My mother has dementia. After several falls at home, a broken limb and six weeks in hospital I have found a lovely care home where she is safe and happy. She is a constant wanderer and it really was too much for my Dad, or any one person.
Last night he rang up raging because he had received a bill for her care which is basically my Mum's state pension. It's a contribution only, as the actual costs are around £400. He is already very resentful that her attendance allowance was stopped and that his income was too high for him to receive carers allowance. I have told him that for some people, that £59.75 per week is their only income, perhaps he would like to swap but...
Basically, he wants her pension to sit in the bank building up while the state pays for Mum's food, shelter, heating, lighting, care, cleaning and cooking. It isn't even his money, yet he's talking about, "I'm forking out for..."
This is because my Mum earned that money and he should get to keep it all.
I have tried to explain that N.I contributions pay for NHS use amongst other things and was told, "but we paid for all our prescriptions as working people"
He has two additional private pensions of his own. Before my mum was hospitalised, there was enough coming in that her pension could remain in the bank untouched. Surely that should tell him that he isn't poor?
But now he has decided that he is "just going to claim benefits like everyone else then"
I'm not sure which ones he thinks he will be able to get 
and he was and is a benefit basher of the worst kind!
How can someone come to be in their seventies and have no idea how things like this work?