To wonder if its compulsory to be into all things modern...

[21stcenturydropOut]

Like Twitter, Facebook, Reality TV, latest pop music etc. I chose to opt out of most of this popular culture stuff. I don't feel I need it in my life. It has started to feel a little isolating in certain circles though, and I wonder if I need to immerse myself in the modern world before my kids realise what a square I am. Someone said the other day that I am old before my time (i'm in my 30s) and I must admit that did hurt a little.
I know just a little about computers and stuff but have definitely been left behind in the world of technology.
I have felt depressed for a while now, so I do think I have isolated myself a bit because of this. Where should I start to modernise a little?

I don't watch much television. I use facebook but not twitter. I have never been into pop music. I read books and newspapers, real ones. I don't like the name of the kindle, and I like the smell of books.
My kids think I'm cool!

There is nothing wrong with turning your back on technology. But if you want to use something then maybe ask your real life friends what they use and maybe ask them for help getting started.

Either you're into stuff or you're not, and liking FB, twitter, Top 10 music and reality TV is in no way the definition of cool (for want of a better word).

You're better off enjoying what you enjoy and being yourself.

Twitter is shite - I've tried twice now and just cannot get on board. And the less said about reality TV, the better.

personally op i think you sound cool.maybe you need to find friends in different circles?

You don't have to modernise at all if you don't want to, you're not missing much with Facebook and twitter, it's mostly people portraying what they want you to see....which often is nothing like their lives. When I had pnd Facebook did more damage than good because I compared my life to others, in hindsight I can see my friends were dealing with the same stuff as me. I think I regressed instead and have my phone off unless I'm out.

I would say an iPad is a good way to start, it's really easy to use once you get into it and you can keep your Music, films, Facebook, twitter, Pinterest etc on one device.

What kind of music do you like? There are specific charts for each genre on the bbc sites. If you have a dab radio you can listen to all sorts, 6 music is pretty good and I enjoy a bit of radio one but tbh we're all happiest here listening to absolute 80's.

You seem a little confused.

Are you being unreasonable to wonder? Er, no. Wondering is not unreasonable.

Is it "compulsory"? Er, no. Most things are not compulsory.

Where should you start to modernise? Only in the things that you think will actually improve your life.

I'm not into any of the stuff you mentioned either and I'm only in my 20s. I've found that people tend to go crazy about stuff like this and then get bored pretty quickly. Lots of my friends seem to be deleting their fb accounts, or taking a step back from it recently. Easier to just let it all run its course imo.

I use FB (read more than post), and have an unused twitter account because it doesn't interest me. Reality TV is shite, as is a lot of popular music. I will eventually get a Kindle, if only to reclaim some of the space my books take up!

I've been told I was old before my time since I was 13! It's even on one of my school reports. I also get accused of being a big kid. They both seem to be throw away comments to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Don't "modernise" because you feel you have to. If you want to, I'd suggest have a look about on FB and seeing if you can find any of your friends on there. If it interests you, make an account.

It really depends what you are into. I've found facebook is an excellent way to find out what is happening in our village, because I don't know many to talk to face to face (am not in the UK, social things are NOT the same). It can both help and hinder depression. Computers can make your life easier, but sometimes it's easier and quicker to do stuff the old fashioned way. FB is a good way to reconnect with old friends who you've lost touch with.

I'm 36, got my laptop and i like Facebook because i find out what's going on with my relatives and colleagues that way.

I love dance music, especially Dubstep; Chase n Status and Emeli Sande, Plan B etc.

BUT My friends are into indie-type bands which i'm really not up to date on at all in fact i find that kind of music a bit boring (daren't tell them that)!

Everyone here has Kindles but i prefer real books.

Everyone else has Smartphones but i prefer my 3G Nokia.

I'd like to get an MP3 Player preferably an Apple one with a dock. I'd also like a new camera. But those things are for when i've got some money which i don't have at the moment.

I know people in their 20s who don't have the latest technology or listen to music and people in their 60s who do. Everyone is different. So don't feel bad!

Thanks so much for the clarification trills,

I was so worried if I didn't sign up to Twitter the police would be called.

What a good job you are here to be the voice of reason.

I do however think it's important to understand the tools your DCs use to communicate though. Of course it's completely up to you what you do with your leisure time, but I do believe you need to stay one step ahead of your DC.

Just answering that question you asked :)

Trills makes sense to me, as a household we are fairly low-tech as we've only got the stuff that each of us feels enhances our lives, and that we can afford.
Our close friends are very similar, some are technogeeks and some are happy in the 80s and two live off the grid, including no electricity.
The thing is that we are all comfortable with our choices, and we like each other as friends, but we are by no means homogeneous. It's one of the things that defines us, however odd the choices, we are happy with them.
It's the insecurity in your OP that is worrying, not your lack of pop culture.

Well, I do own both a Kindle and an ipod (need Dh's help to sync it though) I have a deactivated Facebook account and I am obviously an avid MN fan.
So maybe I am not as disconnected as I thought.
Since being depressed, I have found I don't listen to much new music or much other than classical come to that. Maybe that would be a good place to start. I will have a look at Radio One site
I found that Facebook was really bad for my state of mind. All that boasting and oversharing really gets to me!

Twitter is rubbish, facebook is great for staying in touch with old friends, and now I have emigrated, making new ones. I love my ebook and adore my ipad, but hardly ever carry my mobile phone. And Foxtel/sky plus is amazing. Use what works for you, ignore the rest.

