AIBU to not have the confidence for this?

[GrottlesofGrog]

I've never posted before but I'm a serial lurker! Bit of a wishy washy problem but I think I need a good kick up the butt, sorry for the essay.

My OH and I were planning to go out for drinks with a few friends this weekend, only now plans have changed slightly and the evening will still involve a drink with his friend (who I've not met before) but also going to see a few girls he works with. He works in sport and his job means a lot to him.

Now I'm not really a jealous type or anything but these girls are all tall, blonde, slim, athletic goddesses and well...I'm not. I'm more the short, dumpy, bespectacled type etc. I've no doubt they are lovely girls but I know being around them will make me feel utterly crap, especially since my OH is a very magnetic person and they will be all over him all evening. (Everyone usually is because he's just one of those people!)

Problem is that he takes things like a shared interest in each others work/hobbies very seriously and although I'd love to go with him and show an interest, I know I just don't have the confidence to. I already agreed to go before the plans changed so do I suck it up and grin and bear it to show him some support or do I make a pathetic excuse and let him go have fun with his colleagues alone?

Get gone. Do NOT let other women who may be very lovely for all you know, stop you from living life to the full.

Your OH obviously loves and fancies you. Being happy, confident and open is FAR more attractive than being leggy and blonde...unless of course you happen to be leggy, blonde, happy and confident too!

I too fit the short, dumpy, bespectacled description, so I know exactly how you feel.

Just remember, YOU are the one he goes home to every night. So you're obviously more attractive and sexy to him than they are. And you taking an interest and being there with him will make you even more attractive to him.

Put on the togs you feel best in, put on your best smile and remember that you ARE a goddess!!

You have to go. Honestly, it will be fine. I'm sure you're exaggerating but even if you're not, you will forget about their blonde athleticness once you start chatting to them and you realise they're just normal people.

Otherwise you will be staying at home knowing that you didn't go out because you thought the other people there would be prettier than you. Do you want to do that?

You have to go, but if he is your OH, the person you trust and love the most in the world, then talk to him. You should be able to tell him exactly what you have said in your OP, and be able to benefit from his support.

You should go! I understand how you feel, but I also think it's important to face these things!

I have a tip! Wear a really eye catching accessory- a scarf, pretty earrings, great shoes or bag. That way people's attention will or could be drawn to it. I'm chubby and very self conscious but today wore a great long patterned scarf that covered my lumpy bits and made me feel confident. I've had lovely compliments about it and it's made me feel so much better.

It's just a way of deflecting attention from parts I feel less confident about but it works!

Please go and have a great time!

I knew I was being daft, thank you for making me see sense! I'm usually very outgoing but the idea of a place surrounded by uber fit & gorgeous athletes is my idea of hell! I know once I get there I'm sure it won't be as bad as I'm imagining. It would mean a lot to him if I made the effort so uncomfortable or not I will persevere.

Oh and thanks for the tip Psketti! x

I have a friend who's DH is a former pro athlete and now a fitness trainer, he.is.buff and she ... isn't, at all.
The first time she started going to work evenings with him, she'd be really nervous and one night blurted out 'but you must all think me really fat and plain' they were all shocked, because all they'd noticed was what a gorgeous, lovely, chatty girl she is ( and her DH adores her) which she really is ! Go along and have some fun !

Oh and go with what Psketti suggests, that has worked for me in the past too !

Go and have a lovely time making friends with OH's colleagues! They may be tall and leggy or whatever but they are people too. Dont be judgemental - theyre probably lovely. Ask them lots of questions, be warm and show an interest and have a laugh if you can. I disagree - try not to show OH how you're feeling, but tell him after, when you've all had a nice evening and he'll think you're brave and warm hearted and feel supported by you when he realises what an emotional effort you made, rather than him having to worry about you and look after you, which might arouse resentment. Manipulative, moi?

Not all gorgeous people have horrible judgemental personalities. They may well be lovely and I think your OH would not really like anyone who was anything other than nice to you tbh.