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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to think you can't just take a risk and make a massive change?

16 replies

Eddiethehorse · 09/06/2013 07:25

Pipe dream or possible reality? we live in the middle east, nice lifestyle but we work very hard and the climate etc makes for a challenging environment especially during the summer. We are on our hols at my parents, they too live abroad . We have a 9 month old who is having a ball surrounded by family, eating food straight from the garden, being able to play outside, seeing nature, blah, blah (you get the idea). A business possibility has arisen, it would be a huge risk but something we feel we could do, it would take most of our resources but the upside would be the fantastic change in lifestyle for our baby and hopefully others to come......worth the leap or do you have to be grown up and practical forever? Am I having too much time to think as I relax and drink wine?

OP posts:

noisytoys · 09/06/2013 07:27

Go for it. I can see its what you really want and they say people tend to only regret what they don't do.

cherhorowitz · 09/06/2013 07:34

If it is possible and there's a market, I'd say go for it. It will result in a great change but how great it will be will be the product of work, advertising and timing.

If this fell through, what would you have for your family to fall back on? Would you still be able to afford the essentials for your baby?

Original poster

Eddiethehorse · 09/06/2013 07:45

If we were sensible and careful and relied on my parents more than we would have done before, then yes... We would never put DD security, well being etc at risk.

OP posts:

WaitingForMe · 09/06/2013 07:48

I feel that the greater the difference between your daily life and your holiday life, the less happy people are.

Sometimes you just need to have breakfast in the garden, sometimes you need to make a massive change but if your heart sinks at leaving the holiday behind then you should make changes of some kind.

Original poster

Eddiethehorse · 09/06/2013 07:52

We live in the sunshine now, have a nanny etc a very comfortable lifestyle (not smug I promise) but its at the expense of living near family, working our arses off, paying a huge amount of rent, being inadvertently taxed, not being able to spend enough time with DD, her being stuck inside for 6 months of the year. I think we have both had enough and realise that there is another way but it will mean huge compromise. If we don't take the challenge though nothing will change and the opportunity may not be there again......

OP posts:

FarBetterNow · 09/06/2013 08:18

Maybe the Mid East life style was more suited to you before DD was born.

Are you BOTH willing to have a lower standard of living;
cheaper clothes, cheaper cars, cheaper furniture?

You both will be working as hard, if not harder for a lot less, but the non-monetary advantages would be wonderful.

Is the business opportunity in your field of work, or is it something totally different ie a restaurant/

havingamadmoment · 09/06/2013 08:19

we took a risk and quit work to set up our own business and moved to where dhs family lives. It was really hard but it has worked out well.

Waferthinmint · 09/06/2013 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Perseis · 09/06/2013 08:22

I would take the risk. If you only stay with what's safe, you're staying with what you know - how can horizons ever expand that way? You can always do something different if it doesn't work out.

My test for these situations: if you were 80 and looking back on you life, would you regret not taking the chance?

Saidar · 09/06/2013 08:51

Last year we took the plunge and moved. It didn't turn out how we expected at all. Financially it was suicide, I had property where I was and due to various things I've lost those now. We're in rented accom now with no assets.

But, all the things I moved for, are still here. We have a better quality of life, schools are amazing, my son has gone from a quiet withdrawn boy to a young man flourishing and popular. Even when it goes "wrong", it can still be the right thing to do.

Floggingmolly · 09/06/2013 08:51

We've done it twice. Go for it

Original poster

Eddiethehorse · 09/06/2013 08:57

Wow I'd love to hear more details about your experiences positive or negativenif you can share. This is not a restaurant or bar per se. I'm just fed up of what we are doing and my husband is too, although it's all nice and comfortable it's not the goal. DD is loving herself here and that can only grow!

OP posts:

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/06/2013 10:05

" I think we have both had enough"
So, whether or not you take this "huge risk" - you are both ready for a change. You don't want to keep doing what you are doing now. And this huge risk is "something we feel we could do". I'm a fairly cautious person, I would probably consider other options alongside this opportunity, but it does sound worth considering to me.

MissMarplesBloomers · 09/06/2013 10:09

Go for it. Your DD deserves the freedom of being outside more & being closer to family is so important as she gets older for all parties.

Scaty but exciting-good luck!

aldiwhore · 09/06/2013 10:59

Always go for it, far better to do it and fail than live for the rest of your days wishing you'd done it.

You may lose everything, you may have to live on considerably less income, BUT you may find happiness, whatever the outcome you will always be able to say "we tried".

On that note, I AM moving back to the southwest within the next year. I'm taking the risk. We'll give up a lovely (very long term rented) home, a lovely school, great friends, and a pleasant job... but hopefully we'll have similar down there (so long as the school is good I'm happy) and who knows, maybe it will be the best thing we've ever done. If it doesn't work out, we start over.

I have tried for years to forget about moving there with my family, because I AM thankful of everything I have now... but the feeling is only getting stronger so we're going, it needs to be done.

Good luck, and I sincerely hope you find yourselves a good life and happiness. x

cory · 09/06/2013 11:33

My mother didn't take the risk (my dad is the kind of person who is happy anywhere so not really relevant to the argument). She stayed in a place where she was not happy, with a life she was not happy with, for nearly 30 years. She did it mainly for our sakes, to save us from upheaval. Tbh it wasn't great for us, at least not for me, to know that somebody close to us was that unhappy with her daily life and that it was for our sake. And of course the moment we grew up, we all left her: she was stuck in the place until retirement. It wasn't a horrible place, but she was lonely and felt isolated.

When a similar choice came up for me the other year, I spent serious time trying to pin down what I really wanted.

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