To find this just unbelievably cheeky?

[emsyj]

Sorry, yet another wedding invitation thread (must be the season...)

We have just received an evening only invite to DH's friend's wedding which contains - a request for 'monetary gifts'!!! I thought these were a Mumsnet Myth, so I was briefly quite excited when I saw it...

The couple in question were invited to the whole day of our wedding (we didn't have evening-only guests) and they formally accepted, then only one of them turned up on the day. No apology - just, 'Oh yeah, A had to work' . Rather rude... Had we known A wasn't coming, we needn't have paid for all her food and drink for the day... No gift or card on the day - they left a home made card in our porch whilst we were on honeymoon. Fair enough - we didn't get married for the gifts and we aren't in need for anything. But it is rather galling to then receive a demand for cash when it's their turn...

Sorry to go over a subject that has been done so much on here recently - but this just did strike me as being particularly cheeky. It is also rather odd, given that DH's friend has been talking about the forthcoming wedding for some time and mentioned that we would be invited on at least 3 separate occasions. Plus they sent us a 'Save the Date' - is that usual for an evening invite?

So AIBU to find it cheeky and to just ignore the invite, not buy a gift (normally I would send a gift and card for a wedding that I couldn't attend) and spend a few moments huffing and hoiking my bosom at the rudeness of it all?

I think 'oh we've been invited to a wedding, how lovely' stopped being the reaction at around the same time that couples started thinking that their guests owed them something in return. It used to be that guests gave a gift and it was actually appreciated. Quite often that gift would have been cash, but that was by the choice of the gift giver, not because it was asked for.

I don't mind evening only invites (although I didn't have an evening do myself). I think its perfectly logical that there might be different 'levels' of guests at a wedding. I had no idea that they offended people until I read it on mumsnet. But two or three hours of Rock the Boat, Do the Conga, and the Birdie Song with elderly relatives, followed by a few vol au vents does not mean that I should in return contribute to a fortnight in the Maldives.

I'm not sure why some folk are confused about the 'rude to turn up thing' - I've re-read my OP and it seems clear enough to me. But to set it out again, they were invited to our wedding as a couple. They accepted as a couple. Then only one of them turned up on the day - the other didn't come, didn't say she wasn't coming and there was no apology from him for her absence. So we paid for all her food and drinks on the basis of her acceptance then she didn't show on the day.

Couldn't agree more with treaclesoda - much more elegantly and succinctly put than I could manage!