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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be furious at dog walker?

65 replies

MakeTeaNotWar · 05/06/2013 17:27

DS is 8 months and teething. He hasn't napped well today, so exhausted and fractious, I load both him and 2 year old DD into the buggy for a walk around the block. He finally nods off and we are heading back home 10 minutes later when an approaching old lady lets her small dog run at DD who is petrified of them. I ask her to please call her dog back as DD is terrified and her screaming is waking DS. Old lady carries on talking over me, "oh he's a friendly doggie, loves children". DD is now practically wetting herself with fear and DS is woken. I am now back home with trembling toddler and screaming overtired baby.

AIBU to be incandescent with rage with people who let their dogs run at small children and buggies, terrorising them in the event even if they are supposed to be friendly dogs?

OP posts:
blueemerald · 05/06/2013 18:25

The OP read to as if they were in the street. A dog never needs to be off a lead in the street for it's own safety as well as anyone else's.

Original poster
MakeTeaNotWar · 05/06/2013 18:27

Yes it was in the street and the dog was running at DD, jumping into the buggy etc

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 05/06/2013 18:28

If it was in the street then YANBU. Dogs should be on leads on streets or near roads.

MammaTJ · 05/06/2013 18:29

YANBU. This happened with my 7 year old DD the other day. She is scared of dogs. We have one and she tolerates her, but is terrified of others. These two little ratty things came at her and she cowered away and started crying. The woman who was walking them said to DD 'It's ok, they won't hurt you'. I just snapped and said 'Whatever you say is not going to make her less afraid, control them'.

BeerTricksPotter · 05/06/2013 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 05/06/2013 18:57

YANBU.
I hate dogs running at ME, and they do it ALL THE TIME in the woods near my house.
While the owner just ignores it, until I ask them to please call the dog back, at which point they look disgusted and say something like "oh, he's just a pup".
Yes, well, mabye to you, but to me he is a 200 POUND SLAVERING FUCKING ROTTWEILER.
Jumping at me. And BARKING!!!!
We had a dog as a family. He was pretty big, and he was absolutely not allowed to run at strangers!.
Sometimes he did (norty) and then we would shout him back, in a very strict voice.
If you let your dog do that, you are a really bad dog owner.
The other thing that happens (the time that ds was scared as 7 dogs ran down a hill at him while the dog walker sat on a bench watching) is that, when I object, I am told "well, you are in the woods/fields/footpath. This is where people walk their dogs".
WTF? The countryside does not belong to dogs! If you can't train your dog properly, don't bloody have one.
And, yes, some children are scared of dogs. It's not a character flaw.
Actually, it may be that their instincts are spot on.
After all, the Staffy running at you is always "a total softy" according to it's owner.
Until it rips the baby's head off.

Did I mention that YANBU?

zipzap · 05/06/2013 19:12

Work out something to say now so next time it will come out quickly...

Maybe something like 'yes but my dd is terrified of all dogs and she is the one I am worried about, not your dog, so please stop it terrorising my dd or I will have to protect her'.

But yes, I would be furious too - because the old lady wasn't thinking about your dd only her dog and wasn't listening to you. Very thoughtless of her.

silverten · 05/06/2013 19:25

I'm fed up of this from out of control dogs. I've just bought a Dog Dazer. Can't wait to try it out.

Elquota · 05/06/2013 19:29

YANBU at all.

These people never apologise, they always make out it's the child's fault for being scared of a dog as big as themselves running at them, and bang on about how "friendly" the dog is Angry

BeerTricksPotter · 05/06/2013 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cathpip · 05/06/2013 19:49

My dd (2) is frightened of dogs, well some dogs. We have 2 black cockers, and we walk with lots of other dogs who also happen to be black or dark brown, she does not have a problem with these dogs, she absolutely adores them. However any dog that is not these colours she is terrified and clings like a limpit to me, other dog owners do find it very odd when you explain that in her eyes dogs are black/dark brown and everything else is just wrong and clearly not a dog!!

silverten · 05/06/2013 19:54

Yes I'm sure you do. Hmm

It won't be used unless I am bothered by an unrestrained dog who won't take the hint. I doubt that anyone would take a complaint against me at all seriously.

Do you even know what a Dog Dazer does, I wonder?

D0oinMeCleanin · 05/06/2013 19:57

If you ever see a white and brown terrier mix running in mad loops but generally ignoring you (and me) I would strongly advise not doing anything that would cause him severe distress or pain, Silverteen, because he will bite and then I will bite Smile

FFS why are these things even legal? It's a tragedy waiting to happen. Lets just hope the first victim has no children with them Sad

MousyMouse · 05/06/2013 19:57

yanbu
if I had a penny for every dog handlet who says "he's jut friendly" I would live in a mansion!

