Thought I'd add one to all the bus threads on here... Was IBU?

[Enfyshedd]

This all happened a while ago, but the bus threads have reminded me about it...

Some months ago, I had a day out with DD (then about 7 months) before before I went back to work, and got the bus to go to the big city. On the way home, I was a bit late getting to the bus station so there was quite a big queue in front of me (I'm used to the train for going to work, but the buses are cheaper if you don't have a season/friends & family ticket - problem is that I forget the bus times).

Now, our local buses have 2 spaces where you can leave a pram unfolded or park a wheelchair, and one of these spaces is better than the other because it's the dedicated wheelchair space so has a bar to stop the pram/wheel chair from moving out into the aisle (other side is just folding seats).

When I got on, there was an older couple sitting in the seats facing the wheelchair space so I had to park the (big travel system) pram on the other side next to the folding seats. It was the first time I'd had to sit that side and I realised that I couldn't lock the brake on both sides of the pram because of a barrier between the seat I was in and the folding seat section, so I was going to have to hold onto the pram all the way home to make sure it didn't swing out into the aisle. Also, it was one of the first times DD was forward facing in her pram (car seat part which allowed rear facing was in the car), so I was also concerned about DD spending about 30 mins with me out of sight because I was behind her (yes, she's my PFB).

There's only 1 stop after the bus station before the bus gets on the dual carriageway, so when the bus pulled out of the bus station and I realised I was going to have to sit on the edge of my seat clinging to the pram all the way home, I turned to the older couple and said "Excuse me, would it be possible to swap seats when the bus stops so I can put the pram safe in there (pointing to wheelchair space with bar which helps keep pram/wheelchair from rolling into the aisle)". The lady turned to me and replied quite shortly "No! He's had a operation on his back", turned back and spent the next 5 minutes muttering to her husband about me being rude & cheeky for asking to change seats.

Now, WIBU to ask to put a pram that I had no option to fold down (because of shopping underneath and not possible to do one handed while holding a wriggly 7mo DD) and which was keeping my DD safely secured into a space where I could be sure she would be safer? If it was a question of leg room, both pairs of seats had the same amount of extra leg room.

Aldi are doing a buggy for £20 perfect to have on standby for those days u need to use the bus. Would never attempt buses with those massive 3ft of nothing behind the seat, wheels two metres apart style posh push chairs.

My in laws bought us a big three wheeler for ds1. It was a serious piece of kit...very swish...but seeing as I didn't drive then, it was of absolutely no use to me. If they had bothered consulting me about it instead of rushing out and buying what they wanted, I could've saved them hundreds. I had to go out and buy a foldy uppy Maclaren so I could get on the bus with it, without clipping people's ankles and panicking when the buggy space was occupied. With a stroller, you can stand behind it if needs be...and often needs must.
If you are a pram enthusiast, you can buy some rather statementy foldy uppy space utilising numbers.
By the time I was on my third child I had the £20 basic stroller from Argos and I loved it.

I think what I'm trying to say, is that had you had a more sensible buggy, this situation would've presented no problem for you. That bit of the bus you're talking about, with the three fold up seats running alonside it, is perfectly adequate for a stroller...and you even get a seat yourself. Good times!

Shop for a nifty stroller and I swear, you'll wonder why you ever bothered with the tank.

What a fuss about nothing. And imvho people who KNOW they will be using public transport should account for this when choosing their childs pram/pushchair not getting the biggest bulkiest most impractical travel system that they cant fold/put the brake on or whatever.

"I'm sure by now you've learned the buggy shuffle (brakes on, shuffle the pram into place) so you made it a bit harder for yourself by not working out how to do that."

This is what I was going to say. The couple presumably had no idea that you didn't yet know how to put the brakes on in the space you were in but you felt you could have put the brakes on in the space you wanted.

If a wheelchair had been there & the other seats occupied you'd have had no choice but to fold buggy up , hold dd & shopping so you better work out how to manage!

Wow - Just amazed by how many people seem to think that my choice of pram is unreasonable! Considering that 99% of the time until shortly after then, I walked EVERYWHERE with the pram probably covering at least 5 miles a day including getting the shopping every few days for a family of 5, the big old tank of a travel system was perfect for my needs. This was about the time that we did buy a stroller for DD but as she was a small 7mo at the time, we only used that if we went out in the car.

If a wheelchair had been there and the other space filled, I probably would have either waited for the next bus or gone and bought a ticket for the train instead depending on how much of a rush I was in. I live in Wales where you have to pay for carrier bags, so all my shopping tended to get slung under the pram without bags (in fact, been out with DP & DD in the tank this morning to get supplies from the supermarket a mile across town and got back with nearly £60 of shopping using only the tank basket and one medium sized jute shopping bag - surely better than taking the car over and risking losing the parking space in our street?).

