Right. I really don't want to offend you, but think you'll get more replies if you use paragraphs, so here you go:
My dad died v suddenly 15 years ago completely unexpectedly and it devastated my mum and self, as you can imagine. But we carried on, as you do.
Several years later my mum met someone else, and has been with him for several years. They don't live together but are in a long term relationship. My mums partner is very chatty and tries to talk to everyone. Her sister (my aunt), has always been a bit funny with him. We could tell by her body language and her reluctance to talk to him. Her husband (my uncle) is the same with him. She has made it clear that he is not welcome to her house at family and friends bbq's at her house. and she said that my mother should go to other family events without him. quote "i'm sure he can manage without your mum for a day."
Her and my uncle (who is know for being a bully) even dropped in on my mum and persuaded them to cancel their plans that day and go to dinner with them, whereby my aunt ignored my mum's partner all evening. It's worth noting that the rest of my family are absolutely fine with my mums partner. they think he's a nice chap.
Anyway, it all came to a head when her daughter (my cousin) got married and my aunt hand delivered the invite to my mums house. She handed the invite to my Mum. My mums partner said hello, she barely muttered hello back, and left promptly. The invite was for my mother only, not her partner.
Anyway, my mum has another two widowed sisters, who later on told her that my aunt and uncle do not approve of her having a partner and that she should stay on her own for the rest of her life, and so should my other aunts (they are asian and it is customary for the widow to remain so - not for religious reasons, just cultural).
I was livid about this.
My mother has lived here for over 40 years so why she needs to live the rest of her life alone, just because of some cultural nonsense that is no longer relevant, i don't know.
Therefore, my mother wrote a letter declining the invitation and explaining why she was declining. About a year later, my aunt and her saw each other, and my aunt explained to my mother that she had no problem with her getting involved with someone else due to cultural reasons. She said it was that she just didn't like my mums partner, and that my mum could do better. My mum asked what there was to not like about him. My aunt responded that it was that she just can't relate to him. My mum said that other brother in laws can be difficult but we just get on with it and include them, not blank them at every opportunity. aunt didn't have any thing to say to that. None of us speak to each other.
So am i being unreasonable to think that my aunt has treated my mother and her partner unfairly?