Wilson, I'm going to have to get a FB account for exactly that reason. DD2 turns 13 next year and she will want FB.

DD1(15) also needs FB access as a club she's in are moving to using FB rather than Email for arranging events. Otherwise she's always been happy FaceTime/imessangering her best mates. (She has absolutely no interest in general school gossip or in giving some elements at school a way to bully her).

Music and reality TV aren't my thing, just as soaps never had been.

DD2 ensures I know some music and inflicts odd bits of Xfactors got talent strictly wearing skates on me.

(Fortunately she isn't into big jungle brother get me out of here)

Twittering is something birds do!

Exactly!
Although I'm very fussy about Facebook friends, so I actually live having an account because they are interesting and post stuff worth knowing about.
Your friends sound a bit shallow and ordinary TBH, you actively choose what to like and use.
I have a kindle and over 6,000 books in the house, DH doesn't own any gadgets other than a basic PAYG mobile that he uses occasionally for calls and never for texts. DD has a smartphone and many technogadgets,and many sites that she uses, DS isn't interested.
We are individuals.

Oh don't go on the Radio One site, Radio Six is where it's at!

I've recently turned 40, have Twitter and FB and am in love with my iPad (not to the extent that I jump and get a new one every time they're out, am still on the iPad2), my lap top is 7 years old (the BT engineer actually sniggered when he came to fit me for Infinity! How rude?), but as I don't use it very much I don't see the point of upgrading.

Don't feel the need to spend over the odds just for an iPhone, so just have the cheapest contract phone around each upgrade, as long as it has Sat Nav and lets me text/phone I'm happy.

I do watch a lot of 'trash' tv as my DH works shifts so spend literally half my evenings at home on small child duty.

Don't need a 3d tv, Sky, and prefer my music on CDs as they come in a case and you usually get the lyrics!

I stopped listening to the charts sometime in the late 80s when I was about 16/17, dance music came in and (in my opinion) spoilt everything (no more erection section in nightclubs, and they seem to be playing the same song from the moment you enter until they kick you out!). Occasionally I'll hear a song I really like, thinking it's a new release, then find out it's someone everyone else has been raving about for months!

sounds like you need to find people to embrace your inner geek with!

I don't listen really to populat music or watch much TV (I missed it like mad last year when I didn't have one though - can't cope without random BBC4 documentataries while I'm knitting obviously.

I knit, play boardgames and do lots of other 'weird' things like listen to the Archers and go to opera.

Go out and find friends who share your loves and who won't judge - our pub quiz team is full of slightly odd computery type academics who get excited about random strings of code on iPads and a heap of people (some of whom also fall in the former category) who are obsessed with turning expensive coloured strings into objects. None of us bat an eyelid at anything odd and we always lose on the music round unless my friend S comes who listens to nothing but Radio 1 in her car (and does a lot of driving for work!)

I do however LOVE my kindle (unlimited books when travelling = bliss) and no piles of books that will never be re-read, and other shiny igadgets - e.mail up a mountain. Awesome!

As others have said, the key thing is to be 'happy' in your own comfort zone.

I don't 'do' much technology, I use a PC and can text but that's about it . I don't know what I might be missing by not using Facebook but my life is very busy anyway so I don't have time to do anything else (if that makes sense ).

No one has ever said to me, I couldn't contact you because you are not on FB/twitter/whatever.

My DH was hugely amused at the weekend when a younger acquanitance asked him in all seriousness who would win BGT or The Voice .......... we have never ever watched any sort of celebrity/reality show (not being superior, just honest !). So yes, in that sort of circle we wouldn't fit in, but does it matter?

Radio 6 is wonderful imho. Esp Radcliffe and Maconie. I do love music but not everyday stuff churned out on R2 and 1. It's def the place for the more eclectic which, I love.

I empathise with you 21stC. I don't use Twitter or Facebook. It just doesn't appeal to me at all. I joined Pinterest the other day because I keep hearing how great it is. Talk about underwhelmed. I haven't touched it again since.

I've reached the age where I know what I like. I have a Kindle, PC access yes I do like that, an MP3. I think I might enjoy an ipad/pod thingy but not having one atm isn't keeping me awake nights.

I think as long as you keep an eye on latest things so you are at least making an informed choice about whether you want stuff in your life rather than being oblivioous to them, then deciding something's not your thing is perfectly fine.

I feel out of discussions when people start conversations about XFACTOR, Strictly, Get me out of this Jungle or whatever the hell it's called. I have no interest in reality tv whatsoever. I detest it and I can't make myself like it in order to join in. Regarding tv I'm happiest with BBC4.

My own dc seem pretty clued up regarding stuff that I don't do. They have their own tastes which is great.

I love discovering fellow quirky people who don't follow mainstream stuff. I always feel there should be a secret handshake for us 'mishapes and misfits'

Ah, just be yourself. I'm 34 and I stopped being "current" with music and technology some time in my early 20s. I have a laptop and use Facebook; tried Twitter briefly but didn't "get" it so abandoned it; really have no musical awareness post 2001 or so; have no interest in things like Britain's Got Talent, the Voice etc; have a basic phone that calls and texts and takes rudimentary photos. I've never owned an i-anything and don't especially want to. I do have and love my Kindle.

I actually love TV, but it's box sets and downloads (and Sky-plussing entire series of things on Sky Atlantic) of things like Breaking Bad and Community and Game of Thrones.