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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I was really irritated by Race For Life yesterday.

146 replies

EleanorHandbasket · 03/06/2013 08:40

I did it, along with other members of my family, including myAunt who has terminal liver cancer (she started and finished with us but sat out the bulk of it). We ambled round, we weren't in it for the running (I could have done but not my Mum).

It was a very emotional and wonderful day, and Cancer Research do amazing things.

But it was all so PINK. And there was Zumba-esque warm ups, and they called us all 'girls' or 'ladies', and there were half naked men to tittilate us during the Zumba bit and it was just all so bloody GIRLY and patronising.

It's me, isn't it? I'm becoming a professionally offended type.

I just found it unnecessary.

OP posts:
AnnOnaMaus · 03/06/2013 11:22

Race for Life raises funds for ALL CANCERS, ones which affect MEN and WOMEN, Race for life is only ONE event which is open to women. They used to do men only R4L's, but the take up wasn't so bad.

EcoRI · 03/06/2013 11:23

sir they've done their research.

Women don't want men taking part and when you actually give men the chance to take part in a 5K event, they don't want to do it.

mrsjay · 03/06/2013 11:25

you know what is it so hard to understand that a lot of women do like the pink glittery stuff and love a bit of mutual zumba it doesn't make them any less important as somebody sticking on some running shoes and doing a serious race race for life is a fun run .

Startail · 03/06/2013 11:30

Pink fluffy fancy dress is cheap and easy to do, it gives the event an instant 'brand'.

But, I agree, that doesn't mean Cancer Research themselves have to descend in to barbie/girly hen night mode, it's very lazy.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 03/06/2013 11:31

Yeah, but it's sad if others feel a bit excluded by it, isn't it?

One of my family members died of cancer a while back. She would have felt - and occasionally did feel - really hurt if someone started calling her 'girl' and going on about pink, she'd have felt they were mocking her or taking away her dignity.

I think this is quite important really. I don't think it has to take away from people for whom the pink glittery stuff and whatever is cheering them up, but there is an issue if we're all supposed to like the same stuff just because we're ill.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 03/06/2013 11:31

(Sorry, that was to mrsjay, can't tell if it's obvious.)

landofsoapandglory · 03/06/2013 11:35

Why did you do it if all you were going to do was look down your nose and sneer at it?

Both my grandmothers died of cancer, my friend died of bone cancer at 33, my aunt survived breast cancer, and I have a friend in hospital right now aged 29 with cancer, she has a 2 and a 7 year old. I can not walk, but if I could I would do the Race For Life, I might even wear some pink glittery stuff, I might not I might just wear a t- shirt and leggings, but all the while I would be thankful to all the people doing it and the organisers for raising money so hopefully one day less people will die of this horrid disease.

EcoRI · 03/06/2013 11:35

No fundraising event will ever appeal to everyone. If Race for Life isn't your thing then there are plenty of other ways to raise money if the cause matters to you.

But you honestly don't have to do the whole pink thing. Plenty of my friends did it in normal clothes. Not a feather boa in sight!

Nehru · 03/06/2013 11:37

i hate race for life

I HATE IT

EcoRI · 03/06/2013 11:38

A little OTT nehru Grin

mrsjay · 03/06/2013 11:38

I do get your point lrd honestly I do but people know what R4L is all about when they sign up I really don't think it takes anything away from ill people I just think that women who take part on the whole feel bonded and feel like they are doing something fwiw my dd and her friends have entered a few times and not 1 of them wore anything pink and girlie I do think you can over look it

Nehru · 03/06/2013 11:39

Meh 0 dont midn the cause hate the event

SybilRamkin · 03/06/2013 11:41

I like pink. I like half-naked men.

It's pretty obvious that Race for Life have chosen the whole pink-y theme, if you're not keen then (a) don't enter, or (b) suck it up.

Although YANBU for being irritated, YABU for expecting anything to change or others to be irritated or for it not to have existed in its current format.

Original poster
EleanorHandbasket · 03/06/2013 11:41

I'm not sneering at it.

