AIBU to not want to spend £175 on my soon to be 7yo DD's party?

[Rachtoteach]

Help!

Lately my lovely daughters has been going to her friends soft play etc parties and her birthday is coming up so she wants the same sort if thing. She had her heart set on a party at our local soft play place where you play, obviously, eat and also get to build your own bear to take home. It's £17.50 per child, minimum 10 kids.

I am torn. I could work my backside off for the next 2/3 weeks, and go without some of the things I had my eye on (a kaftan for our trip to Devon, some flip-flops), and let her have the party she wants BUT I also want her to learn about money/saving etc! I reall would have to scrimp and save. As for a present, she would like an iPod touch! And how can I say no when that's what her brother got when he turned 7 (please don't start an argument about whether iPods are suitable for 7yo, that's a whole other thread I think!).

I really feel like I've made a rod for my own back in spoiling them up until now (they are lovely kids though....!), if I had my time again I would lower their expectations and teach them the value of things.

So, please give me your ideas for fab low cost parties!

Kids parties are bloody expensive where we live, so this seems a bit of a bargain.

I don't want to put a damper on the whole kaftan and flip flops in Devon vibe the summer rain will do that well enough, but if you've given ds the whole 7 year old big-party-and-present thing, then... you're just going to have to tighten the belt and deliver to dd. It's the law or something...

I speak as one who did get sucked in,did the pricy party.its not worth it
it is an insidious creeping everyone is/expectation/peer pressure and I succumbed
now I not so stupid,I can say no without feeling bad or that they missing out

Cineworld pound per child saturday morning pictures followed by mcdonalds, all over by one.

Give her a choice between both, soft play party or ipad touch.She needs to learn that she cant have both even jf it is her birthday.

Yes, that's all very lovely and efficient and good sense and all, but the point is that the two DCs WILL compare. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.

I'm past in my very late thirties () and can tell you that my total loser lovely siblings and I still give my mother a hard time over inequalities in our birthday parties as kids!!!

And if any of you lot come on here hoicking up your pants and saying oohh we just loved it when our parents gave our siblings better presents/ parties/ ham& cheese toasties then the rest of us will be .

Big party or big present, mine have to choose.

If she is set on build a bear you can do a version at home, I did for ds3 for his 7th bday,I use this company www.bearfactoryparties.co.uk

They were brilliant and it was very easy.

My ds4 is having a 'tubing' party, sort of sledging on a dry ski slope, that is £10 per person, he is having it as a join t party with a friend, they will invite eight to ten kids each so no more than £100 each which is reasonable.

My ds2 thtay should say not ds4.

I don't have a 7 year old DD but I'm surprised she wants to do soft play. I think £17.50 is a bit steep. My DS (5) went to a soft play party earlier in year & I think it was £10 per head (food & Party bags were rubbish but kids liked it all ;-)

Other options if you don't want to host at home:

Cineworld £1 a head sat/Sun morning with sweeties/drink provided by you (rather than cinema inflated prices) followed by lunch somewhere.

Bowling party

Do local horseriding centre offer anything ?

Anyone up for listing these party ideas btw? Some of them are really good but scrolling back a pain on phone. I want to save them!

LondonKitty

Just because I'm so nice, a summary of suggestions:

• Cineworld £1 a head sat/Sun morning, with food and drinks provided by you (the party host) and maybe lunch

• A bowling party.

-horse trekking

-Build-a-bear (at home) using kits. Website: here

-soft play

-sleepover in the lounge. T-shirts and fabric crayons, nail polish, DVDs, chips, bad food, fake tattoos.

-necklace/bracelet making (at home or at a centre)

• treasure hunt

-local park/big back garden. Waterfight and/or picnic.

-Go karting

OP

Agree that 175 pounds is too much for soft-play for 10 kids. Is there another soft-play nearby? I would say to choose another party but because you did a party + present for the brother, and reasonably this will be the last year DD can have a soft play party, I would be inclined to let her have this one.

Is it possible to cut costs and have lunch before/after the event at home? Or drop the bear-making aspect? I would strongly suggest finding another soft-play place if at all possible.

Couldn't she choose between softplay or build-a-bear?

£17.50 a child is plain greedy on behalf of the softplay centre.

I had a budget of £175 and managed a party for 25 children at a local activity centre (plus food, games and party bags).

I think that's loads and would go for a cheaper option without the bear. I definitely wouldn't go for a sleepover at that age. However I would go for an iPod, I think that's a brill present. Actually we just bought our DS a cheaper, Philips version which had great reviews and still had a screen and everything and he has used it loads since he was 7 last week.

She is old enough to learn about budgeting and how much things cost.

Tell her the total that is allowed to spend on her birthday (presents, parties, cake all included).

Then give her some options. Some good examples of parties listed already here :)

She can choose to do the 'expensive party + no present' or 'cheaper, smaller party + ipad', or something in between.

Childrens parties are like wedding. Silly money.

Party at home, you will spend way less.

I would just say no. Show her the budget, let her decide. She's seven she will work it out.