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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be surprised that parent left their 4 yo in soft play party and went shopping.

37 replies

trackies · 31/05/2013 16:33

I had a birthday party for my 5yo in a soft play area. 3 parents told me they were leaving children and would pick them up later, so i took parents phone numbers. Another parent told me weeks after the party that they had left their 4yo at the party and gone shopping. I looked a bit surprised. But she said it was fine cos the kids can't get out (they can as all that is stopping them is a gate with a latch on and anyone can leave it open accidentally). And she also added that the party only had people from the party (28 kids + over 30 parents so very easy for anyone from outside to come in unnoticed). I'm not going to bring it up with her. It is her child after all, but I was just curious to see if you lot think this is normal ?

OP posts:

Original poster

trackies · 31/05/2013 16:59

sorry i meant zip zap - i would never leave my non toilet trained child to be cleaned up by another parent. can really see why you were annoyed by that.

OP posts:

neunundneunzigluftballons · 31/05/2013 17:01

Wow everyone leaves their 5 year old and runs here it is the norm. Once they are school going parents do not stay at the party. Mind you I have never ever invited more than 9 children to dd's parties which is also the norm here.

BackforGood · 31/05/2013 17:02

I would expect parents to leave their mobile number when they go, but if someone invites children to a party, then I would expect them to have put the appropriate numbers of adults in place to keep them safe and happy. You shouldn't invite more people than you can safely look after IMVHO.

IneedAsockamnesty · 31/05/2013 17:04

Nothing pisses me off more at kids party's than shed loads of lurking parents.

If you throw a child's party then it is your responsibility to supervise it, I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a parent whose child had a genuine need for them to stay but children of an age( or need)not to require constant parental support then do the hosts a favour only stay if asked to. Other wise bugger off and let the children play without needed to hover or be entertained.its the child's social occasion not yours.

YoniOneWayOfLife · 31/05/2013 17:06

Someone tried to do this with her 3 year old at my DD's third birthday party. I would have had a word, but the nursery key worker was there and got in before me.

Luckily with school now, everyone has a class list with phone numbers on at the beginning of the year (and woe betide it not being kept up to date)

thebody · 31/05/2013 17:08

I think it completely depends on the venue and type of party and location.

Busy soft play open to anyone then no I wouldn't leave a 4 year old.

House party then maybe yes.

I would have always told host though I was going.

It can be annoying if too many parents stay hanging around at a party as they don't actually help but eat the food and get In The way.

MrsLettuce · 31/05/2013 17:10

Is it really the norm in the UK childrens parties for 5 year olds to have 1 to 1 supervision??? ReallY? Madness.

Of course she WBU to clear off if she was expected to stay.

halcyondays · 31/05/2013 17:11

i dont think the op had a problem with supervising dc who were dropped off, it was the fact that she didnt know she was supposed to be supervising this particular child.

VivaLeBeaver · 31/05/2013 17:13

Yes, not telling you is really bad. You wouldn't have known to keep an eye on them.

louisianablue2000 · 31/05/2013 17:14

I'd always stay at a soft play party, even with my five year old, unless I had a friend there (not the host who is often busy) who was able to keep an eye on them for me (it would have to be a friend who I could return the favour to). It's a public space and I would never leave them alone there.

Private parties are different, I'd leave my five year old at someone else's house quite happily or let them be taken somewhere by their friend's parent. Parents started leaving kids at our birthday parties at 4/5 depending on the child.

louisianablue2000 · 31/05/2013 17:21

I think part of it is how well you know people in your community, I come from a small island where everyone knows everyone, obviously the kids know all the parents of their friends from an early age so are happy staying with them.

But in a town or city there isn't that sense of community, I wouldn't have left any of my kids at a party organised by a nursery friend because I didn't know the adults and neither did my child. It's unfair to leave a small child with a stranger. But by 5 the children are generally confident enough but ot in every cases, we had 2 children crying for their Mum at DD1's party, some of the other children were a bit loud for them!

jamdonut · 31/05/2013 17:23

I am also one of those who didn't realise parents stayed at parties with their children. I never have, and have never been asked to. Soft Play places usually have staff in charge anyway, and children have to be booked in so they know who is there...or at least they do at the popular ones near where we live.

Parents never used to stay for parties when I was a kid...why does it happen now? But then parties for 2/3/4 year olds were rare.

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