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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to think this Army boarding school allowance thing is a bit jammy?

63 replies

PostBellumBugsy · 10/06/2013 15:52

I know that if you are overseas alot, you want to give your DCs continuity and that is fine BUT, if you are UK based and your wife & DCs don't even live with you, is it really fair to claim the boarding school allowance?

Met up with some old friends at the weekend & very boasty guy was there who nailed me to the floor with tales of his cushy life. He is quite high up in the army (Lt Col) and he was bragging about how the Army paid for his pied a terre in London, whilst his wife and the DCs lived out in Dorset (at her Dad's huge mansion) and the army paid whatever percentage they pay for his DCs to go to boarding school.

I'm not sure if it was just his manner but it didn't quite seem right to me. Surely that allowance is for those in the army who are deployed all over the show & who haven't spent the last 4 years in London?

Am so not armed forces bashing, as I have a great deal of respect for them and the sacrifices they make. Anyway, no doubt I'll probably be flamed, but was just curious.

OP posts:
SgtTJCalhoun · 10/06/2013 17:21

goblingranny has summed my childhood up as an army child but I would like to add one thing - the constant knowledge that my Dad may be killed or wounded while doing his job and having him away for up to 6 months at a time knowing that might happen while he was gone. Having friends that this actually happened to. Can you imagine what that does to a child's developing psyche? I think fees for boarding school for those kids is a teeny price to pay.

Slipshodsibyl · 10/06/2013 17:33

There is not that much 'jam'' in the lives of forces families. I think using taxes to ensure forces children have continuity of education and as settled a life as they can be given is the least we can do and I think full fees should be covered. (An I am not forces, and nor is anyone close to me).

Farewelltoarms · 10/06/2013 17:55

I know someone in FO who's in line for 100k a year to subsidise their vast brood. Not sure why they can't go to state boarding schools. Nor why the benefit cap doesn't apply to them...

JenaiMorris · 10/06/2013 18:01

FO - Foreign Office?

The benefits cap won't apply because 'perks' have nothing to do with state benefits. Confused

Evilberry · 10/06/2013 18:03

My parents used the allowance to send me to a state sixth form boarding school to do my A-Levels in Winchester. It is only an allowance and they had to top it up to cover the full boarding fees. At that point I had only lived abroad and was planning on going to university.

It allowed me to experience life away from an overseas base and be able to do a wider range of A-Levels than were on offer at the forces school in Cyprus.

There were quite a few of us at the school and it we were able to support each other. I am very grateful that I had the opportunity.

JenaiMorris · 10/06/2013 18:05

State schools get pupil premium for service personnel's children. The jammy bastards.

Wink
cantdoalgebra · 10/06/2013 18:08

There are some jobs in the forces that that allow Boarding School allowance to be paid even when the family is living in their own home and the spouse away at another location. Some jobs in London fall into this category due to the difficulty of finding suitable housing. In these instances, the forces also pay towards a flat for the serving personnel. It is quite possible that the officer you are taking about is in one of these jobs and is therefore claiming this allowance quite legitimately - if he leaves that job for another married accompanied job, his family will either have to move with him or the children will have to be taken out of private school unless he can afford the fees himself (unlikely on a forces wage). The rules are very strict.

meditrina · 10/06/2013 18:09

They can't go to state boarding schools because there aren't enough places. And the pressures on the DofEd budget mean expansion just isn't gong to be top of their Lia for new spending.

Similar rules on eligibility/mobility.

fishybits · 10/06/2013 18:11

If that's true then he's committing fraud and please report him Angry

Farewelltoarms · 10/06/2013 18:15

I was being satirical - of course it's not a state benefit though it's certainly a benefit that gets paid by the state. It just seems to me outrageous that all that whining about 'large families on benefits' doesn't seem to apply to large families sending kids to Eton. And that it costs the state as much as the pupil premium for my children's whole primary (40% fsm).
Oh well, I'm sure diplomats are worth it...

meditrina · 10/06/2013 18:23

CEA maximum would one cover about 60% of Eton fees.

I suppose their might be some rich families who can afford Eton fees (private income, military and diplomatic pay certainly wouldn't cover it), but I think you find them in a varie of careers.

Multinationals are far, for more generous than the state when it comes to schools packages.

And of course, if you want the "perks", there's nothing to stop you from joining up and living the mobile life.

Tailtwister · 10/06/2013 18:25

It might sound 'jammy' on the face of it, but when you actually examine the reasoning behind having such a provision it isn't. I don't know anyone in the forces at all, but I can only imagine how tricky the nature of the job makes family life. It's a small price to pay (if you can call it that) in exchange for someone potentially laying down their life for the country we share, isn't it?

JenaiMorris · 10/06/2013 18:25

cantdo a Lt Col's salary is hardly low!

