Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think he's got thrush is a bullshit reason...

51 replies

lola88 · 31/05/2013 22:42

... to leave a newborn with only one bottle when he is being watched over night in someone else's home?

seriously tub of formula 1 bottle and no steriliser

WHAT THE FUCK!

OP posts:
whattodoo · 01/06/2013 08:44

I'd be surprised if the mum turns up early this afternoon as planned.

Call SS.

raisah · 01/06/2013 09:13

Yes call ss she needs someone to shock her about her neglectful attitude towards her son.

MrsBungle · 01/06/2013 09:16

Going on the information here I think I'd be calling ss :(

SirBoobAlot · 01/06/2013 09:46

Some people really are fucking idiots, aren't they?

Where are the other children? How old are they?

quesadilla · 01/06/2013 10:02

And by the way it isn't the specifics of what she's left that bother me so much (8 nappies for an overnight stay should be fine and you don't need a steriliser.) The one bottle of formula is more of a worry but for a newborn that may be enough.

What rings alarm bells for me is the fact getting so drunk she can't stand is being given priority over looking after a newborn, twice in one four- week period.

EleanorHandbasket · 01/06/2013 10:07

Oh this has made me really sad.

I want to come and get the baby and bring it home with me.

So much wrongness.

Sad
TheRealFellatio · 01/06/2013 10:09

And the fact that she just assumes that other people will sort her her baby's needs on her behalf as she is so self-absorbed and irresponsible that she cannot be bothered to prep her own baby's feeds in advance or think about the possibility that it might need a change of clothes due to being sick or wet. Disgusting.

D0GWithAYoni · 01/06/2013 10:12

Call Ss really ? What because she goes out and leaves her baby with someone else? Some people need to get a grip. She could be having a really hard time. Who says she is prioritising baby over drink baby is safe and with someone. Funny isn't it how the mum always gets a pasting. I presume this child has a father somewhere why are we not demonising him.

Original poster
lola88 · 01/06/2013 10:24

AlsoThe father was out with her, the other children are with family.

What bothers me isn't the going out it's dumping him with not enough bottles or extra nappys and Clothes just incase. Also the heavy drinking what if he runs a high temp and has to go get checked they will not let drunk people in the childrens hospital so my sister would need to take stay there and no doubt I'd have to go take care of her daughter so she can do it.

It's 10 am and not even a txt to say howz my baby so far :(

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 01/06/2013 10:30

So the baby's been in hospital and his mother still hasn't been in touch?

quesadilla · 01/06/2013 10:31

Sorry, but if you need to go out and get absolutely mullered so badly that having a newborn which requires you to put this on hold for a bit is a major encumbrance, you need help.

She probably is having a very hard time and no one is talking about taking the baby away. But the bottom line is she is repeatedly putting her needs abead of thr baby's and that leaving a baby in that environment indefinitely is not in its best interests.

Social services can provide resources and support which could really help this woman. It doesn't have to be a hard line approach. Or it could be a wake-up call.

But this situation isn't sustainable.

ShatnersBassoon · 01/06/2013 10:32

Just read more carefully, the hospital trip is a red herring, not something that actually happened. You don't need to worry about things that didn't happen Confused

thefuturesnotourstosee · 01/06/2013 10:37

:(

DS has thrush in his mouth. He's 10 months. It will not go away despite a second course of treatment to both his mouth and my nipples (which seem to have no symptoms at all). We're even sterilising his sippy cups between uses in case that has some impact but sadly not. Sadly I think we're going to have to go back to GP for the third time

A side affect is that he won't eat or drink much because its uncomfortable for him. Maybe that's why this mother thought her baby would only need one bottle. I'm not excusing anything as I think she is very wrong just trying to rationalise her behaviour.

Has this poor baby seen a doctor? Has he had his thrush treated?

LIZS · 01/06/2013 10:38

I think you're getting a bit carried away with the What Ifs ... How likely is a healthy baby to suddenly need hospital admission overnight ? Lend the missing bits to make things a bit easier all round but I bet she'll just say that is what is normally sufficient for him. Milton's tablets/fluid would probably be better and she could reuse. Tell your sister not to agree again.

CaptainSweatPants · 01/06/2013 10:42

The bottle thing wouldn't worry me

I'd probably buy some ready made cartons of formula

But does your sister have a car seat so she go out?

What was your sister thinking accepting to look after a 1 month old if she didn't feel up to it?

honeytea · 01/06/2013 11:03

Is the mum disorganised like me? I went out for a whole day out yesterday and forgot to take baby whipes, a change of clothes or a sun hat for 5 month old ds, I didn't do it on purpose I just find it really hard to remember things. It is luck ds is breastfed I can't forget my boobs.

the drinking and leaving him for 24 hours is worrying, but I guess people wouldn't think to call ss if it was the dad going out drinking.

scarletforya · 01/06/2013 11:13

No steriliser. No wonder the poor thing has thrush. One bottle? WTF?

Judgy pants right up my hole. Poor little thing.

EleanorHandbasket · 01/06/2013 11:18

Well, no, because presumably if the Dad was out drinking the baby would be with its mother. Similarly if teh mother went out leaving the baby with its father it would be less shocking. Neither scenario is brilliant though ffs.

ConfusedPixie · 01/06/2013 11:19

:( I really think it might be worth getting SS involved, if only to offer help/advice to the family as it does seem that they need help if she feels that she needs a second night out already and doesn't realise that you still need to sterilise bottles with thrush!

bumbleymummy · 01/06/2013 11:21

She didn't just leave one bottle of formula - she left one bottle with a tub of formula but this means the bottle has to be washed/sterilised between feeds. I do think more than 1 baby grow would have made sense though. Mine used to poo everywhere at that age!

It does seem a bit strange to be going for a random night out and leaving a one month old overnight. Confused

ParadiseChick · 01/06/2013 11:26

Am I the only one who went out 6 weeks post birth then and left baby with it's perfectly capable granny?

scarletforya · 01/06/2013 11:29

The bottle has to be washed and srterilised between feeds. Also the formula has to be made with cooled boiled water. Water that has only been boiled once and cooled for half an hour before using.

I find it hard to believe the parents do all that at home if their attitude to preparing for leaving the baby overnight is so slapdash. Sad

ihearsounds · 01/06/2013 11:30

A call to SS would be totally dependent on if the baby was treated for thrush.. I remember when my youngest had thrush as a newborn, his arse was also extremly sore and 8 nappies would not have been enough.

LIZS · 01/06/2013 11:36

Think al this talk of SS is a bit hasty but consider:
Is the baby receiving treatment for thrush
Is he otherwise well cared for and healthy
What about the siblings ?

He is not currently "at risk" but why did family not have him with the others I wonder? Maybe worth a word to HV if there are additional concerns about his care and welfare.

honeytea · 01/06/2013 12:01

Babies don't get thrush from an unstrilised bottle as some posters are suggesting.

I was told by the dr when my baby had thrush to rub his mouth, his dummies and my nipples with bi carbonate of soda mixed with water. I was told to do that 4 times a day so if this baby is being treated the same way op's sister should have been asked to do this.