WIBU To put new fencing up to stop neighbours child coming into my garden

[rainbowslollipops]

He does it as soon as dd and I get home. He climbs through his playhouse into my garden and waits for dd. He can be there from as early as 8am. He can see into my kitchen and therefore knows who's home. He just invites himself into my garden. I wasn't bothered at first but now it's every single day anyone is here. It's becoming not only scary but a pain. Would I be unreasonable to take down my fencing and put new one up that goes around the hole he can get through? just so that in future if he wants to come over he can ask. He's been told by me not to come over every day because I.want to spend time with dd cause I work I don't see her every day. But it just went over his head.

What do you mean, you can't have your back door open? He's six!

You just keep taking him home until he and his parents get the message!

Why haven't you told his mum?

Yep take h

Him home, move the playhouse and put up the fence.

His mum doesn't notice he's gone most of the time. I've taken him back before and told her I can't have him over, she said ok then and lo and behold he's in my garden again. I don't understand why after I've explained he's got to stop doing it his mum thinks its ok.

You don't appear to be listening to anyone on the thread OP.

Organise getting your fence fixed. Tell neighbours you are getting fence fixed and playhouse needs moving.

After that he will have to come round via the front door at which point you can say yes it's convenient to play or no it's not.

And the reason he keeps coming back is probably because he has no boundaries/penalty from his mother for doing so. No-brainer.

YABU for being scared of a 6yo and locking doors to keep him out.

Sort out your property and problem solved.

Take him back every time then. Tell her. And put the playhouse back in their garden and fix the fence.

This is so easily sorted.

Just fix the bloody fence and tell him off if he appears again. Don't really understand why this is a problem

Tbh it surprises me that the parents aren't a little more strict on it, I'd be mortified if I felt like my child was irritating the neighbours. Obviously they don't realise it's bad form, bet they would if it were reversed though!

Only option in order to keep the peace is to fix the fence and get blinds for your kitchen so he doesn't know when you're home. He will then have to knock on your front door to come into your property. End of.

I am taking in what advice has been given. I just haven't done it straight away because I've been busy. I don't like telling other people's children off because it usually results in me being the bad cop. I'll fix the fence or try to at the weekend cause its my 2 days off

Why does it bother you if you are seen as the bad cop? Telling other people's kids off if they are misbehaving and their parent isn't around is just part of life when your kids are young. If he comes into the house when he's been told not to you get angry enough that he knows not to do it again and no means no. That's how kids learn.

I am taking in what advice has been given. I just haven't done it straight away because I've been busy. I don't like telling other people's children off because it usually results in me being the bad cop.

Really? So you'd let a six year-old walk all over you because you don't want to be the 'bad cop'??

So?

What happens of this kid gets injured in someway on your property?

You can bet your life who would be round your house screaming about it and saying it was your responsibility because it was your property.

This business of being the 'bad cop' seems ridiculous. You aren't a good guy, for not saying anything. You are a mug for putting up with things that are inconvenient, a nuisance or potentially downright risky.

You are an adult, and this kid sounds like they are running rings around you and the mother is taking you for a fool by shurking a lot of her own responsibilities.

Stand the hell up for yourself! You don't win friend by being the good guy; you just end up being taken advantage of. If this is about being popular, then I can assure you, that you do not want to be popular with a bunch of people who treat those around them with such a lack of consideration.

Stop being a walkover!

He's 6, you just take him by the hand , take him home and tell his mum you don't want him coming into your garden.

Board up the space between the gardens and stop worrying about being considered bad.

Take control!

Why is the play house in your garden in the first place ?

Tell the parents that you'd like for them to move the playhouse back onto their land as you'll be repairing the fence. Then erect a sturdy fence according to your borders on the deeds. Don't be a walkover - you've paid for the land, its yours so claim it otherwise you'll be creating a whole can of worms for when you want to sell at the price you want.

Whose playhouse is it ?

It's odd to explain. At the end of my fence is the side of his playhouse. It was like it when I moved in. I have no idea why it's like that or why there is no fence there.

If you can't sort the fence yet OP, why not just block the hole?

Do it, this sort of thing drives me nuts, gardens should be your sanctuary

Would something like this work?
www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/7203192.htm there are loads of types at DIY / gardening stores help. They can be unrolled then stapled or tacked on to existing posts and fences. It can be used as a cheap, quick fix.

Sorry, I'm being dense. I get that one side of the playhouse creates part of the boundary. Does it have a hole in it, or 2nd door into your garden? Or is there a gap around the back? Or is it a climbing structure rather than house. Sorry, trying to build a picture

I really don't understand why you'd lock your door rather than say to a six year old, 'Go HOME - back through the hole in the fence, and don't come into our garden unless we invite you. Now SCRAM!' Or similar. If he comes back, tell him again. And again.

He's six, he sounds lonely, and he needs to be told where the line is. You can't just expect him to know and quietly be annoyed with him.

And yes, fix the fence and the problem goes away.

Yanbu. He sounds very annoying.

so the side of the playhouse is in lieu of a fence panel ? Can you get some willow screening or trellis with a spiky plant (pyrocantha or roses) to fill that section in .

I once had a garden where the neighbours garden was fenced in due to previous owner having a dog. We both had kids who were desperate to play with each other and the neighbours child had to keep running round the fence to the gate if she wanted to join ds1 so we made a gate in the fence where it adjoined. The gardens were separate to the house , though, being on the other side of the driveway, so we weren't overlooked by the children (ours or theirs).
Something similar could be the reason for the placement of the playhouse, but now you've moved in and with a child that won't take no for an answer, it's fine to restore the original boundary fence.