to want my money back?

9 replies

YouSmellLikeBeefAndCheese · 04/06/2013 11:13

Basically my Nan died about 6 years ago and us grandkids got money from her life insurance. I spent most of mine on sensible stuff like Uni tuition and rent and then saved 3 grand to top up my student loan whilst I was at Uni. 2 years ago my dad asked if he could borrow money to pay for his new kitchen. He ended up with the 3 grand I had saved and I didn't mind as he promised I would get it back within the next year.
I recently found out he didn't tell my step mum that he borrowed the money off me and she only found out when I asked for the money back as my financial situation is horrendous. I am living off about £8 a week and having to scrounge off my fiancee who doesn't mind, but it makes me feel bad.
We are now expecting a baby in December and I could really use the money back. I have asked him for the money back and said that he could pay in installments but he is now saying that he has paid it me back by lending me money whilst I was at Uni.
I don't know what to do. I really need the money, but he wont pay me back. Any suggestions?

OP posts:

bobbywash · 04/06/2013 11:16

Sorry to hear but your Dad is an arse, if he won't pay it back volutarily and you have tried all the nice routes, then as a last resort, small claims procedure may be the way to go.

samuelwhiskers · 04/06/2013 11:22

This is tricky as he is your dad but you obviously need this money and lent it to him in good faith. What does he mean saying that "he paid it back by lending me money whilst I was at uni"?
I would keep asking him and discussing it with your step mum until you get past his initial reaction which is basically saying that he has paid it back already. Have a real proper sit down with him very calmly discussing that he hasn't paid it back until it is sorted.

Jan49 · 04/06/2013 11:23

Did he lend you money when you were at uni and were you expecting to pay it back? I can't figure out how he could lend you money and then you lent him money if neither of you paid each other back. Who gave whom the money first?

Apart from that, obviously it's up to you if you want to take it to court or not. You'd need some proof that you lent him money but surely if there are transfers both ways with him lending/giving you money, it might look like he repaid? I take the attitude that I won't lend money if I want it back. Even if I hope to get it back.

Maybe it would be better for your relationship with your dad if you talked to him about your current financial situation and your concern for making sure you can provide for the baby, rather than going to court?

Original poster

YouSmellLikeBeefAndCheese · 04/06/2013 11:30

jan49 I lent him the 3 grand and he said he would pay it me back. the next year at uni because I had lent him the money I was going to use to help me get by I was struggling fiancially. Basically my rent took all but £100 of my loan so I had no money. My dad gave me about £800 throughout the year. So even if he is saying he paid me back by giving me money to survive at uni, he has only given me £800 of the 3 grand.

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Boosiehs · 04/06/2013 11:30

Sorry - I don't have any useful input here other than to say that your dad sounds ilke a total tosser!

hugs

Jan49 · 04/06/2013 11:33

Can you not say this to your dad? Tell him you lent him £3k and he gave you £800 so owes you £2200? You could prove this with bank statements unless he paid you cash.

sparechange · 04/06/2013 11:42

Op, your dad sounds awful, and I feel terrible for you.

When you gave him the money and then he gave you the money, was it done by bank transfer?
If so, it'll show up on your bank statements and the facts will be there in black and white.
Maybe get back copies of the statements (just ask in the branch and they'll get them to you within 7 days) then meet him with the relevant payments and deposits highlighted to show him.

Can you speak to your stepmother? Sounds like your dad was lying to her about financing the kitchen and doesn't want to lose face about not having paid for it himself

Original poster

YouSmellLikeBeefAndCheese · 04/06/2013 11:48

He did it online banking, so there will be records. Hadn't thought of that so will sort that out.

My step mum and I don't really get on so well and the thought of having an actual conversation with her isn't one I relish.

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RenterNomad · 04/06/2013 13:15

If he wants to avoid conflict with his wife, that's your leverage. Get your bank transfer evidence all lined up and tell him you'll file a small claims court suit for the money - meaning SM will find out. Or he can pay quietyly, and you will receive it quietly.

Because you are only claiming what is legally yours, and you are entitled to secure it legally (and publicly!), it's not blackmail!

Flip