Madamecastafiore · 05/06/2013 20:00

The last should have done as you asked but you bending down to pet the dog in the way if it getting to dd would have been a far more sensible move. Stopping the dog getting to her and not reenforcing her fear but showing her dogs can be friendly.

Madamecastafiore · 05/06/2013 20:03

Sorry not last , lady.

MollyDoublyBarrely · 05/06/2013 20:05

YANBU

My DS is going through a big phase of running towards strange dogs and it petrifies me! I think if someone had let their dog come towards DS when i had explicitly asked them to call it back would have had me an angry wreck!

Madamecastafiore · 05/06/2013 20:07

Seriously stop your sin running towards dogs, they may be of a nervous disposition and it may scare them and then they may snap.

BrainzMeanzHeinz · 05/06/2013 20:08

Give the dog walker a big cuddle and start licking her face. It's Ok because you are just being friendly.

digerd · 05/06/2013 20:15

I have a very calm little dog but always have her on the lead. Some small children are afraid of dogs and I can tell if one is. My dog does not jump up, just stands there looking at them inquisitively. But I always move her on if the child is obviously distressed.
It is the considerate thing to do. You can't force a child or anyone to like dogs. And all dogs should be on the lead unless in a designated area.

D0oinMeCleanin · 05/06/2013 20:19

I have to say of Whippy sees a child running towards her, arms outstretched and a big grin on his face, I haven't got a cat in hells chance of getting her back. I might be able to get her to stop, she does know what stop means but if the child was calling "doggy" or similar to her again, not a chance in hell of getting her to stop. Given the choice of obeying me or a sweet child who may have biscuits and will give hugs and coo at her, she will pick the child every time.

I also agree with Madame, you need to make it clear to your son, that this is a very dangerous game. When DD2 went through this phase I showed her pictures of serious dog bites, extreme I know, but the child would run up to Akitas and Rotties and their ilk (I am demonstrating size not temperament here, there is nothing aggressive about these breeds), her having a few nightmares was nothing compared to what would have happened if she threw herself around the neck of the wrong dog.

My terrier tolerates children, he does not like them. Children launching themselves at him while he is enjoying a quiet walk does not help this matter. I usually body block the child and send them on their merry way with a bee in their ear about bothering strange dogs.

silverten · 05/06/2013 20:24

I assume this is your dog you're talking about, Doinmecleanin? The one you allow in public unrestrained knowing full well it'll ignore your command?

If I see a dog doing that sort of thing I won't be engaging with it, I'll be ignoring it and staying well away.

If it engages with me in an aggressive manner, I won't be pissing about with a Dog Dazer, I'll be either looking for a way to get the hell away from it, or looking for a way to stop it hurting me. Because I am not an idiot and I do havesome appreciation of how a dog is likely to react in that sort of instance.

It's the fucking irritating yappy ones who are 'only playing' that'll be getting a short sharp surprise to encourage them to sod off and bother someone else.

D0oinMeCleanin · 05/06/2013 20:35

He doesn't ignore me entirely. If I recall him from a few feet away he'll just carry on running in mad loops. If I recall him from approaching strange dogs, people or prey he will probably not come all the way back to me but he will change direction and carry on with his mad loops. If I jangle his lead he will run back to me like shit off a stick because that means walkies Confused Odd wee thing he is.

He also knows down-stay and stop.

And a lot of dogs react to pain or discomfort by trying to attack the source of the pain.

elinorbellowed · 05/06/2013 20:43

YANBU. And sod all this 'teach your daughter not to be scared' malarkey. She is two years old. The dog is the size of a lion to her. Children should have a healthy wariness of dogs and dog owners should sodding well keep their animals on a lead. DD was scared of nothing until a huge black lab bounded up and licked her in the face when she was 2.5. (The dog owner did nothing to prevent this or rectify it. She obviously thought he was going to eat her and since then she has been terrified of dogs. I am working on changing this by giving her supervised access with well trained dogs that we know, but I think its a good idea if she stays away from loose, barking, salivating, untrained, overindulged creatures of any kind. Dog owners should accommodate children, not the other way round.

elinorbellowed · 05/06/2013 20:46

Brainzmeanzheinz Grin Don't forget to put your filthy shoes all over people's clean clothes because that's friendly too.