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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to keep my rings post split

55 replies

TenbyChristmas · 01/06/2013 14:19

I've split with my husband in March, his decision, I'd've fought for my marriage til the death, however, he has asked for my engagement and wedding rings back. I refused, on the grounds that he was ending the marriage and not me. Furthermore, I adore them and though I don't wear them anymore I couldn't bear to part with them. They are both very valuable. (Combined about 4k) I occasionally do a Charlotte from sex and the city and wear them for a while at home.... But to me they are symbols of vows I took that I kept, richer poorer sickness health... I want to keep them. AIBU?

OP posts:
juneybean · 01/06/2013 15:45

Cambridge isn't it?

Bearbehind · 01/06/2013 15:45

Definitely keep them. I'd have them made into something else too.

On the Kate Cornwall subject- is she some weird hybrid between Camilla and Kate?

Kate is the Duchess of Cambridge not Cornwall- that's Camilla!

HibiscusIsland · 01/06/2013 15:55

Keep them they are yours. Or sell them and go on the New York break pp mentioned.

LoveBeingUpAt4InTheMorning · 01/06/2013 15:57

They are yours tell him to fuck off, he's going to sell them isn't he.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 01/06/2013 15:59

The rings belong to you and he's not no right to have them.

flumposie · 01/06/2013 16:04

Keep them. I still wear mine occasionally for the same reasons as you.

LineRunner · 01/06/2013 16:08

I was thinking that the family name is Cornwall, but it's Wales and Windsor as well.

ReindeerBollocks · 01/06/2013 16:11

They are your rings to do as you please.

My wedding ring is a family heirloom as it was dear MIL's, which she gave to me. It was also expressed by her that despite being an heirloom it was now my ring. She knew me very well though and knows that should anything happen such as divorce or death the ring will go to DD, thus continuing within the family.

So even if it was a family heirloom, if you have children it would be up to you to decide whether to pass it to them or keep it for yourself, there is no obligation to give it back, just a social nicety (and given his attitude I wouldn't necessarily be compliant!).

Original poster
TenbyChristmas · 01/06/2013 19:06

Badvoc your advice is very attractive lol they are not heirlooms, and no children to hand them down to. I'm just old fashioned. Wore them on a chain round my neck yesterday. Sad innit!!

OP posts:
QueenStromba · 01/06/2013 19:16

My gut reaction was that since you got married there is no reason to return the engagement ring and of course the wedding ring is yours. Given it was his choice to end it, even if you weren't married then he couldn't really demand the engagement ring back anyway. Having read the thread it seems that everyone agrees with me. Tell him to fuck right off to the far side of fuck and then fuck off some more.

mummytowillow · 01/06/2013 19:58

I kept mine, they to cost about £4k including eternity ring.

I'm skint, so I've decided to sell them, they just sit in my jewellery box and I don't feel sentimental at all about them Wink

But they are yours to keep Smile

CremeEggThief · 01/06/2013 20:14

Who the fuck does he think he is??? Cheeky fucking bastard!

They are yours to do entirely what you wish with them.

CloudsAndTrees · 01/06/2013 20:19

YANBU. They are your property, you can do what you want with them.

IneedAyoniNickname · 01/06/2013 20:27

Me and ex never got married but I haven't given my engagement ring back, neither has he asked for it.

I will probably pawn it eventually, though it only cost 400, so probably isn't worth a lot.

LadyHarrietdeSpook · 01/06/2013 20:28

Tell him to fuck off.

DeskPlanner · 01/06/2013 20:28

Why does he want them back, just to sell ? Have you dc who may want them one day ? Either way, they are yours to keep or sell, whatever you want. He is a cheeky waste of space.

Purpletots · 01/06/2013 20:30

I'd sell them and have a holiday!

EuroShaggleton · 01/06/2013 20:33

They are yours, as many others have said.

Historically, weren't they supposed to be the wife's bit of financial security in case the husband died/did a runner leaving her in the lurch, in the days before women worked?

LadyHarrietdeSpook · 01/06/2013 20:34

He's a rude, grasping git. (Can u tell I've had a wine or two?!)

AnitaBlake · 01/06/2013 20:38

I kept mine (and his lol) after he left me at the altar. They're yours love x

squoosh · 01/06/2013 20:39

Bloody fucking cheek!

I'd keep them without a second thought. Actually, I'd sell them and pocket the cash, wouldn't want to hold onto a reminder of such a tightwad.

McNewPants2013 · 01/06/2013 21:33

I would sell it back to him.

Corygal · 01/06/2013 21:36

Bloody cheek. Keep them for now then get them reset into nice new pieces for your new life.

WeAreEternal · 01/06/2013 21:48

My friends SBXH left her for OW, days after the divorce was finalised he turned up on her doorstep with his hand out expecting her to hand

squoosh · 01/06/2013 21:52

I hope she sent him away empty handed?

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