police but it may not.