To need some help not worrying about this?

[SgtTJCalhoun]

My ds's GP's want to take him away for a few days to another country (only a few hours away but still.....). He will love it and be so excited about going.

Thing is he has ASD and I just worry horribly about him being away. His GP's are pretty understanding and make allowances for him, but not as much as me and tbh were pretty difficult and in denial for a few years resulting in some really serious meltdowns from ds. They say they understand now and I know they love him very much.

It will be ok wont it? I am actually about to cry with worry but I know I have to let him go away and have independence from me sometime don't I? He is 9 btw.

I don't get all this need and pressure for 'independence' in kids who aren't even teens.

If you are worried and you are not comfortable with it for your child, then DON'T DO IT!

I agree expat I really, really do. I am usually the first to say, it's your child so don't if you don't want to, said exactly that on a thread earlier today. Thing is he really wants to go. Jumped up and down with excitement when I suggested it to him.

If I say no it will be because of my worries and I don't know if they have foundation now, but in the past they were very unsympathetic and strict with him and he does not respond well to that. Just to say he has been away with them before but only overnight and not so far away.

Whilst in all likely hood it will be fine yanbu to worry.

Could you go too? Have they had him for a week or so before on their own?

Would you be able to do a weekend with him staying there before hand? A trial run for all of you?

And how well do you get on with them? Would it be an option to discuss your concerns with them, from the past experiences, that are making you anxious about this?

Yes I will definitely tell them my concerns, they think I am "difficult" anyway so I am not worried about winning any popularity contests.

He will only be gone for two nights so trial run not really feasible.

I wouldn't let either set of grandparents take my son on holiday at age nine, regardless of the aspergers. I think it's too young.

I think its ok to worry but be positive.

Its only 2 nights.

He wants to go.

They obviously love him and do have his best intentions at heart.

I'm sure you haven't always known what to do but you've overcome without anyone dying or the world ending.

Its good for them to have this relationship.

It might not be perfect, most people i know have a few issues on family holidays but overall the experience is good, as long as you allow for a bit of things going wrong a good time should be had by all.

*interests

Is there a particular reason why you have crowbarred this into an AIBU? Why not just say "I need some help to not worry about this"?

It's good that you are being positive and saying that you know the problem is that you are worrying, and you want to not worry rather than saying that you don't think it should happen.

How old is your child?

Due to the fact my ds's were never invited away without us and never spent their early years away from us I find this granny need for sole responsibility a bit weird.

I have a fab mil but she never sought time with the boys alone and neither did my mother. I find it a bit odd that they don't want parents there.

Why is it odd?

He will be fine. It will be hard work for the GPs but it is for you all the time. Even if it isn't perfect you will get a well deserved rest. Let them go - it might all be just fine and they might do it again and next time you will really enjoy it x

Why not invite the family?

Trills look at the posts in AIBU , someone is asking if AIBU to eat a second belgian bun.

It's not helpful to suggest this OP shouldn't be posting here, she is asking an AIBU question

Why invite just the child, invite the parents too, isn't thatmore sociable.

My other child is in school, that's why we can't go. DS is home educated.

I think its normal to go away with grandparents and not parents. Not just on holidays but days out, trips to do things.

My DC spend 3 weeks away with ILs and a week with my parents every year. Its good for them, strengthens that bond, gives mum and dad a break.

Fun is had by all. Its not like they're strangers.

I agree with expat too. Your child and if you are uncomfortable then you are entitled to say no. Esp with ASD. Maybe try a joint weekend away during the school hols so that you can all go ?

Wow, my mil has never suggested doing anything with mine...she only ever sees them when we take them over or invite her round. Tried inviting her on a family day out, it was a disaster. Anyway..I have a friend with a far more normal family and I know her 9 yr old goes away for little breaks with his grand parents. Would love grandparents who wanted to spend time with mine.