"No offence intended!"

[Groovee]

Twice this weekend people have said to me "No Offence intended but..." Then slagged off my husband. Then get stroppy because I've replied "But you have offended by slagging off my husband!"

Why say it when you really mean to offend?

They think it's a Get Out Of Jail card to allow them to spill whatever they want to.

It is a stupid thing to say. It's reminds me of the movie 'mean girls'.

Yeah, people think it gives them a pass to say whatever they like. Along with "I'm not being funny, but" and "just saying..."

YANBU. But now I really want to know what's wrong with your husband.. wait.. are you Samantha Cameron?? No, that would be more than twice, surely?

for two people to slag your husband off in one week end he must of done something pretty offensive , im intrigued now .

Do tell us why your DH is the subject of two conversations!

oh yes, 'no offense but ...' is always followed by something offensive. It's such a non phrase. If you're going to offend at least own it!

No offence but you should tell us what awful thing your DP did. Not being funny, just saying.

Why is everyone having a go at your husband? They were all right when they used to have a go at my ex-H.

It's up there with "no disrespect" to signal whatever comes next is disrespectful and gives me the rage.

Maybe they think you should know whatever it is they are saying about him.

What has he done?

Maybe you are focusing your anger on the informants instead of your husband.

He's become a coach for the sports team after the last one resigned and left the children with no coach with 3 days notice.

The 2 parents concerned think he won't do as good a job as the previous coach! He's only been doing it for a month and they keep going on about what a crap job he's doing! They're a couple so obviously they're discussing him at home and then thinking that they can get to him through me.

They haven't taken up my suggestion of helping him out saying "I'm keeping out of it!"

How rude and ungrateful they sound! Your poor husband.

I agree - they are rude and ungrateful. Coaching a sports team is really hard work. I wonder why the last coach left? Could they have been moaning at him?

The previous coach left after a fight with the club and the committee.

The dad also made a massive boo boo at yesterday's match, he sat bitching about dh and this that and the next thing and dh was sat below him separated by a wall and heard everything. .

Your poor husband! Nothing like the politics of a sports club committee... Half way between Game of Thrones and the Vicar of Dibley!

That's nice of them. Not willing to help out themselves though, no siree bob.

Ahh, sports team hell. You can do no right with parents when you run a sports team.

How about "Not being funny, buf if he doesn't do well maybe your children just aren't good enough at X sport. No offense".

'Not being funny but...' No offence but...' and 'I'm no racist but...'

all followed by exactly that, bollocks to them OP.

Your poor husband! I'm not looking forward to school age I must admit.

I had a friend who would say it really randomly - one example I can remember was "No offence yeah...but can you pass me the ashtray please"

I'm constantly telling dc that if they feel the need to say "not being rude" etc then by definition they are about to be rude so best not to say any of it.

It's none of my business but....

As an aside, people who do nothing then moan about those who give up their time for kids activities drive me mad!

"Of course I haven't taken offence! To have done so would mean I actually give some weight and meaning to the nonsense spouted by a pair of windbags too lazy to get off their arses and do something about it even though they're clearly experts in the matter. Why on earth would I do that? So lovely to see you again, we must have one of these little chats again soon."