To still stay for contact?

[BuddingArtist]

DS is 10 months, and his dad has shown very little interest since day 1. There have been 2 months without any contact, he never asks how he is, even when he went into hospital after breathing trouble for 2 days there was no reply and no asking how he was etc.

The lack of care reflects during contact, he will pay him little attention unless he is laughing/being very entertaining, will put him on the floor and sit nearby fiddling with a toy/his phone and occasionally looking at DS, and will call him stupid, weird and lazy regularly. He has seen him about once a week for the past 4 months, usually for 1-3 hours, but DS is in no way used to him. He cries when handed over usually, but is ok if put on the floor next to him.

Ex now wants to take him out on his own, he hasn't said where specifically, just out. The thing is I don't trust him to look after/comfort him at all, and DS would be completely confused and quite likely very upset, but equally I can't see ex improving and I can't say no forever. And it's not like a newborn where he is in danger of overheating easily etc.

What sort of age does it become unreasonable to stay supervising contact purely based on lack of care/attention to DS?

Would he meet his physical needs without anybody else watching stuff like feeding or changing ect?

It is reasonable up until about three years old.

Once a week isn't enough contact to jump to unsupervised.

Contact should be built up, with trips out included, you can be there,if that is possible.

Personally i would pull him on using negative words towards DS.

Your Ex might be better without you around supervising him.

I would let him have 30 mins to take him to the park or a stroll and see how it goes.

That should have been "for contact to jump to unsupervised".

Who initiated the present contact?

Who set it at once a week and did you give him the choice to be at the hospital?

There is no justification for not phoning whilst your baby is in hospital and shows a worrying lack of concern, tbh.

Also, how is he around other people children? Knowledgeable and caring? What is his lifestyle like?

That is what you have to weigh up.

DS did BLW so feeds himself, so if I gave him some suitable food to take then I think he would give it to him.

He tries to avoid changing him so very much doubt he would alone (has even checked a dirty nappy then pretended it isn't when I've said I can smell him, two separate times!)

he set once a week, at 5 months I said we needed set days arranged or 4 days notice before, and he said he would come every sunday (but changes it a few days before most weeks )

You need to build up contact, it needs to be regular and kept to, unless ill health, or working shifts.

If a trip out together is possible, i would go down that route, but leave him to do all care.

Your DS is about to enter a clingy stage and a day out with a stranger, isn't going to work well.

I agree with birds. Not much damage he can do on a short trip out in a public place and that could be introduced into the current arrangement

by build up contact, do you mean 2 visits a week, or longer during the 1 visit?

We have taken him to the park 3 times, but the last 2 times we were only there about 10 minutes as DS got himself in a state about being in the buggy on the way (I usually carry him for an easier life ).
He wants him alone and out rather than just out.

Do all babies enter a clingy stage soon? I thought he'd skipped it because he's got past 9 months

Don't leave him with anyone who can't look after him until he can look after himself.

What he wants does not matter. What is in the best interests of the child is the only thing that does matter.

Off the top of my head I'm pretty sure cafcass tend to say with children of that age ( assuming no abuse issues and no domestic violence towards the mother is an issue) short but frequent visits with mum about if she's willing with the nrp doing all the care needs during that time. Adding in going to the park or shops for very short visits. Then when baby and dad are used to each other and able to cope switching to short but frequent visits away from mum.

One thing to remember now is that he will be very unlikely to be able to take you to court if he is not able to self fund as now legal aid is not available for family law unless you are or have been a victim of domestic violence and the other party is the abuser,so he won't get help with the costs.