Family Photo

[OneToThree]

Would this annoy you just a little bit?

It was dh birthday today and mil gave him a card with a photo inside of him and 2 of our children (we have 3). The eldest wasn't in the photo, he's 6.

This wasn't done on purpose, she just doesn't think sometimes.

Didn't make a big deal of it in front of ds as didn't want to to ask why she hadn't chose a photo with him in as well.

AIBU to be a little bit annoyed?

Is the eldest your DH's child? Or a stepchild?

If the eldest is his child too then it's probably just thoughtlessness. A momentary lack of judgement.

If it's his stepchild then it may still be thoughtlessness or maybe more. Hard to say without knowing what your MIL is usually like.

Well, if it was my MIL, I'd be momentarily annoyed and then put it down to total scatty randomness. And quietly mention to her later, that the missed-out child might have felt upset. But that's my MIL. If it was my mum, I'd be right-royally furious, 'cos I'd know it was deliberate!

All dh's children.

Dh did mention it to her but she looked at him a bit blankly.

She means nothing by it but it does start to grate sometimes. When the dts were really kicking off she said, just think if you'd have had these 2 first you wouldn't have had 3 children.

I wouldn't think too much about it. She probably just thought it was a nice photo and wanted him to have it, and didn't give it any more thought than that.

Yes I'm sure that's how it was.

Well that was my first AIBU. Not too controversial hey.

She probably thought her own baby looked particularly good in that photo and thought no more about it.

I think you're over thinking this. Was it not just a nice photo?

Was it a really good photo? Perhaps it was one she meant to pass on anyway and she just stuck it in the card.

Yes it was a nice one.

Not a big deal really just wanted other people's thoughts.

When a relative does a lot of slightly annoying things, I find that occasionally one of the slightly-annoying things makes me want to scream and throw things. Even though, in isolation, it's something that is only a leeetle bit irritating, with a perfectly reasonable explanation, and entirely well-meant ...

Erm, YABU, why does it need all of her grandchildren in it? I can't see how you're getting annoyed at all, you appear to just be looking for a reason to get annoyed. Of course she looked blankly when asked, it's a bonkers question - she chose a photo of her son she liked...

she said, just think if you'd have had these 2 first you wouldn't have had 3 children.

Really? What did she mean by that?

I'd have been slightly annoyed too. I'd have been far more annoyed by the if you'd had the last 2 first you wouldn't have had 3 kids comment.

Does she leave your eldest out of things a lot?

What eagle said.

YANBU. I'd be annoyed for your child tbh. Would it have been so much trouble to take a photo of all three kids? Sorry but I've always been taught that what you do for one you do for the other(s).

I would just assume it was a nice snap she'd taken of him and thought he'd like a copy. I generally reckon that sort of thing evens up over all time, and if you start trying to even up the whole time then you end up running ragged.
If she'd written "my favourite 3 boys" or something, then you complain.

And I thought the "if you'd had that one first, you'd have stopped at one" was a jokey comment, usually after one had done something outrageous in the mischievous category rather than naughty. Always has been when I've heard it used. It's no slur on the older one, more saying the younger is a handful.