Im going on holiday, its making me feel sad. AIBU.

[Thelastflipflop]

I am.

Im a lone parent, ive been doing holidays on my own with my DD for years. We are only camping for 3 nights as its all i can afford, but we are still getting away, DD will have a lovely time. Im sure i will too.

But its just, all the work before hand, its all me. All the work afterwards, its all me ( and camping requires a lot of work). When DD is in bed, ill just be sat, on my own, so ill probably just go to bed.

Everyear i hope the next year might be different, and i might have met someone to come with me ( i dont even care about what the holiday is) but just so its not just me. on my own.

Its rubbish and i just almost feel like i wish i wasnt going.

Do you not have other friends who you could invite along too?

Or are there not other families at the camp site who you chat to and make friends with?

Not this time, no. We were meant to be going as a group, but it all fell though.

Im sure i might chat to other people when im there, its not in any way the same though, is it.

Camping is VERY hard when you are in a partnership. Let alone doing it on your jack jones.

You have every respect from me.

Camping with kids is painful from my experience.
I dont blame you for being sad, but it will happen at some point.

Id be tempted to go every other year and spend more by using a static or going to Butlins. But then I hate camping with kids (or specifically babies/toddlers).

Its not even the camping, im not scared of hard work, we both like it.
Its all i can afford and if its that or nothing, ill aways chose that.
We will enjoy it.

But it is bloody hard work. and im just sad, that its just me. again. for another year. Its the 5th year of summers on my own.

I need to get people to come help me put the roof rack on, and lift the tent in, because i cant even lift it on my own. Urgh, its just so bloody crap.

Could you organise something on here - some sort of single-parents camping holiday thing? I bet you're not the only one who feels this way.

Good on you for making the effort to give your DD a holiday every year. When she grows up she will remember these trips.

Could you buy a trashy novel to read in the evenings or download some new music to listen to? Not the same as real adult company but if you're getting uninterrupted peace and quiet it seems a shame not to make the most of it.

Maybe see if anyone else will be there using this forum? www.ukcampsite.co.uk/chatter/display_forum_topics.asp?ForumID=30

Or here: www.gingerbread.org.uk/forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=3782

Or netmums (eek!) www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/advice-support-40/single-parents-support-45/587875-any-single-mums-dads-up-camping-holiday.html

Or on here.

I bet you can find someone else in the same boat who would like to come and join you between now and then.

Oh look there's already a thread on here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/a1761852-Anyone-fancy-a-single-parents-camping-trip

Book, wine, deckchair for the evenings. Bliss

how old is your dd? if she's a little older you could stay up while it's light and make like a girly sleepover, put the radio on, have chocolate and pop and crisps, sit out and play a game like a card game or top trumps

yeah, we will do stuff like that.

time on my own isnt a novelty, its same old, i have it every evening for the last 5 years... the shine has somewhat worn off.

My DSIL camped on her own with her three DC all under 10 whilst she was single. She came near the house we had rented for a holiday. We went and helped her set up and pack up. Much respect to you if you are doing that on your own as it was hard even with three adults. Whilst we were on holidays we swapped various of her DC for our DC so our children got a go at camping and her DC got nights in normal beds, the opportunity to have a bath rather than use shower blocks at the campsite etc.

DSIL joined a club to do an outdoor activity that we had done on the holiday when she got home. It was one her children could do too. She wasn't looking but she met her new partner there - he is much better for her than her ex and fabulous with her children.

So four things...
you really are fully entitled to feel sad - it is hard being on your own
try to find a non romantic way to holiday in a group and it might be easier
you will meet someone when you least expect it
what a fantastic mum you are to keep giving your daughter such lovely experiences and memories

That is probably one of the loveliest things anyone has said to me :)

thank you very much for that.

I am doing it all on my own. My tent is massive, its 4 person assembly, im sure its impossible to do on my own, im hoping the campsite manager will take pity on me. Of course thats not the end to the work. but i can do the rest.

Ive brought a ton of glow sticks and adaptors, we can make them into hats and glassses and run through the woods. We can have a campfire and roast marshmallows, we can bbq and drink hot chocolate when it gets cold. and eat bisuits in bed for breakfast. Ill still feel sad.

Ill just hope i run into bear grylis in the woods...

Sounds something is telling you that you are gently getting ready to meet someone... My mum has been on her own for 27 years (my father left before I was born) and she put me and her job before her needs my whole life. I have wonderful memories (of camping :-) among others! your daughter will love it) but when I became older I began to feel guilty that she had given up on nearly all her relationships for me. I know it was her decision but it doesn't change the feeling... I don't know your story, but I think these join-up with other single parents hols may be a gentle step forward to building some connections to counter your loneliness in the future - perhaps next year?

Also - re the tent -yes 4 man are a pain but the joy of camping is that everyone mucks in and I bet a temporary neighbour will pitch in to help (pun only slightly intended...) also- 3 days will whizz by if you have some good games and good books... And if it rains then its time for a trip to the cinema if you are near one. And ghost stories in the tent if you're not!

Ps bear Grylls is gorgeous. I'd build a tent with him any time....

Oh, ive been ready for a long time, ive done a ton of dating but havent got anywhere.

Im not generally lonely, i have friends and family, its just its not the same.

YANBU to feel like that and camping with you sounds lovely - glow sticks and marshmallows, we don't go for another month but I'd come and befriend you your ideas sounds fab

I literally cannot remember the amount of years I was without a boyfriend before meeting DH. Everyone was always with somebody and I thought I would never meet the right person for me - just 3rd bests (iykwim). When I did meet him it was in Australia one week before he returned to the UK, so very unexpected!

Enjoy your holiday and the sunshine, it will happen.

I understand and sympathise, as I am 'in the same boat'.

DD and I do lots of lovely things together, but when it comes time to do things families normally do together (holidays, Christmas Eve/Morn, birthdays etc) there is definitely an undercurrent of .... something wistful. Like you, I still make the effort and am always glad I did.

I have nothing to suggest that might be helpful - just wanted to say you are not alone with your feelings.

Yanbu
I hope you get lots of help from kind and handsome men with your erections and that you have a lovely holiday with your dd.
You sound lovely.
I hope the weather stays nice for you.