To be very annoyed about this and to tell him to mind his own business next time?

[MissSG]

A family friend came round yesterday whilst I was playing with DS in the garden.

He was chatting with my DM and DF and then turned to face me and said 'You're going to smack DS aren't you?' I replied that I will never lay a hand on my DS whatsoever and he burst out laughing telling me that I am making a rod for my own back and repeating the words 'good luck, you'll need it' over 3 times.

He started to tell my DF a story about a 4 year old who was screaming the whole way on a train journey and how he would have gave him a good thrashing to which my DF answered 'I would have ripped his hair out and kept it as a reminder to him'.

After that he proceeded to belittle my parenting with various comments about how I am doing it wrong and DS is going to turn into a nightmare.

I ignored him at the time but I know that he won't let this go, so WIBU to tell him to fuck off mind his own business, DS is mine and I will raise him how I want to?

Does the friend have any children himself? My suggested response to him (veering between rude/very rude) will be tempered by that fact!

Also, do you mean that your DF agreed with him and suggested ripping the child's hair out???

Personally I'd have told them that what DF was advocating was abusive and if he did anything like that to my child, EVER, I would protect my child and there would be no more contact.

What a stupid thing to say.

And the 'friend' can take a running jump too.

YANBU, that is unspeakably rude.

What ever your personal opinions about snaking/not smacking DCs you don't ever say anything.

IM(not at all)HO DFs DD and her parents would have been a lot happier if they had smacked her when she was at her limit pushing worst. But it is no ones place to tell them to.

I take it the family friend has no children? I was SUCH a perfect parent before I had kids too.

I am more at your DF's comments actually. That's disgraceful.

He does have children, they are teenagers now.

My DF has always been like that and also agrees with him about smacking as we were smacked, bitten and had our hair pulled out when we were younger.

I wouldn't dream of smacking my child but I wouldn't belittle someone's parenting if they chose differently. It angers me when people feel the need to express there opinion when it isn't wanted.

I also agree that my DF is horrific but that is another thread.

I would not want my (d)f to have any contact with my ds if that is his attitude.

Apart from the fact that I wouldn't allow father contact if he had abused me in such a way, in case he abused my children in the same manner, I would point out to said friend that it is indeed abuse and you would happily report him to social services if you find he is doing this to his own teenage children. Alternatively, perhaps you could suggest, for the sake of his children, he attend an anger management course before somebody else reports him.

Your dad bit and pulled your hair out? Op that is so awful for you and Yanbu about this friend of the family. Why do some people seem to relish in taking such hard line techniques with dicipline? I'd be mortified if people thought I had to resort to hitting my child, not brag about the hideous ways in which I carried out my punishments.
Dreadful.

Your Dad but you? :(

*bit

WHY is this person in your life?

I hope to hell you never allow him to be alone with your kids.

tbh, I'd say "I'm not going to hurt them because I don't want them to hate me the way I hate you."

And hope it hurts him.

Why do you have anything to do with your father?

You weren't disciplined, OP. You were abused.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of smacking (I used to; wouldn't now), biting and pulling out hair is abuse by any definition of the word.

Smile sweetly and say 'you do know that's illegal these days?'.

I would keep these people very far away from you and your family.

So he was actually abusive to you like that, not just shooting his ignorant mouth off?

Why on earth are you still in contact with him?