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To think that my ex faltmate should not have insisted that I cleaned the oven with oven cleaner whilst pregnant?

19 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 10/06/2013 11:56

When I was pregnant I was living with a flatmate (dds dad was gone). She started off nice but I think got a bit jealous of my pregnancy. I was living in her house so had to tread on egg shells the whole time ...

I have no objection to helping with the house work but she absolutely insisted I clean the oven with the usual horrible chemical oven cleaning spray. I always felt that using the substance was a bit dodgy to use whilst pregnant. I should have refused but I felt a bit bullied by her tbh and was vulnerable whilst pregnant. I should have siad that I wouldn't clean the oven but would either use natural products or swap for another chore. I guess I am a bit scared by the way some people treated me whilst pregnant; including my ex.

OP posts:

superstarheartbreaker · 10/06/2013 11:57


OP posts:

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 10/06/2013 11:58

You could have refused.


EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 10/06/2013 11:58

Sorry that came out a bit bluntly. But you could!


YouStayClassySanDiego · 10/06/2013 12:00

Was this a while ago, have you had your baby and are you still living there?


BeckAndCall · 10/06/2013 12:00

I take it is is some time in the past - you use the past tense throughout - just forget about it.

Concentrate on things happening in your life today.


GoblinGranny · 10/06/2013 12:01

How long ago was this?
I hope you are living with more considerate people now, and are happier. Sometimes bad stuff happens that wasn't our fault and it does come back to haunt, but you need to realise that she was being selfish and that you won't treat anyone like that, and move on.
Be happy that you have had the strength to make them both exes.


Dannilion · 10/06/2013 12:06

You should have refused really. But I'm assuming it was a long time ago and your child suffered no ill effects, so just forget about it and let it be a lesson to you to take care of yourself more.


MalcolmTuckersMum · 10/06/2013 12:08

So what was the outcome of you having been 'forced' to use the oven cleaner whilst pregnant? It's hard to know what to say if absolutely nothing happened really.


quoteunquote · 10/06/2013 12:13

You could of got an oven cleaning company in.


peggotty · 10/06/2013 12:16

Sometimes it's easy to dwell on stuff that has happened in the past if you feel you haven't been vindicated on it. Especially when you find yourself in a better place and look back on other people's behaviour - yes, she sounds like a bitch and you sound like you weren't able to stand up for yourself back then - what are things like for you now?


TigOldBitties · 10/06/2013 12:18

I think if you felt really strongly you could have insisted on not doing it.

Have you had any issues as a result of this, all I've tended to do in the later stages of pregnancy is clean, often with very strong chemical products and I certainly don't feel that I or my DC have ever suffered as a result. I don't think I would see it as a dangerous thing for a pregnant woman to do.

However you should not have been pressured into doing something you clearly didn't want to do.


TheToysAreALIVEITellThee · 10/06/2013 12:30

Forget about it OP. you could have said no, swapped etc but you didn't. Move on.


GoblinGranny · 10/06/2013 12:39

Oh sweetheart, I've just had a flick through some of your other posts in MH and Relationships. You've got so much more on your plate to deal with than this, it's not worth thinking about. Truly.
You have a 4 year old daughter that you love, move on together.


jester68 · 10/06/2013 12:45

I think it is best just to move on and not to worry about it now.

You could have refused, you could have used something different.

Or perhaps explained to her why you did not think it was safe to use. Perhaps she did not realise you were worried about it/could not see an issue?


ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 10/06/2013 12:49

There isn't much to be gained by worrying about long past injustices. "If only" is a difficult way to live your life. Rather than dwelling on it perhaps think instead about what you can do now to bolster your self confidence and self esteem so you would feel strong enough to refuse if someone put you in a similar position again.


TheCatIsUpTheDuff · 10/06/2013 13:54

Is there any real, proper evidence that pregnant women shouldn't clean ovens? Other than that vague, alarmist nonsense from last week's news?


HeadsDownThumbsUp · 10/06/2013 14:09

No, she shouldn't have done that. Aside from recent news stories, and the likelihood of this chemical and that chemical being dangerous, she should not have insisted on the exact cleaning products that her flatmate was to use!

If it was your turn to clean the oven then you should be able to use whatever means you wish to clean the bloody oven! Not that I would be insisting that my flatmate clean the oven anyway. How often does an oven really need cleaned out anyway? And if I really, really want it to be cleaned very regularly, I'd do it myself.


superstarheartbreaker · 10/06/2013 14:30

Hi all. Yes I do need to leave it in the past; it was just a very odd time. All is better now. I love living with just dd tbh.

OP posts:

megsmouse · 10/06/2013 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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