I'm not saying the CEA is bad by any means (I fully support it, in fact) nor that the OP's friend is over paid. But he won't be short of a bob or two.

Original poster
PostBellumBugsy · 10/06/2013 18:28

I really don't know very much at all about forces life. The only real knowledge I had was of my friends - who live in quarters and whose life doesn't bear much resemblance to the man who chewed my ear off at the weekend. I don't think he is Foreign Office as he told me which regiment he was in - but maybe you can be in the FO & a regiment. Like I've said - I really don't know much about forces life.

It has been interesting to read the answers, some think it is fraud, some a perk of the job, some that he's a nob and others just think I'm a bit annoying for having the audacity to ask on a public forum!

Anyhow, his comments long rather smug monologue made me surprised and curious & I'm still glad I asked - because as always I've learnt more about something I didn't know much about.

OP posts:
BridgetBidet · 10/06/2013 18:29

I went to boarding schools with a lot of forces girls.

Although this chap might have spent 4 years in London the point is that he had no idea at the start of the 4 years if it would remain that way. You can be deployed anywhere at short notice, it's not like a normal job where you work on one site. And it's not like you can turn it down, you have to go where you are sent. The army doesn't let people off doing things because little Tarquin has a GCSE oral.

The army has to have that level of flexibility because they can't guarantee where their parents will be - but they can guarantee undistrupted schooling via boarding schools.

lurkerspeaks · 10/06/2013 20:06

I think you don't know enough about his particular situation to be making judgements like this. I know that forces families when on postings to london struggle to get accommodation and in some situations london postings are now being actively discouraged.

I have friends in both FCO and forces. Their jobs make their childrens lives difficult enough without totally fucking up their educational opportunities. State boarding is not an option due to 1) lack of places and 2) the fact that if you are abroad and your kids in the Uk you at least want them to be near to some family /friends who will do some loco parentis weekend exeat cover/ turning up to cheer on the rugby team.

In addition if you remove CEA then you will affect the FCO/ forces ability to retain senior staff (as most people who have kids old enough to be at boardings school are by dint of the time taken to progress relatively senior). If someone was cavalier about their children's education I would be concerned about their attitude to other aspect of their work.

Most of my friends have been v. concerned about the recent changes to CEA e.g. FCO staff they can no longer claim when they are back on a home posting but given postings are 3 years long and they typically do abroad- whitehall- abroad this is a significant issue as many will struggle on their UK salaries to sustain a family home within reach of london and boarding school fees (as they wouldn't want to yank their kids out of boarding school on returning to the UK knowing they are likely to be going back out again in a few years time thus disrupting the education that the allowance is meant to preserve. This is especially problematic as the need to keep moving means it is difficult for their spouses to maintain a career and income stream.

Many are talking about coming out of the forces/ FCO as their children come first or of husbands/ wives living apart for a number of years. This has knock on consequences both for their relationships, professional lives and their ability to represent the UK.

Traditional diplomacy has the ambo's wife doing lots of charity/ public functions (probably an outdated model but it is the model in place) but she can't do this if she is back in the UK to guarantee the kids education. I'm sure that such work is not truly essential but it is often expected and until that culture changes will be comment worthy when absent.

HollyBerryBush · 10/06/2013 20:53

He is quite high up in the army (Lt Col) and he was bragging about how the Army paid for his pied a terre in London, whilst his wife and the DCs lived out in Dorset (at her Dad's huge mansion)

This man's wife & children live at her father's house in Dorset and that is where he spends Christmas, Easter and weekends.

30 seconds on google IDs this person. Pull your thread OP, you put his him, wife and children in danger of terrorist activity.

Actually I'm reporting this thread

EliotNess · 10/06/2013 20:58

totally.
i knew SO MANY families who diddled it and lived a few miles away from the school or didnt move at all

meditrina · 10/06/2013 20:58

30 secs on google does indeed give hits.

But they are all retired or deceased, and unlikely o b the person referred to in OP. Also, if a terrorist was targeting info published online about military I would doubt MN would be their start point.

EliotNess · 10/06/2013 21:00

OR they board for a year, or something then carry on as day kids - parents still living in locale.

I think the army are hotting up on the fraud though now. Was an open secret before

meditrina · 10/06/2013 21:01

Eliotness

I hope you reported all of them on the fraud hotline (which has been around for years) rather than becoming complicit in their fraud by your silence.

EliotNess · 10/06/2013 21:02

i never knew there was one. I dont know them any more.

EliotNess · 10/06/2013 21:02

and steady on with the accusations, lady

SgtTJCalhoun · 10/06/2013 21:04

How many families did you know Eliot? Because I was an army child, an army wife and a soldier myself and I didn't know any.

MNHQ
OliviaMMumsnet · 10/06/2013 21:05

Ahem