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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be fuming with dh-again!

27 replies

Ashoething · 31/05/2013 15:46

Posted last night about dh and his attitude. Lots of stress this week as we getting work done in our home primarily an entire new bathroom.

I have been out since 9am and just got in-there has been no work done on bathroom whatsoever. All workmen have done is removed old bathroom suite from outside house.

I asked dh if he had spoken to workmen or if he knew if they were coming back tomorrow. He shrugged and said he didn't know. He has been home all bloody day!! apart from 1 hour at the gym.

We were told bathroom would take around 5 days-mon to fri. It is nowhere near finished-no tiling has been done at all.

AIBU to be fuming that dh has done nothing to find out when we can expect it to be finished and is instead sat on his arse playing COD and waiting for me to deal with it?

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 31/05/2013 15:49

I hate to piss you off, ours took 3 weeks. That was completely gutted and replastered, ceilings down, so not a yank it out and shove it in job.

Original poster
Ashoething · 31/05/2013 15:53

Ours is the entire thing too holly but we were assured not just by this guy but also by other builders that it would be a mon-fri job. My friend had her bathroom done by the same company a few weeks ago and they took 5 days.

I have a strong suspicion that they have double booked themselves and are working between 2 jobs.

I am more pissed off at dh tbh-he just doesn't give a shit as he is at work with a toilet,a shower etc while myself and the kids just have to manage with neither.

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 31/05/2013 15:55

YANBU - he could have asked them what their plans were, not just ignored the situation. I'd be pissed off too, tbh.

ivanapoo · 31/05/2013 15:55

Have you been out at work? Why isn't he working?

Original poster
Ashoething · 31/05/2013 15:57

I do voluntary work in the local nursery. I then took toddler dc to swimming lessons and then picked up dcs from school. Dh usually works mon-fri but took today off without telling meHmm

OP posts:
CSIJanner · 31/05/2013 15:59

YANBU - especially as he kicked off last night about his old chips.

He should have called to see where they were. He should still call now - admittedly its a shorted week with the BH but they shojld have notified you. As it is, you'll have no working bathroom for the entire weekend. Yu have my sympathies.

Any chance of having a fun weekend with the parents? Or even booking into a family room travel lodge on his card for a small weekend "holiday"?

Original poster
Ashoething · 31/05/2013 16:00

Honestly I feel like crying. I know I seem like I am over reacting but their is a huge back story to this-have been wanting a new bathroom for years and just want it done nowSad

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/05/2013 16:01

YANBU

But just ring them and ask them...it's more productive than being angry.

Original poster
Ashoething · 31/05/2013 16:02

Thanks CSI-I was supposed to be staying over and going out with a friend tomorrow but she has let me down-again-for the 3rd weekend in a row.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ashoething · 31/05/2013 16:04

I have tried to phone and just rang out worra-have sent a text message asking them to do me the courtesy of letting me know when they intend to reappear to finish bathroom but its clearly not going to be this weekend which leads me again with the hassle of 3 dcs,no toilet and no proper bathing facilities.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/05/2013 16:05

That's a really poor service

Hope you get it sorted soon

CSIJanner · 31/05/2013 16:06

Are you in the southwest? It's time my DH learnt how to deal with two children in the evening :D

Original poster
Ashoething · 31/05/2013 16:08

No sorry CSI-I am in Glasgow. The kindness on here is making me blubBlush I know its daft to be upset over a stupid bathroom but I thought we were finally on the right road to getting this horrible house-which I hate-in some way sorted.

OP posts:
CSIJanner · 31/05/2013 16:13

It's not stupid to be upset over a stupid bathroom. It's something you've clearly been looking forward to for a long time. Now you have a weekend of inconvenience because DH didn't get off his arse to chase and because the builders have a clear lack of communication. YANBU to feel let down and fed up on both fronts.

Seriously, take his card and book you and the kids away for the weekend, leave him with the shell of a bathroom. That way, if the builders turn up over the weekend to make up time, he has to deal with them whilst you have running water....and he doesn't Grin

Original poster
Ashoething · 31/05/2013 16:15

I am very tempted to do something like that CSI-he will be fuming at having no washing facilities over the weekend as he usually has a bath AND a shower on a sat/sunGrin

I would love to have someone to go out with for a drink to get it all off my chest but the last time I poste on fb asking if anyone fancied a night out not one of my friends even bothered to reply!Angry

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 31/05/2013 16:18

Is your loo in?

Ours was removed for a w/end Sad

Dh issued us all with our own personal ice cream containers Shock

I went to the supermarket to carry out my more solid ablutions...Grin

I have no idea what the men folk did, something they watched on a Bear Grylls episode I presume.

Original poster
Ashoething · 31/05/2013 16:23

We do have a temporary loo in and I was able to grab a quick shower at the swimming so not all bad! Its just more dh'd refusal to even try and find out what is happening with bathroom that has upset me. We have been ripped off by workmen before so it is a worry. Still no reply from builders which is making me moreAngry

OP posts:
Original poster
Ashoething · 31/05/2013 16:58

How long do you think I should wait before trying to contact builders again? Left message over an hour ago and I would really like to know whether they plan to turn up this weekend or whether we have to wait until Monday.

Texted friend to tell her we could use dh's credit card to have a great weekend away and she hasn't even bothered to replySad

OP posts:
Bobyan · 31/05/2013 17:13

I'd call them every ten minutes, but apparently I'm a bitch Grin.

I'm sure your friends mean well, I rarely check my phone for messages...

Original poster
Ashoething · 31/05/2013 17:17

Well just had huge row with dh asked me why my face was tripping meHmm

My friend has replied and we are going to go out and paint the town red so that's something!

Thanks for all the replies-have to go as apparently as I am not making dinner quickly enoughHmm

OP posts:
Jestrin · 31/05/2013 17:23

When we had our loft converted the builders gave me the nickname 'the guvnor' because the first thing I would do after making a cuppa and general chit chat was to find out what they were going to do that day.

I find it very odd that you can have the builders in and that your DH is so disinterested, he has no clue when they are coming back or what they did that day!

Original poster
Ashoething · 31/05/2013 17:48

Yep that's why we had row jestrin because he basically shrugged his shoulders and said what did I expect him to doHmm and I pointed put he has been home all day and could have phoned them to find out what the fuck they up to!

He is now also in a mood because I haven't given him any sympathy over a VERY minor op he has to have in a couple of weeks. Aye right-this is the guy who didn't lift a fucking finger when I had 2 C-sectionsAngry

Still no reply from builder either...

OP posts:
Original poster
Ashoething · 31/05/2013 18:27

Still no reply from builders but am just going to leave it-if dh doesn't give a shit enough to phone them then why should I? Am going to enjoy my weekend with my friendGrin

OP posts:
CajaDeLaMemoria · 31/05/2013 18:35

Why are you married to such an utter cock?

Use his credit card to book him a hotel, and your life will be infinitely better.

And for tonight, throw his food into his lap.

Bobyan · 31/05/2013 18:44

To use my favourite mn quote ever;
"If you think your dh is probably a wanker, it's because he is".