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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD older kid bullying younger kids in park

23 replies

BellaTalbert · 31/05/2013 18:18

my nephews (4+5) were playing in the kids park when a 9 year old lad decided to be physical with them and pull them off of the swing and later push one of them over and be really rough etc.
The boys mother did nothing, she is well known for blaming her sons behaviour on everyone else. He is well known around the village and the school for being a bully, TBH i do feel sorry for this lad as if he was raised/born to other parents he would probably be a nicer individual.

My mum who was with the boys shouted at him to stop along with my 12 year old niece when he did this but to little effect. The 'mother' shouted that he had not done anything wrong and then run back in her house leaving her son to carry on being a right little bully.

WWYD as I don't feel that my nephews shouldn't play in the park without being bullied.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/05/2013 18:21

I'd shout stop and then go over and make sure he actually does stop.

What else could anyone possibly do?

yaimee · 31/05/2013 18:24

I'd pull the boy up on it every time he did it, and move my children from him.
If the Mum had a problem with that I'd happily speak to her about it.
No way her sons behaviour should prevent others from using the park.

Buzzardbird · 31/05/2013 18:26

Ditto both of the above. Just because she is crap doesn't mean everyone else should suffer

HollyBerryBush · 31/05/2013 18:27

If I were you I'd do nothing with a 2nd hand story. If I were the adult in charge/grandmother, I would have removed my children.

Fishwifing it in public, especially in front of children is just not appropriate.

Original poster
BellaTalbert · 31/05/2013 18:28

This has happened over the space of two days.

When others have complained they have been told that we as villagers have alienated them.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/05/2013 18:30

It doesn't matter what the reason is

If a child is being bullied/pushed around then you have to stop the bully there and then.

They're only 4 and 5. If the person caring for them doesn't put a stop to it, who will?

Original poster
BellaTalbert · 31/05/2013 18:30

HollyBerryBush My mother didn't fishwife shout at the mother she shouted at the boy to stop it as his feckless mother said and did nothing.

OP posts:
yaimee · 31/05/2013 18:33

Preventing a child from bullying your child isn't 'fishwifing'.
I think it's much more appropriate to teach children that bullies can be stood up to than it is to gather them up and leave.

CookieDoughKid · 31/05/2013 19:06

It's assault and a police offence if an adult does it. Just because they are children doesn't mean they should get away with it. Of course, I don't mean they should get arrested but your children need to be protected where they can't themselves. Something more serious could have occurred resulting from them pushing around your nephews? Bones could be broken etc...

Pushing any child around in a threatening and physical manner is plain wrong. And if the mother cannot see that, she clearly has a screw lose.

HorryIsUpduffed · 31/05/2013 19:14

So you go up to her and speak to her calmly, telling her precisely what her pfb child did.

If she says she's being victimised Hmm or pushed out, I'd be tempted to ask her why she thinks that is, and ask if her son has many friends. Slight head tilt.

Original poster
BellaTalbert · 31/05/2013 20:03

My mum did but she ran off. According to her and her husband everyone is against them and their child. Full head tilt needed no he hasn't got many friends. The boy is known for bullying the reception kids at the school. My sil returned and went round to ask for an apology from the son and was promptly told to fuck off by the 9 year old.

OP posts:
rainbowslollipops · 31/05/2013 20:51

Drag the boy to his house and fill his mother in on what she failed to see her angel do. Remind her he is known as a bully an whilst others would walk away, you shan't be one of them.

digerd · 31/05/2013 21:02

I'm sure that 'dragging a child' can be called physical abuse, I am really sorry to say.

rainbowslollipops · 31/05/2013 21:15

Take the boy to his house. Better?

rainbowslollipops · 31/05/2013 21:16

Eventhough at the age of 9 he should know better.

LunaticFringe · 31/05/2013 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BellaTalbert · 31/05/2013 21:52

The parents called the police as they felt that they felt threatened by my sil. The police said that the family are very well known and that they will be updating social services and suggested that my sil and mother both file a complaint.

Its really frustrating that this little thug will not doubt continue to carry on bullying and that his feckless parents pass the buck.

OP posts:
CookieDoughKid · 31/05/2013 22:02

Ahh.... I'm so sorry to hear. I didn't realise, they seem to be a case of social misfits Hmm....

Smudging · 31/05/2013 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BellaTalbert · 31/05/2013 22:15

I am sorry, I really do feel for him but his behaviour is becoming increasingly more thuggish and yes he would no doubt of been a happier and nicer little boy if not brought up this way. Some people should not be parents.

OP posts:
HorryIsUpduffed · 31/05/2013 22:16
Shock

Frankly with that level of contact with police and SS, shoving in the park is the least of anyone's worries. I don't know what the solution could possibly be except warning the DC to give him a wide berth, and hover very closely if he approaches them.

HeySoulSister · 31/05/2013 22:23

The police said all that??

Original poster
BellaTalbert · 31/05/2013 22:25

yes they said all of that

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