or is having friends and family bloody expensive?!

[bikinihedgetrimmers]

Went to a wedding last week. 160 quid to stay over (no choice of where to stay), petrol for the 400 miles to drive and then the couple asked for cash although we only gave 25. Another wedding in a few weeks. 80 to stay, plus the journey. And guess what? They've asked for cash too. These are good friends but it's adding up! Always seem to spend loads of money on drinks and taxis too, - despite their weddings costing a small fortune there's no more than a glass of wine or two, although I suppose we could not drink. Visiting DPs family in a few weeks - that's another journey to make and hotel to pay for. And then DP's goddaughter's birthday in August. Over 200 for flights, parking at the airpot and another hotel to pay for and of course, the gift.

I guess it is nice to have people to go and see but it's at the expense of saving money, which we really need to do. While all our friends get married and buy houses (usually with inherited money) we can't do either of those, but are looking at doing the marriage bit and forgetting the wedding because we just can't afford it.

AIBU unreasonable to think we should just become hermits and never see anyone ever again if it involves spending money???!!!

You can always say no to the particular hotel offered and stay somewhere else! Hubby and I did that once, but backwards, as we refused to stay in the uni digs everyone else was being it up in and we booked a five star hotel! (Being only recently it of uni it was not our idea of fun with shared bathrooms etc)

As a child I never expected god parents to visit for birthdays unless very very local, why make a trip just to go to a party?!? Send a cheque!

YANBU - my family cost me an absolute bloody fortune. I don't begrudge it because I like making them happy but my sister gives my nieces and nephews their birthday and Christmas gifts early because they're 'only crap of Aunty Admiral' when the kids get bored :s

off* obviously.

Well you dont have to go to these things. You could stick a cheque in the post and say sorry we cant make it - Have a lovely day.

Don't go.

Decline the invitations.

i used to go to everything and now only attend functions which don't involve overnight stays. Particularly because half of the long distance wedding couples are now divorced, I don't see the point in spending all that money. A card and small cheque in the post and spend the saved money on yourself.

I chose to move 250 miles away from my family and OH chose to live 150 miles away from his. The cost of travelling comes with the territory.

When we got married most of his family couldn't come to the wedding because they couldn't afford it. We accepted that easily (and it meant that we could keep the cost of the wedding down as well).

I don't understand why you just can't say you can't afford to go. Just send a cheque with your apologies instead.

Cheque and a nice note - job done. I don't think I could afford all those visits too, I don't think you are being unreasonable. I would rather save the money and have a week long family holiday.