to stop contact due to kidnap threat?

[boomboomfirepower]

Long time poster, I name change a lot..

I'm in a difficult situation and I need a quick poll of opinions because I do not know what to do.

Little bit of background. Ds is almost three, exp has been seeing him for about s year after taking me to court following a year of little interest. There is no court order for contact just a guided minimum of two hours a week. He has roughly one overnight and one day a week on average which we arrange around his work and my college etc.

Sunday night he dropped ds off and we had a little argument because I refused to allow him to take ds to the summer solstice at stone henge next week as I think ds is too young and I know there will be drugs and drink involved and I don't trust who will be driving. Exp told me he could take ds any time he wanted and not bring him back, and there would be nothing I could do except try to take him to court to get ds back. I also don't know where exp lives because he won't give me his address. I said he could not take him and he said 'watch me' and reached into my house and tried to grsb ds.

I'd stop contact and get a formal agreement in place.

Also if you suspect your exp is drinking and doing drugs, why are you allowing overnight contact anyway?

And get his address. Why the hell is your child going somewhere overnight when you don't know where he is?

Time to contact both police, and get the threat on file, and a solicitor.

Sorry phone glitched and posted too soon.

I Pushed him away from ds and he started yelling so I shut the door. My fiancé witnessed all of this so on my mothers advice I called the non emergency police line. They told me they couldn't advise on contact but the police man said he personally would stop contact until I had sought legal advice.

My worries are that exp will obviously not be happy with that and try to kidnap ds properly, or that if I let ds go with him he will not bring him back. Because I don't know where he lives I would not have much chance of finding ds if this happened. Also ds loves his father and I don't know how he will react to not seeing him.

Im panicking because I honestly don't know what to do.

I mentioned drink and drug concerns in court but because they could not get funding for a drug test they allowed contact anyway.

I used to have his address but he moved. Kidnap threat is on file with police now.

Stop contact and get a proper court order in place. You should know where your own child is staying. Your ex does!

Seriously, take the police advice and get solicitor advice.

If there's an agreement for two hours in place, does that two hours have to be unsupervised? If not, then maybe say you'll allow the two hours but it takes place at your house with you present.

Worth a session with your solicitor for advice on how to progress legally.

My ex is a nutter and did kidnap my dd. it was the worst 4 days of my life and the police could do nothing as I had no court order. Get a solicitor ASAP and take the matter back to court. It sounds like the only way forward is for your son to see his dad in a contact centre.

I'd stop contact.
Get a legal order in place asap.
Are the drink and drugs specific to solstice or does he use them regularly?
Maybe rethink overnights if regular.
I don't think it's appropriate for him not to share his address if your dc is staying their either, that needs sorting!
Definitely stop until something concrete is in place!
Poor you, he sounds like a total knob!

Yes. Inform exp clearly and without emotion that you are going to seek advice as you are concerned about his threats. Do this as soon as possible.
Explain that you don't want him not to have contact but you need to be clear that what he is saying is unacceptable and he is actually threatening to put your child at risk (of emotional harm by removing him from his mum) your exp lifestyle issues are secondary but you should at least be able to discuss these and come to a decision that you are both comfortable with without him resorting to nasty threats.

Your exp has the other 5 or 6 days a week to use drugs and alcohol and spend time partying if that is what he wants to do. It is not compatible with parenting.

Having had this threat myself when we first broke up ( none of the other problems though) if the dad is named on the birth certificate and therefore has parental responsibility the police can't do anything. There has to be a court order. Don't let your child go with his dad until you have the court order and an address.

can you get residencey tomorrow, from the court, google or ask in legal. if you have residency, then he will have to be bought back. (as far as i remember) google tonight and check.