To think I am not the fashion police.

[overthinking]

SD's mother has just texted to say that she doesn't like the clothes SD is wearing (we have 50/50 residence)
SD is 11, and just starting to think about clothes etc. As long as she is warm/cool enough and looks appropriate I'm not too fussed about what she wears - we're really outdoorsy too. When at her Mum's she wears designer clothes, trainers etc, and Mum tells her what to wear.
She doesn't look odd, but does like to choose her own stuff - so AIBU to let her do this?

Your username says it all. Yanbu. she's a loon.

Haha, mum is in for a big shock and a lot of teenage rebelling if she thinks anyone can dictate what an 11 year old wears for much longer. I'm surprised she's got away with it this long, tbh. My DDs were picking out their own concoctions of mismatched clothes at way younger than this, to my angst!

I draw the line at onesies outside of the house (DD2 would, believe me!) but otherwise if your DSD is happy and comfy, then who cares if the clothes are designer or primani, pretty or practical. Mum is being unreasonable, not you.

I wouldn't even respond.

But, genuine question, with a 50/50, well any residency really, what do you do with clothes? Is one home the predominant one where most things are kept? or is there really a completely equal split between things? like a wardrobe for here and a wardrobe for there or does the child have an over night bag to carry back and forth?

Because it would be much simpler to hand her back in her designer outfits rather than her jeans if it is going to be such a problem.

She must love the freedom she gets when she stays with you.

YANBU.

She has her own wardrobe here, and I drop her at school on changeover days so not a problem.
On the few times I have sent her back in stuff from here, her mother has thrown it away (whole other thread!)

YANBU but her mum is in for a shock one day soon.

Can't you pretend to misunderstand her and reply 'oh, don't you? It's so difficult now she's choosing her own, but personally I liked this outfit.'

(Disclaimer: no, that is probably not good advice but crikey, her poor DD that she's telling you to police her clothes!)

I'd be replying with 'hahahahaa Oh you can't be that shallow?'

Personally, I might get OH to reply that he doesn't like the clothes she makes DD wear, so tough.

Unfortunately it is all about image with her, so SD has a designer coat for school which is not waterproof and has no hood. She is not allowed to get it dirty.
I have secretly stashed a pac-a-mac in her school bag for rainy muddy days Oh the shame if SD was to be seen in it!

If you have 50:50 residence then just let her keep some clothes at your house that her mother needn't see if she doesn't like them. To be honest, in another year or so she's going to have a battle on her hands trying to influence what her DD wants to wear anyway so she may as well start getting used to it.

How does she know what SD is wearing if you don't send her back in the stuff you've bought her?

We live in the same area, and so we regularly 'get spotted' by her or her family!
All the clothes at our house are hers to keep here, so there's no crossover.