My sister has two dds. One has health problems which has resulted in overnight stays in hospital (emergencies so unplanned) both times she's asked our dm to look after the younger dd during the day so she and her dh can be at the hospital with older dd.
Our dad can be a very selfish and unpleasant man. He actually resents having his grandchild for the day whilst they are at hospital, even though it is our mum looking after her. I live three hours drive away and as these are emergency situations I would struggle to be there to help, but yesterday I happened to be visiting our parents at the time of an emergency and so dsis dropped off her dd (aged 2) and I looked after her, with dm. However, my dad was extremely unpleasant and even started almost snarling at his grandchild because she was touching things in his living room. He thinks children/toddlers should have more discipline, be grateful for having a toy to play with etc. If she made any noise he nastily told her off etc so I went out in the garden to play with her as well as my own ds, 18mo. I didn't cause a scene because I didn't want to make it even more unpleasant for the children. But my father's behaviour and unpleasantness sent a chill down my spine.
Dm says she would never let him be on his own with dsis dd and hopefully she doesnt realise how much he dislikes her being there. I only visit for dm sake and would never leave a child with my father. Dm and my dh say I shouldn't tell dsis about dads behaviour towards her dd, but I feel she has a right to know so that she can ask someone else to look after her dd if there's another emergency (dm would get given am even harder time by dad if she looked after her gc at dsis house, as I said he's a very unpleasant man but dm won't leave him..)
Aibu to tell dsis, even though it would cause a big family fall out? Her dd isn't being physically hurt but I'd hate to unknowingly expose my child to such unpleasantness, dsis obviously knows dad can be unpleasant but he's never been horrible to her dd in front of her..