To be totally stressing out about taking 19 month old to a wedding

[Mondayschild78]

I probably am BU but I am feeling increasingly nervous about taking my active toddler DS to a friend's wedding on Saturday. It will be the first one we've taken him to.

Will I spend most of my time outside the church with him? Missing the speeches? How do I keep him entertained? I'm probably feeling more anxious than I normally would as I'm 16 weeks pregnant too.

Does anyone have any good survival tips for the day?

Ds1 who is 2 was pageboy at a friends wedding a couple of weeks ago. Mil had a bag of Cheerios and I propped my iPhone (on silent) on the pew with an episode of Mickeys mouse on. He was transfixed.

He did do his best dinosaur impression in the middle of 'all things bright and beautiful' though - but not in a way that spoiled it and both bride and groom dote on him and were giggling. He also at one point shouted 'that's my daddy!!' when he clocked dh at the front on best man duty. But otherwise he was pretty ok. Mil did spend a lot of the meal outside the marquee with him but there were five or six kids there around his age ish, and the parents took turns supervising them all at once so everyone could eat and see more of the speeches. It was nice, very sweet, and was a great icebreaker.

Lolly- great idea. Likewise things wrapped up and new toys. You just sort of work around it and if people have invited small children they should kind of know what to expect... :)

Take bag of favourite toys. Cars for the table. Also colouring books etc for table. Play eye spy etc all day.

Stop stressing. He will feed off ur nerves. Seriously, calm down and it will just be fine :)

Took our dd to wedding at 18mths thought would've hell but we loved it.

DS went to 3 weddings last year between 15mths and 2yrs. They all went pretty well.

First was my brother's so I sat up the front and DS/ DH were at the back. I think DH missed a fair bit, not helped by the start of the ceremony being delayed for over half an hour. The venue was all indoors, but there was plenty of space for him to crawl and cousins to tag along after. In the evening he half dozed in the pushchair quietly enough.

Second, DH and I were best man and bridesmaid. He stayed with DH until we arrived for the ceremony, and was up the front with us. No problems- we were packed into a bandstand so no temptation for walking! Friends would have taken him if he'd got noisey. The reception was very child friendly- bouncy castle, lots of outdoor space... DH was ill and went to bed after his speech. I was 6wks pg and rather queasy and was very happy to have him entertained by other children there that he's met. I sent DS to bed with DH when he got sleepy.

Wedding 3, registry office late in the day. Fine during the ceremony although he did squawk at "any just cause or lawful impediment..." Reception was private hire of a restaurant so he was free to roam, and there were other children there again.

It helps that he likes his food so is very focused during meals! Toys, nibbles and giving them chance to burn energy all helps. I think DS being quite flexible about routines helps us. Doing what you can to work around hunger and naps helps keep them in the best mood possible.

DS is a great church explorer, and churches tend to prefer a quiet wandering toddler to a frustrated restrained one.

I do think the vows and the speeches are the most important bits to not have a screechy child involved in. Not great when watching the video back.

YANBU. I have active DC's. The last wedding i went to, I took DD who was 3.5yo, and left DS who was just over 2 as he's a handful and i knew all i would be doing is running around after him and missing the ceremony and speeches and dinner. Even with 3.5yo DD I had to check times for wedding breakfast and then book a cab for 8pm cos i knew there would be massive meltdown if i kept her there any longer.

I was at a wedding last week with my 15 month old, for the service he sat fine eating his fruit salad that I had made for him. He slept during the photo part, which looking back now I wish I'd kept him awake so he would've slept thru the meal !

Meal time was abit hectic, no high chair so was on a proper seat surrounded by a million glasses! He ate his starter then DH took him outside so I could eat mine. He got plonked in his buggy for the main as it was food he could hold and feed himself. Jeez it was hard work tho ! After the meal he basically just ran around mad, but by then cousins/other kids were happy to chase around after him

I was very relieved to get out of going to a wedding recently (DPs ex colleague who I had never met), because I had no child care for 9 mo DS. At the last minute they insisted I came and brought DS along!! I was gutted and dreading it, DP delighted. DP spent entire day mingling, chatting, drinking, showing off DS etc...I missed the service as DS got very vocal and we had to duck out, missed canapés/drinks as was changing then feeding, main course eaten cold as I rocked him to sleep in buggy (DP did his turn rocking during the cold starter - well done DP!!), missed the speeches as the first clap woke DS...they had very kindly organised a babysitter for the 3 or 4 babies, but the room was a 20 min trek across a huge hotel/conf centre and when I arrived the nanny advised there was no mobile reception in the room. Needless to say, DS was asleep in travel cot by 9pm and me in bed with dessert and a large glass of wine, headphones in on the iPad. Really would have preferred to be at home.

What miffed me the most? I realised next day I hadn't got to enjoy looking at all the ladies shoes and dresses!!!

We have to take DS to a wedding up north with us in a few weeks. I'm not really looking fwd to it but managing my expectations and have insisted on a smart hotel with good room service.

GOOD LUCK OP!