About going to bed?

[MrsHelsBels74]

Disclaimer: I've had very little sleep for the past few nights so am knackered.

I was heading up the stairs to bed when DS2 starts stirring. AIBU to think DH should have offered to help rather than announce he was off to the gym & run out the door?

Yes I know I should be sleeping not on here but this has made me even more grumpy.

old quote I know, but 'women are from venus, men are from mars'. guys (in my experience) really have no idea when they need to step in without being asked. where a woman would instinctively step in, blokes just don't seem to have that 'time to do the parenting thing now' switch... drives me up the wall!

I wouldn't bat an eyelid at stirring - do you mean he's awake and needing attention?

DH was a bit thoughtless, perhaps, but then you have to seize the moment and get out while you can. If the roles were reversed, I would have gone out anyway.

YOU know you're knackered (empathise with the lack of sleep BTW - four kids under 8, husband poorly, and supposed to be exchanging on house move for last week), but he may genuinely not have noticed because sometimes they just don't - useless f***s - love em, but they really do need it spelling out sometimes!

Bit late to go to the gym isn't it?

Dh does things like this when it comes to changing ds's nappy. He normally does it with a massive grin on his face which means he knows he's in the wrong. The next time ds needs a change I go and plonk him on his face and say "your turn".

Let him know the next time you will be the one leaving the house. Now go to sleep.

"old quote I know, but 'women are from venus, men are from mars'. guys (in my experience) really have no idea when they need to step in without being asked. where a woman would instinctively step in, blokes just don't seem to have that 'time to do the parenting thing now' switch... drives me up the wall!"

Ugh. Attitudes like this...well, it's no wonder your husband never steps in to do anything if that's how you view him.

Totally agree - there is nothing about having a penis that makes you incapable of caring for your own children, and to suggest there is is wildly offensive to the majority of men.

Thank you, StuntGirl and Dojo.

OP if this is his regular arranged once a week time off then yabu. If this is him buggering off at a moments notice without paying attention to his family yadnbu

YY Stuntgirl and Dojo. OP I think it depends on a couple of things. Did your DP just quickly grab gym bag as soon as you both heard the grumbles? Or was it already known that be was going to the gym?

If its the former then YANBU but if its the latter, then it's just a bit of bad luck and timing.

Will ask the question though.... Do you get equal amounts of leisure time? Hope you get a decent night tonight!

It's impossible to assess whether the OP is being fair without a bit of backstory.

For all we know the situation might have been reversed last week.

Gym is open until 11 so DH could have done 1/2 an hour...I wouldn't have bothered myself.

He had said earlier he wanted to go but as it got later & later I didn't think he would.

DS2 was making noises so unsure whether he would wake or not (he's 8 months). Luckily I went in & stroked his back & he went to sleep again.

I guess it's not a biggie but I guess I just feel like we should be a higher priority than the gym.

Realise I'm horrendously drip feeding but I've been suffering PND & need my sleep.

If the baby was just stirring and he was planning on going to the gym, I don't think he did anything wrong. If the baby had been screaming and he left to go down the pub, you might have a point, but he didn't.