To not want my DD to sleep over night at her grandparents?

[elvislives2012]

Had my first baby last year and am going back to work soon. My parents are going to come down and stay overnight with us one day a week to look after DD, DD will then go to nursery one day a week and then my in laws have said they would look after her another day. The rest of the time my DH&I will be looking after her.
My DH (and his mum has offered too) thinks that she should stay overnight every week at his mum and dads house as it gives them more quality time with her. I think that's too much.
Background info: my DN originally stayed with them overnight when my sister in law went back to work, but now stays there twice, or often three times a week. I'm keen for this not to happen.
I've suggested she stays over once a month if they want her for the evening and morning too. A compromise I thought but my DH thinks I'm bring a bit PFB. Who's right?
I am really lucky and very grateful to both sets of grandparents to be helping us out like this and I know a lot don't have this opportunity!

Have you pointed out that since DD was born you have been together almost constantly and that being away from her for three full days while you're at work will be a big adjustment for you.

Give yourself some time to get used to being back at work first. After a while your once a month suggestion seems a good compromise and starting point.

There's no need to make all the changes at once.

I think it depends how far they have to travel to look after your DD on their day, presumably at your house? I'm sorry if I've missed that. I'm assuming they want her ON the night before they look after her? If they have to get up at 6 for example to get to your house on time, then I have to say YABU. If they live round the corner, then YANBU. As you have yourself detailed, they are doing you a favour, and I think you should try to accomodate their wishes, if it's possible.

She's only a year old? I think it's great that they are helping, but I would find it really strange to be expected to leave my baby overnight at my PILs once a week, and I wouldn't want to. It's not as if she can get a fun adventure out of it yet, the way she might when she's older, so it's just for them -- and if they will have her all day once a week then that's a lot. I would say let's see about it when she's old enough to enjoy it, and until then the occasional overnight babysitting opportunity will surely come up.

I love the idea if her forming string bonds with her GPs but find it difficult to see how an overnight stat would do this. Will do the o ex a month thing and maybe review at Xmas. U never know I may be desperate to do it then!

if it were me I would go and stay at in laws with dd.

I stay at my mum's with my ds and it works fine - it isn't a weekly thing though.

but feasibly you could do once a month they stay with you and once a month you and dd (and sh if necessary) stay over with them - they get time overnight and you get to be with dd.