single parent jelousy

[wonderingsoul]

took the kids to the school fate today, had a lovely time, sat down to have a burger, on the next table was a dad and his son, the dad was tryi8ng to get him to eat his burger, by being silly and making a song.. i know that sounds quite odd or twee but it was really quite funny, he had his son and friend in stitches. (he was quite fit aswell.. think amrican, reall strong accent, bult very well and tall )

i smiled, then got this pang of guilt jeoulsey, and just felt quite sad, sitting here with just me n the boys n my mum. looking round seeing mums n dad having fun.

normaly im happy to be single, it just every now and then its does sting that we dont have that, the boys dont have that. and prob wont ever.

can you give me a kick up the ass before i fall deeper into the self pitty hole.

I know where you are coming from because I experience pangs of jealousy when I see children having fun with their Grandparents. Both my Mum and Dad have gone and one of my in laws, so only one Grandparent remains and he is very old and frail. I also experience these negative feelings when I see Mums and Daughters together. But they do not last for long,I feel very guilty afterwards but I can not help but feel sad. Sometimes self pity is a natural response and as long as it does not overwhelm us I would not worry, nine times out of ten we just accept the way things are, we are just caught out on the odd occasion.

I think we all get it, one way or another. appearances can be deceptive too. there are good things and bad things about every situation. doesn't stop it hurting every now and again though.

Having two parents dosen't guarantee happiness. My DD has both parents but sometimes she doesn't see DH all day as he works such long hours or was studying so hard. For many years it was me and my PIL who did most things with DD, DH would just help when he had the time. Lots of children have parents who are only just together and have to witness rageing arguments. There are lots of underlying problems in relationships. You sound like a great mum . My parents are together but have been completely unsupportive of me and rejected me when I was 17- whereas my best friend has never met her dad but she has the most amazing mum who has stood by her through everything. Your DCs will be so proud of you!

I've actually had several people say to me that they envy my single parenthood status - the fact that I get to make all the decisions without compromise, the fact that there is no one undermining me, the fact that my time after DC are sorted is my time to do with as I wish and with no other adult's needs to consider, the fact that my friendships or career don't have to come second to my relationship. I could go on.

Single, married - neither is better. They're just different, each with their own advantages and disadvantages.

As other posters have said you are just seeing a snapshot of life. When I was with my ex-husband, when we were out as a family we looked so happy but behind closed doors it was nothing like that. In fact a lot of the time it was hell and I was miserable. Don't always assume everything is as it seems.