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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Posting possible baby names on Facebook

18 replies

Aykarralyu · 08/06/2013 08:19

We are having our first child (in Nov) and considering some names. Some are braver than others - like Stanley - and my partner wants to post this on Facebook to see what the reaction is.

I'm really against this, but can't really explain why. I post lots of personal details on Facebook, so why shouldn't we? But it just feels wrong.

AIBU to dismiss this when I can't say why not?

OP posts:

BrokenBanana · 08/06/2013 08:23

I understand what you mean, not sure if there's a word for it.

Personally I wouldn't post the names and just decide for yourself when the baby arrives. We asked a few people their opinions on our chosen names, got mixed reactions. In the end it didn't matter, we chose a name that we were both happy with and to hell with anyone else's opinion.

HollyBerryBush · 08/06/2013 08:42

Every one will have opinions on names - even innocuous ones like Jane or John. People will deem them too old fashioned, or want to vary the spelling, or anecdotal stories about 'plain Jane' etc.

I think you run the risk of a whole load of not very nice comments, especially if you are considering 'out there' names.

Baby naming is one of those quite emotive subjects.

trianglesaregood · 08/06/2013 08:45

YANBU. There's something a bit personal about choosing a name and you don't necessarily want the the whole discussion plastered over Facebook. Someone is bound to make a snarky comment about a name you end up going with and it's there on Facebook for all to see for ever.

Bejeena · 08/06/2013 08:51

Hell no, we are not discussing our names with anyone not even our close family the name will be announced on birth!

Saying that we also haven't even posted on Facebook that I am pregnant and I am 30 weeks, I just don't want my business broadcasted. I don't think people would be that interested anyway. That might just be me though

BelleEtLaBaby · 08/06/2013 08:55

Try the baby names threads on here. I won't tell anyone what we're planning for DS2. People have opinions and someone will always say 'ooh that's very... Middle class' or 'I knew a XXX at school and he was a right tosser'. Don't tell, just work it out between you. Once he's born, people will love it.

Also: Shh don't tell but DS2's name is going to be Stanley. You have excellent taste :)

TroublesomeEx · 08/06/2013 08:58

I don't think I'd canvas opinion on something as important as my baby's name on Facebook!

Besides, whatever name you choose, some people will love it and some will hate it. It's your opinion that counts and no one else deserves a say in it.

I can't really see what the benefits of this would be.

Daft idea IMO!

BlackholesAndRevelations · 08/06/2013 09:01

YANBU. Don't do it! You'll get unwelcome comments that'll just upset you. Fwiw I know some very cool young stanleys!

OddSockMonster · 08/06/2013 09:05

There's no way we would have broadcast possible names - didn't even tell our parents!

People will come up with a reason to discount every name you find "oh I was going to use that name", "my ex was called that, he was a right idiot", etc.

And at the end of it all, it's a very personal choice, it's for you two to make, not something you need approval from friends to do.

OddSockMonster · 08/06/2013 09:06

Congratulations btw - I like Stanley. It was on my shortlist (Dh wasn't so keen) but the shortlist went out the window anyway when DS1 was born and we went for something completely different.

MrsMook · 08/06/2013 09:12

Keep them to yourselves. People are less likely to make a daft comment when the baby is named. It would be a shame for someone to put a dampner on your favourite name.

It's also nice to hear what a baby is called when they arrive- it's a complete and real person then. To know what a baby is going to be or may be called in advance is a bit more abstract to other people.

Posting anonymously online is a much better idea.

Mawgatron · 08/06/2013 09:17

Don't tell. Ds1 is due a week from tomorrow and dh and I have had a boy's name we like ready for years (when getting preg was not even on the cards). We stupidly told people and EVERYONE has an opinion on it, generally negative. 'Thats a dogs name' 'it sounds like a soup' 'what about xxxxxxx, that sounds better' - fuck off everyone!
Next time we are keeping schtum, that way if people don't like it they can quietly slag it off behind our backs...

HollyBerryBush · 08/06/2013 09:19

'it sounds like a soup'

What was it? mulligatawny/

Beckett3 · 08/06/2013 09:29

'it sounds like a soup'

What was it? mulligatawny/

I'm guessing Campbell?

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 08/06/2013 09:34

Lord, no.

DS would never have been called his name if we'd asked people's opinions. It is a very rarely used (now) and very marmite. A lot of people plain hate it and you can see their lip curling when I say it. But it is a perfect name for him and I love it and have many strong reasons why he's called it.

If you go for public opinion you'll end up playing it very safe and doubting your tastes.

NinjaNotGeisha · 08/06/2013 09:52

You needn't feel 'brave' to use the name Stanley - it has become very popular at the moment.

But you would need a load of bravery to post your names list on FB! It would be a sure way to ruin every single one of your choices and leave you feeling more confused.

We kept our names absoutely secret - definitely did not want other people's opinions.

Original poster

Aykarralyu · 08/06/2013 10:07

Brilliant response all, thank you very much :o) Also grateful to those who supported Stanley (especially BelleEtLaBaby!!)

OP posts:

EagleRiderDirk · 08/06/2013 10:11

DD would never have had her name if we posted it and asked people's opinions. But its a lovely name and really suits her. I've had a few comments from people that they wouldn't have chosen it, but those are the same ones oblivious to the fact that other people wouldn't have chosen their kids names. I have my own pet hates about names that just aren't shared with others so I wouldn't expect a good reaction to anything. You'll be just as likely to get similar negative comments to something like Stanley as you would to calling a kid Chlamydia!

rainbowslollipops · 08/06/2013 10:48

I think if you post on there now you're possibly likely to have the next few months of people disagreeing or suggesting their own personal choices. I always think it's nice to leave the name on facebook until baby is here. That's what my friend did. She kept it between her & her partner until baby was born. By that point people didnt have the heart let alone disrespect to try and suggest other names.

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