To be good at my job but bad at the politics?

[FunkyChunkyMonk]

I feel like I am so tired, fed up and confused with office politics.

I am enthusiastic and hard working and I really do try my best. Why is it that after a couple of years in a job I start to hate it and need to move on? I feel like I don't know how to navigate it all. I don't find my personal life so complicated and exhausting.

Is this just me? Has some essential life skill passed me by?

No, I'm the same. I feel like I work well with people on an individual level but I find it difficult to relax in a group. It's such hard work at times.

Workplaces are so political and that can be exhausting. I think stepping back and not being too bothered by it is the trick. The ones who succeed seem to role with the punches.

I was thinking of doing a masters degree in 'toughening up' for this very reason. Care to join me?

You're not a teacher are you? . I am totally shit at the politics. Good at my job, shit at coming out with the right kind of crap SMT expect to hear. Friends/colleagues keep telling me, 'just keep your mouth shut!' whereas I think, 'Yeah...but they asked me!'

I also have the (false) impression I am ok because I only say 10% of what I'm actually thinking.

I'm just too Northern, old and blunt to agree with bullshit.

I think it's pretty common, tbh. I was shit at the politics and I worked in HR, which is at least 80% office politics!

Very glad to now spend my days at home with my daughter, who's nothing if not upfront with her demands

Are you quite shy sue? Or is it that you are so much more scrutinised in a meeting at work? I don't mind speaking up, but then tend to analyse what I have said after and worry.

I find it really hard to step back and take everything so personally. Will that be covered in the masters coursewilliam? Right now I would settle for a three day course!

Not a teacher sow but am similar in that I find it hard to bite my tongue when something seems unfair or wrong.

YADNBU... I am the same. Work in the music business but left 2 years ago to set up my own business and consult, and I am so happy I don't have to deal with the office politics anymore. I hated it!

FunkyChunkyMonk, I am exactly like you. I suppose I can be quite direct outside of work so at work I try to be more indirect. But I am happy to speak up and then constantly analyse what I said and did and worry if I said anything wrong. I am a constant worrier!

"I don't find my personal life so complicated and exhausting." - that's exactly how I feel. My relationships outside of work are an absolute piece of piss compared to the minefield that work can be. And individually they are all lovely people - I'm really lucky. I read about nightmare bosses/colleagues here and count my blessings. But the cumulative effect of a mix of people with different agendas and opinions is bloody knackering.

My default line is "It's really hard to say". I use that about anything - from my opinion about the weather to my opinion about the big boss.

The trick must be to grow an extremely thick skin. Now just to figure out how.

I have worked for various different organisations big and small and it is only just dawning on me that it is more important to be competent at the politics that the job itself.

Yes euphemia to the putting my foot in it and being oblivious to who is whose mate etc

I was just thinking this today. I know that I go in and work my butt off and get really good feedback at my reviews and from managers I've worked with. But then I look around and see people I started with who are now two bands higher.

Sorry, not v helpful but wanted to let you know you're not alone!

It is good to know I am not the only one who feels this way

Don't ever play office politics.

make it your job to know whats what - but never get involved in he game

I'm exactly the same. I think my problem is that deep down I really couldn't give a shit what people think of me. The only people whose opinions I care about are my family and loved ones.

Some people really crave approval and validation wherever they can get it. They tend to be the ones who are good at the bum licking political stuff. Because they care desperately about what people think of them.

yanbu. Office politics can be so draining and baffling.

I really enjoy working. I just wish everything was a bit less opaque and that people would say what they mean and mean what they say

And sometimes I wish they wouldn't say anything at all!

Quote ThebookofRuth: 'Very glad to now spend my days at home with my daughter, who's nothing if not upfront with her demands'

I think many women lack patience for the Office politics and backscratching and then if you aren't male and don't play golf, you are always at a disadvantage anyway even in companies with appropriate 'HR Policies'.

One day I woke up and to my OH's delight said 'Sod my brilliant career, time to have kids and I will SAM! Still no desire to return to workplace. OH high-earning so luckily I can choose not to.

It took me a while to work out some people did little work and spent nearly all their time politicking. You have to work out who they are, you can't just work - you have to be aware of who's doing what IMO, as these sort of people like to get themselves in control of others or stuff.

You should try lab politics :o

Im very good at my job and totally crap at the politics and ass kissing that goes on. I have a very evil/scary reputation as Im inclined to tell it how it is,if asked,and wont take excuses for stupid careless mistakes.

Ive certainly never called the chief medical officer an arse,let rip at one of the company directors when she asked how we liked our new benefits package we didnt or made 2 lab managers cry :o

Pretty certain Ill get canned soon for not having the sense to keep my gob shut