As I've tried to explain earlier, both myself and the couple were in forward facing rigid seats, so if the gentleman did have a problem with his back, the only difference was the side of the bus they were sitting on, not the type of seat.

Even if it had been possible for me to operate the 2 handed twist and fold system while carrying DD, I'm not sure how I would have been able to pick it up and put it in the luggage rack which it about 3ft off the ground even without the shopping.

I've admitted to being a bit PFB - I think it's hard not to be when your only child spends the start of their life in NICU/SCBU because they nearly died. When she started crying before getting onto the dual carriageway, I wasn't exactly having fun having to crouch down in the aisle to calm her trying not to be run over with the pram as the bus bounced along the road...

Look, you chose to use a pram that you couldn't fold despite having a fold up one. Any problems that arise from that are a bit "tough luck". If you were that bothered about the brakes or safety or dd being able to see you, you could have got off the bus and waited for the next or got the train when the people declined to move (like you said you would if it was filled with a wheelchair). I've left a bus before a few stops into the route because the driver was driving like a maniac and I was worried about dd in her buggy. You chose to stay on though so its a bit daft to complain about how you had to crouch or how it wasn't fun.

Oh yes...sorry I did forget about the world-must-revolve-around-you-and-your-personal-circumstances thing.
Please accept my apologies and have my seat at once...that pram looks bulky - you're going to need more room. Shall I fan you with my paper as we travel?

Pictish

Yes...I did two years with a double buggy - there are only 14 months between my younger two.
Horrendous really, but again, I did my best to be flexible. Hanging onto the handle and blocking it with my foot when the break was difficult to operate was run of the mill.

Perhaps the elderly man had just sat down & didn't want to get up again with his poorly back

As I said - in my book, getting on at all without folding down is a result.

Sorry your daughter was in NICU for so were loads of others & it doesn't have anything to do with having a manageable pushchair on a bus

I hate getting on buses even with my Maclaren. I had something similar the other week that I got stuck in the far less helpful 'parking' space and had to stand up holding on to the pushchair for grim life every time we went around the corner, all made more fun by DD suffering terrible travel sickness so I was waiting for her to throw up everywhere. There were a lots of old people sitting in the fold-down seats which meant I had to cram me and the pushchair into an impracticable space. Interestingly, on those buses they are actually marked purely as pushchair bays - I can only assume the bus doesn't have a ramp that drops so isn't a wheelchair accessible bus.

YWNBU to ask to swap, but they WBU to not move, as you were already in a bay.

YWNBU to ask them, but TWNBU to refuse.

When DS was born, I was bloody grateful if a bus with any buggy spaces turned up!

More than once I had to hold DS (prem, SCBU), fold down the travel system (I got one with one handed-folding) and then get them both on the bus. I usually asked someone to help get the travel system into the luggage rack

The travel system was soon abandoned for a stroller

It's difficult travelling on a bus with children but I don't think you should have expected an elderly person to move. Your difficulties using buses will end in a few years whereas theirs are likely to get worse.

I must admit, I am a little inclined to side with older folk who see you getting on the bus with a pram or pushchair that you don't need to fold and who think you're lucky. "In my day", under 20 years ago, you had to fold the pushchair to get on a bus and you couldn't take a non-folding pram on a bus. If I had shopping, I knew I had to be able to carry a baby/child, shopping and a pushchair when getting on/off the bus. I think it's great that people can now push the pushchair on and not have to fold it and I wish that had been possible when I had my ds (I didn't have a car). I don't resent people having that option now. But it sometimes feels like whatever is offered, people want more.

The shopping you bought today and put in 1 medium shopping bag and under the pram could surely have been carried if necessary, considering that there were 2 adults and it's only a mile. Using the pram luggage section just meant you were pushing the weight instead of lifting it. So it's not a case of either you have a gigantic pram with luggage space or you go by car.

Rather off tangent but this has reminded me of the time when I was on the bus coming back to park & ride with my 20 month old in a stroller & 7 months pregnant. The bus had two buggy/wheelchair spaces which I was sharing with a child in a small wheelchair.

A dad got on and had the cheek to ask me to fold so he & his wife wouldn't have to wake their sleeping baby (looked about 6 months) I declined

You need one of these for the shopping:

www.amazon.co.uk/PMS-LIGHTWEIGHT-NYLON-FOLD-AWAY-BACKPACK/dp/B003ZIARJS#productDescription

I wouldn't take a travel system on a bus. I used a sling until 9 months and then a stroller. Then I gave up the stroller altogether and just carried DS2.

Yanbu some elderly people think they own the bus
(and the blue badge spaces, despite not actually having a blue badge)