Well this is my first thread on MN! I think I'm probably being unreasonable but would love some opinions.
Basically my friend from university, who is a couple of years younger than me, is about to finish her post grad in music and has her final ever recital (it's important - the grade she gets heavily counts towards her overall mark) coming up at the end of the month. When we lived in Birmingham I always went to her performances to support her and I genuinely enjoy them, so when she mentioned it I promised I would be there. However she's just told me she's booked the recital to be at 6pm on a Tuesday evening, and texted to say "Can you take the day off work to come?"
I finish work at 5.30pm, but I could take the afternoon off. It wouldn't be the worst thing, other than I've already booked off a chunk of holiday in that same fortnight and I'm concerned my manager will think I'm taking the mick (I'm quite new).
My main issue is that the recital in London, so I would need to pay to leave my car in the car park where I work for the evening, walk or get a taxi to the train station, then pay for a ticket and navigate London on my own (I know for this part of my stressing IABU, I live a pretty sheltered life and have never gone into London and gone on tubes etc by myself. I know lots of people do it every day perfectly well, I'm just irrationally nervous about it lol). I don't think she could come and meet me somewhere easy to get to in LDN as she will be rehearsing for the recital and getting prepared etc. I will have to leave at about 3pm to avoid the rush hour on the train so would be killing time in London on my own for several hours (it takes about 35 mins max to get to London from where I work).
The slightly frustrating part too is that the recital will then be over by 7.30pm and my friend has to go back to Norwich and I have work the next day, so we'd only get to spend an hour or two before we'd need to get going. I will have taken time off work, spent quite a lot of money and made a stressful journey, just to see her for two or three hours, although I know she would be grateful for my going. I am certain that if I were to say I couldn't go she would be very angry/upset with me.
I don't know -- Hubby says I am being mean and that I should just go, but I feel like I give a lot to our friendship in general and don't get much support back. For our wedding day two months ago, I made her chief bridesmaid (but someone organised the hen do as it got to February and she still hadn't planned anything), bought her shoes and jewellery because she couldn't afford it despite asking the other girls to pay for theirs, paid her travel to get there and gave her a gift to say thankyou on the day etc... She didn't even give us a card to congratulate us or even send me a message after the big day to say she enjoyed herself. Maybe I am still smarting from that a little bit, I don't know.
AIBU to pretend that my boss has said I can't have the afternoon off? Thank you for taking the time to read and sorry for waffling lol :)