To want to flip my lid at DH for being late?

[grants1000]

But why am I surpised?! We've been together 20 years and he's late for everything, 9 times out of 10, he's just missed out youngest being invested at Beavers by 15 mns, I told him what time to come, I am one of the leaders FFS.

I am f'ing furious!

What was his reason?

Just turn up late for stuff that's important to him in future. Perennially late people piss me off too.

Oh come on if he's late 9 times out of 10 and you've been together 20 years you knew he'd be late. yabu. you should of told him to come half hour earlier.

Yanbu though to want him to remember correct times by himself

my exh was exactly the same - incidently sois one of my best mates - i am afraid i resorted to the rather underhanded technique of telling them we needed to be at X at least 30 mins before so that we actually managed to turn up on time...i still do this with friend and her fiance has adopted the same approach - she is aware we do it and it is a source of great entertainment though :)

i get this too - i do the telling him half an hour earlier too but he is wise to it!

My sister does this and it really pisses me off. She does it to everyone, not just me.
STBX was always late too, never for me as he made that mistake once and once only, but was to everyone else.
It just screams "I am more important than you, my time is more important than you and I expect you to sit around waiting for me to deign to arrive because I am worth waiting for!"
I now tell my sister an hour early for anything, which pisses me off massively that I have to do it.

A conversation along the lines of "Why is your life and time more important than mine or your kids?" and see what he says. If he says it isnt then simply say "Good, I will expect you to be on time in future then".

LEM but thats worse surely? That means he knows that being late pisses you off, knows that you are finding ways around it and is being late deliberately!

It just screams "I am more important than you, my time is more important than you and I expect you to sit around waiting for me to deign to arrive because I am worth waiting for!"
Exactly. They wouldn't turn up late for a flight to take them away on a lovely holiday!

Yanbu - this trait in people is deeply unattractive.
Selfish git.

He was dithering with work emails at home, nothing that could not have waited the 30mns it would have taken him to come, watch & go home, I said it starts at 6.45 knowing it would be 7pm but he comes in at 7.10. I've left the house to go for a swim expressing my annoyance & disappointment. Utter test.

Utter twat! Not test!

It pretty much conveys his total lack of interest doesn't it?

is being invested in Beavers important then? no clue what it means!

YANBU. My husband does this for all social occasions & all meals I cook at home - bloody irritating - he'd never miss a plane or train, so he can be on time if he makes an effort. He says he hates being late, but just doesn't seem to manage not to be. If we're going out he makes me late, which is infuriating - I've threatened to leave without him & travel separately, but never seem to be able to do it. We start meals without him now. What is really maddening is when he leaves me & our son waiting around for him & then suddenly zooms down the stairs & out of the door when he is finally ready, leaving us scrambling behind him, as if we were late not him - grrrr!

YANBU - My husband does this every single day. It really pees me off. It is my biggest bug bare.
He says he is just setting off from work, so I put tea on. Only to be still waiting for him 2 hours later.... today is no exception!

STBX got better for a while when I started going out without him if we were meeting friends or family. They would ask where he was, and because they knew what he was like, I would say that I didnt want to be late just because he was! Sadly, it didnt last long....

And of course the point about travel etc is a good one.

They can be on time for their boss, their holiday transport or a movie they want to see. Again, just says that waitees are not important enough for them to care about.