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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to be pissed off and hurt that he left?

64 replies

Tequilatequila · 31/05/2013 21:41

Im being induced today. Had the 24 hr pessary this morning and crampy pains started to worsen around 5ish. Midwife made it clear that he could stay. Its my first and i dont really want to be alone. Even though im not in labour yet i have no idea when things will happen and he has gone home to "get a good nights sleep"

Aibu to be utterly pissed off that hes left after saying i diddnt really want to be on my own and knowing i probably wont get a good nights sleep? I just feel really hurt.

OP posts:
Whocansay · 31/05/2013 22:02

I'd be upset too. Is there anyone you can call to hold your hand for a bit?

If he's had some rest, hopefully this means you can get some sleep once baby arrives, whilst he cares for baby.

Original poster
Tequilatequila · 31/05/2013 22:04

I know i probably am being a little unreasonable. I just cant help but feel hurt and upset though. It wouldnt bother me if he was here and sleeping and i could talk to him about how im feeling and whats going on ect. I know babys not going to arrive tonight but im just so uncomfortable and just dont want to be on my own. He nipped out earlier today to the shops ect abd that diddnt bother me because he wasnt even gone an hour but i dont want to be alone all night i just want to cry.

Thanks for all the support. Just feeling lonely Sad

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 31/05/2013 22:06

Hey, lovely, don't worry right now about whether it's unreasonable. I don't think it is, and lots of others don't either, but right now, reasonable or unreasonable, I think he could have stayed.

Can you not ring him and say you really do feel you'd like him there?

ballroomblitz · 31/05/2013 22:06

Honestly I found mine useless during labour, my mum was brilliant. Do you have anyone else you could ring to come over and stay with you, like your mum perhaps?

And don't be scared. Labour is awesome. An experience I would go through any day x

TapselteerieO · 31/05/2013 22:13

I hope you are okay, I was annoyed with my dh for going away during my labour to have something to eat! I hadn't eaten since lunch time and eventually had dd just after midnight - the mw brought me tea and toast after dd was born, whilst I was having a shower, and dh ate the toast and drank the tea, the wanker. I still haven't quite forgiven him, and dd is nearly 12, I didn't get anything to eat until the next day.

Big hugs, I hope your labour is good and you have a lovely healthy pfb to hold soon. I would get the mw to phone your dh to come and be with you.

peeriebear · 31/05/2013 22:26

Shock Tapsel! The post-delivery tea and toast is the only reason I agreed to another child. Cheeky cock!!

MikeOxard · 31/05/2013 22:31

Yanbu. If you need him, ring him and tell him to get his arse back there! Good luck with everything. xx

hiddenhome · 31/05/2013 22:34

something to cheer you up

Smile
crumblepie · 31/05/2013 22:37

yanbu he should be there supporting you ,why should he be all cosy at home and leave you fretting and uncomfortable at hospital ,ring him, make him come back , good luck .

eatssleepsfeeds · 31/05/2013 22:50

Get some sleep now, darling. You need all your energy for what lies ahead. It's a slog and it doesn't end when the baby comes. You need to be awake all hours god sends to feed around the clock - literally.

Turn your phone on silent and don't keep checking for more mumsnet replies, as tempting as it is. I know how impossible it is to rest right now but try your best. Even if you can't sleep, just lie still with eyes closed and give your body a break.

Call him and get him there straight away if you feel things moving and get scared, obviously.

This will all move on and there will be new things to focus on v shortly.

All the best. Xx

Original poster
Tequilatequila · 31/05/2013 23:22

Thank you so much for all of the replies. Hes back here now. Pains are getting stronger. Im going to get some rest x

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 31/05/2013 23:36

Oh, so glad he's back.

Wishing you all the best. xx

GoodbyePorkPie · 01/06/2013 00:47

Good luck Tequila!

Original poster
Tequilatequila · 01/06/2013 06:01

Update :) my waters have gone (on their own thank god).. is it likely to all be imminent now or could it still be a really long time like days?

Im really glad i called him back. Really diddnt fancy being on my own at least he was on hand whrn they went. Even if he was making "are you sure you haven't just wet yourself" jokes.

OP posts:
cupcake78 · 01/06/2013 06:20

I understand dh went home to sleep so I called my mum in to help me. Had she not been around I'd have been pretty scared and very pissed off!

I would be expecting some serious help at home from him considering.

cupcake78 · 01/06/2013 06:30

As you can see I hadn't read the thread Wink. Congratulations, not long now!

surroundedbyblondes · 01/06/2013 06:36

Good. Sounds like things are going well for you. Not long now. Good luck!

iamadoozermum · 01/06/2013 08:01

I would take your waters going on their own as a good sign and it's great DP has come back. Good luck Smile

NightmareWalking · 01/06/2013 09:03

Hm, I was induced at 1pm, waters went at 9 ish, baby born at 1 am! Good luck!

Oriunda · 01/06/2013 09:14

I was induced and sent DH home the first 2 nights ... he stayed until 11pm then went home to get some sleep. There really is no point both of you being shattered and after the birth he needs to be fresh enough to drive you both home safely. I evev told him he could play golf the next morning as nothing was happening! (He didn't).

Original poster
Tequilatequila · 01/06/2013 09:54

Ive been having really painful tummy cramps with pains in my lower back lasting a minute at a time every 5 minutes since 6ish. Are these contractions? Im scared ill be like this for days. Just dont know what to expect!

OP posts:
Binkybix · 01/06/2013 10:45

OP I've never given birth (due in a couple of weeks) but they sound like contractions to me. Maybe ask your DH to fund a midwife who can help talk you through some of this.

I know it's easy for me to say, but try not to be scared. You can do this!

HorraceTheOtter · 01/06/2013 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mia4 · 01/06/2013 11:04

YANBU to be upset but perhaps this is for the best? At least this way he will be awake and able to support you better then being a cranky git and trying to support?

Can you perhaps call a close friend or your mum to be with you in 'shifts?' That way he gets sleep and is good for the real thing and they get to support you for while and go home and sleep during it?

Mia4 · 01/06/2013 11:05

Just seen your update, good luck OP!