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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To this is shocking even for Facebook?

13 replies

SuckingLemons · 07/06/2013 18:41

A friend of mine died a couple of days ago. I didn't attend the funeral as he lived overseas and it was a Muslim burial and simply could not make it due to timescale. He was buried today and someone has posted pictures on Facebook of the actual burial and even tagged the poor sole in it and people have 'liked' it. AIBU to find this offence?

OP posts:

sonu678 · 07/06/2013 18:42

I think its offensive. But ive noticed a lot of muslim cultures do things that I find offensive with my british sensibilities... oh, and im muslim too.

MintyChops · 07/06/2013 18:44

That's weird, YANBU

Original poster

SuckingLemons · 07/06/2013 18:49

Just to add although it was a Muslim burial my friend was not Muslim and the photos were posted by an expat. All the expats were in inappropriate clothing, this is not in anyway a race/culture thread but I am upset that my friend had his final farewell plastered all over Facebook

OP posts:

OHforDUCKScake · 07/06/2013 18:51

Fuck me thats terrible.
So distasteful.

Hassled · 07/06/2013 18:55

I suppose it's only offensive if his close family would find it so. Or if you think the friend (and I'm sorry for your loss) would have had a problem with it.

The last couple of funerals I've been to I've thought how much (ironically) the deceased would have loved the catch-up with old friends and family. It's a gathering for the person who would have loved it the most. On that basis the photos are sort of fine, but I can see why you're a iffy about it.

Original poster

SuckingLemons · 07/06/2013 19:12

Sorry for the typo. *soul.

OP posts:

Mandy2003 · 07/06/2013 20:34

Years ago I lost several friends who were bikers. Civilians would view the way we did funerals as distasteful but that is what the deceased would have wanted and it meant a lot to everyone who knew them.

Oh yes, videos were made and distributed too. This was long before FB so I'm not sure I know what a like means under those circumstances but if it is a way of showing that you approve of what's shown, well, why not?

Rhubarbcrumblewithcustard · 07/06/2013 20:44

Hmmm yeah I find this a bit odd. Tagging a deceased person on Facebook really doesn't seem right.

ecclesvet · 07/06/2013 20:44

Depends who posted the pictures imo. Family = weird but if that's what they want then OK, friends = disrespectful

Sleep404 · 07/06/2013 20:44

Depends on your culture. I've been to many funerals which were a celebration of the persons life. Yes there were tears and solemnity but there was also laughter, family and friends catching up and even dancing.
Some were filmed although I'm yet to see any films on Facebook I have seen family pictures of funerals and not thought any were disrespectful.

BridgetBidet · 07/06/2013 20:51

Yeah, I have African friends on facebook and they quite often post pictures of recently deceased people in their coffins as a kind of RIP thing and it seems the accepted thing to do.

HollyBerryBush · 07/06/2013 20:55

Why is it FB shocking? its not FB that is posting to offend you sensibilities.

And no, it is common in lots of cultures to remember the ceremony.

GreenShadow · 07/06/2013 20:55

No, I wouldn't find it offensive, but can understand why many Brits would.

If his family are happy with this kind of thing, then I don't see a problem.

You presumably weren't the only one not to be able to make the funeral, so this allows those absent mourners to feel a little closer to what went on.

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