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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think he isn't a "genius"

12 replies

Dorange · 10/06/2013 21:25

My friend is in love with her boyfriend and chatting yesterday she told me she couldn't understand why he couldn't find a better job where he could use all of his creative potential....

She said she thinks he is a genius and the examples she gave to me was:

1 - He created an album on FB with unusual/rare/beautiful pictures of famous footballers (he is a photographer and football fan). No, he didn't take the pictures himself, he found it online and created a FB album.

2 - He also posts lots of You Tube music clips on FB, music from around the world and usually music that many people don't listen to or aren't aware of...

I am his friend on FB, yes the photo album is cool and I like some of the music but I don't think that he is a 'genius" because he does this stuff on FB...perhaps if he got off FB a bit and used his time to think and try how to use his creativity for his career or to make money (one of their worries), it would be time better spent?

I guess it is because I see my friend so infatuated ((they lived a part and are in a long distance relationship)), thinking about leaving her country, which she just moved back in for very personal reasons ((and she was unhappy whilst here)) and come back here, with no guarantee of a good job for her potential, (she has her own company and projects where she is now) to live in his flat and to depend on him...I am worried for her...but she asked my opinion and I couldn't be totally honest...

No I don't think he is a genius, and I don't think she should come back just for him...specially because their original arrangement was for him to move over there...

OP posts:
yaimee · 10/06/2013 21:26

Erm...
Genius is in the eye of the beholder Hmm

wannabedomesticgoddess · 10/06/2013 21:31

He sounds like an arse.

overmydeadbody · 10/06/2013 21:32

She's not using the term genius correctly.

Obviously he isn't one, and I'm sure she knows it, she's just using it as a term of endeerment.

FatherSpodoKomodo · 10/06/2013 21:33

Hooray, I'm a genius!

I have also put photos on fb, and videos on youtube.

Don't put down us geniuses, you are just jealous.

BridgetBidet · 10/06/2013 21:34

She's in the first flush of love and thinks everything is amazing. Nod and smile. It'll pass.

NotDead · 10/06/2013 21:35

different music = job on six music.. go for it! !

raisah · 10/06/2013 21:36

Ask her how long has he been a member of MENSA & what his IQ level is the next time she says that he is a genius!

CloudsAndTrees · 10/06/2013 21:39

Well, to be fair, he could be a genius.

He probably isn't, but he could be.

But even if he is, genius level intelligence is next to useless without a desire to work and motivation to actually earn a living.

Dorange · 10/06/2013 21:49

He does work but apparently he can't for some reason find a jog where he can be 100% fulfilled and use all of his creativity? But who does?

So, my friend, who also is a photographer (a lot better than he is IMHO), and has a PhD in communication and journalism and has just opened her own company in her home country, where she was so happy to be back to, because here she was working in menial jobs just to pay the rent over here, and who took the decision to go back there after her dad passed away whilst she was over here, because she wanted to stay close to her mum who is elderly .... is now considering to come back over here just to stay close to him...but the plan when they decided to be in this long distance relationship was for him to go live over there...but apparently he s changing his mind (?)

Sorry, if the post doesn't make much sense, I'm not a native speaker myself and I had a crazy-ish day today.

OP posts:
laughinggravy · 10/06/2013 21:51

On the other hand, it might not pass...

Many years down the line, a friend of mine is still convinced her DH is a genius he's a twat

MammaTJ · 10/06/2013 21:57

You were asked your opinion!

Quite often on here people get told 'she hasn't asked don't give it'. You were expressly asked. This means she has doubts, you had an opportunity to tactfully tell her the truth! You should have. Gently and kindly with the words 'you are a fabulous photographer and he is not quite as good as you' in there somewhere. Maybe if she asks again, do that. It is a definite show of doubt and request for your opinion!!

Dorange · 10/06/2013 22:05

I simply told her to think carefully about her actions and to weight up all the pros and cons of her coming back...
Also told her not to give in to the urge to make cute little geniuses straight away, IF she decides to come back, and wait until she establishes herself in her career. Not against SAHPs but apparently money will be a big worry for them and she is a very thirsty person career wise, iykwim, I think she will have opportunities here, even though she didn't have many when she was here before, and she says she does want to do a course of some sort and this would be one of her conditions...I just don;t want to see her unhappy and regretful again.

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