And I did it six years ago and it wasn't anything like that, so I didn't expect it.

OP posts:
Meerkatwhiskers · 03/06/2013 11:43

BTW if your aunt was who I think it was, I saw her and she went into my nursing heart with all my patients I've cared for with cancer that I was also racing for (I didn't mention that as that was a private thing for me but I did shed some tears for them all during the minutes silence as they've all inspired me so much during the last 2 years of my nursing training and hopefully throughout the rest of my career). xx

LRDtheFeministDragon · 03/06/2013 11:43

Yes, fair point mrsjay and I do see that. I was just thinking about how you'd have to know beforehand and not everyone would. And I do think it's tricky how it spills over from events like this, into the way the illness is seen more generally. I am thinking out loud a bit, though, so I will stop because it isn't my thread.

mrsjay · 03/06/2013 11:44

and dd and her friends didnt take part in the come on girls warm up they just milled about I think it is like a lot of charity fun events there is things that are going to gripe at people,

Original poster
EleanorHandbasket · 03/06/2013 11:47

Thank you Meerkat.

Thanks

It's secondary cancer, she beat breast cancer ten years ago. She really is the strongest woman I've ever known, she is a fundraising whirlwind and depsite pulmonary embolisms and a chest infection and chemo, still wanted to do the whole walk (her oncologist told her NO WAY so she compromised).

I found the minute's silence truly inspirational and emotional, we were all in bits.

OP posts:
THERhubarb · 03/06/2013 11:48

I think it is a bloody shame that the race for life is not inclusive of all sexes as you can bet your grubby knickers that if they did do a Men Only race it would be hijacked by protesting women.

My dh and my son want to join me on this year's race but they can't. How sad is that?

Yes I am doing it this year to support a friend. I will not be wearing pink. It's not obligatory but appears to be a popular theme. Whatever.

I just think it's a damn shame that men are excluded from this event. I feel almost embarrassed about it actually since I'm quite a feminist myself and would be bloody miffed if it was the other way round. If they were only raising funds for breastcancer or cervical cancer you might just understand it but they aren't, they are raising money for all types of cancer so why not let everyone join in?

Original poster
EleanorHandbasket · 03/06/2013 11:48

And, I shoudl say, my Aunt flipping LOVES the pink, glitter, shrieky all-girls-together thing, and so for her, I joined in wholehearted with teh whoop-whoops and haven't said anything about any of this in RL.

OP posts:
WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 03/06/2013 11:49

I do wonder (WRT falling numbers taking part) if it has just reached saturation point and people just can't get the sponsors any more, in my last job there were always several people doing it every year and in the end I stopped sponsoring any of them because it didn't seem fair to sponsor one and not the others (I do donate to Cancer Research privately though). I've never done it, the pinkness puts me off, I can't stand all the girly hen-nighty stuff.

EcoRI · 03/06/2013 11:51

But theRhubarb, they've trialled events for men and the uptake was crap.
So these men who winge and whine about the injustice of not being able to run the event actually don't get their shit together to put together something of their own.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 03/06/2013 11:53

I think she means, why don't men run during this race. And as I understand it, it was because a lot of women didn't feel comfortable with that. But it is sad.

THERhubarb · 03/06/2013 12:03

EcoRI, I am saying that singular sex races are BAD ok? They exclude a large majority.

I don't understand how women can not feel comfortable racing alongside men when there are plenty of men around who are cheering from the sidelines, taking photos, etc. Surely everyone who has paid £20 for the priviledge of racing to beat cancer is an honour to race alongside?

FWIW, both myself and my dd are doing the race and as yet not one person has sponsored us. Not one. So something isn't working.

My dh will donate and again that hardly seems fair as he really wanted to run alongside us with my little boy too. I hate exclusion of any kind, I really do.

ChunkyPickle · 03/06/2013 12:03

It is sad, but then (and I've skipped 2 pages in the middle of this) - it's pretty hard for women to get properly involved with Movember.. All we can be is a supporting act there.