Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


to think an adult should be perfectly capable speaking their mind and not being childish?

19 replies

CartwrightMiss · 30/05/2013 21:09

Went on a weekend away last week. One of the women in the group (I don't know her that well) was quite miserable for the entire weekend.

On the Saturday we all went shopping, today I found out that this woman had been moaning that we never went to any of the shops she wanted to go too - yet never said a word about wanting to go to a particular shop whilst we were there.

As an adult I think you should be perfectly capable of saying I'd like to go here, or saying I'm going here if anyone wants to come, if not I'll meet you here in 15 minutes.

Not sulking about it,

OP posts:

Tee2072 · 30/05/2013 21:13

Absolutely. I hate people who don't speak up.


AMumInScotland · 30/05/2013 21:26

YANBU. Does she expect you all to be psychic? Or maybe you were meant to spend the shopping trip asking her every 5 minutes what she wanted to do?

Hopefully the person who told you made a suitable reply?


TigOldBitties · 30/05/2013 21:29

YANBU, but mumsnet has taught me that some people truly fear such things.

I'm a confrontational person and love to will speak up.

Apparently some people just can't bring themselves to, maybe she's very introverted.

Although think it takes the piss walking round with the hump but refusing to say why, and thats without me commenting over and adult stropping about shops.


TVTonight · 30/05/2013 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fakebook · 30/05/2013 21:35

I really can't understand why people go shopping together. I haven't shopped with anyone for years. I don't even go shopping with dh.


digerd · 30/05/2013 21:43

I was just going to say the same as Fakebook. I prefer going shopping on my own.


DogCatDogCatDog · 30/05/2013 22:01

It's odd that she didn't speak up. If I was out shopping in a group I would just say 'I'm going to pop into another shop, I'll meet you all in 10 minutes'. I can't understand why someone wouldn't/couldn't do that


Hubb · 30/05/2013 22:07

My mum did something similar once. We had planned to go to the park after shopping one day but it got late and we ended up not going. She went quiet and when we got back to mine (she had come to visit), sat on the sofa and started weeping about how she really wanted to go to the park. I was like you never bloody spoke up while we were still going round the shops.....?! She's a narc though and I don't speak to her anymore (so much more to it obv).

Wonder if this woman is always being so dramatic and poor me..or maybe she was having a pathetic day. Either way can't stand that! I understand if some people are shy and don't want to speak up but you can't moan about it later, it really is childish.


samandi · 30/05/2013 22:18

YANBU about the woman's behaviour, but spending the good part of a weekend away shopping baffles me.


Apileofballyhoo · 30/05/2013 23:37

I find it very hard to speak up sometimes. I suffer from anxiety and it can be easier to say nothing and just go along with the group. I wouldn't dream of moaning afterwards though, I'd accept it was my own responsibility to speak.


IJustWoreMyTrenchcoat · 31/05/2013 00:23

Couldn't agree more Fakebook shopping is just not a communal activity for me. I don't want to spend my time in shops I'm not interested in, and I don't expect people to hang around while I go round and round the same shops and try things on several times.


kickassangel · 31/05/2013 00:28

Hubb, MIL is just like that. Asks what I want to do then gets upset if I don't guess the answer that is in her head.

I'm another one who prefers shopping alone. I like to go at my own pace, if I want to try the same thing on 3 times, I will.


MrsTerryPratchett · 31/05/2013 00:38

Don't move to Canada. Everyone here is passive aggressive can't express an opinion.


Fluffalufagous · 31/05/2013 06:39

MrsTerry, funny you should say that. I'm Canadian living in the UK and feel the same about the British. Thankfully, I've found Mumsnet! Grin


CartwrightMiss · 31/05/2013 08:30

It was a weekend away in London, we didn't stick together when shopping - if there was a shop I didn't want to go I then I went to a different one.

At home I go clothes shopping alone.

We shopped for 3 hours on Saturday morning so hardly a large portion of the weekend. Everyone wanted to do some shopping - or should we have taken it in hourly intervals?

Just realised I've been defending and justifying points that weren't even relevant to the OP ~sigh~ really is one of the worst parts of MN.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/05/2013 14:57

Maybe its just bloody Victoria then, Fluff. They drive me insane.


lynniep · 31/05/2013 15:11

I really don't like shopping in company. If I'm with my mates, which is v.v. rare, I'd rather be in a bar somewhere gassing.
The moaning would annoy me too - either speak up, or shut up.


suckmabigtoe · 31/05/2013 15:16

i hate shopping so i really avoid going if i can. if it had been a weekend away kind of thing then i'd just have said "well, i want to go X, y and Z shop so shall we meet back at the hotel at say 5?" or whatever suited. i really couldn't cope with traipsing round after other people while tehy tried stuff on.

i went on holiday a few years ago with 17 other people- including children and it seemed to be the consensus that we would ALL go everywhere together! bloody nightmare- and it meant lots of people standing outside lots of shops because one person wanted to get a bag for their mum or t-shirt for their niece. i ended up telling them all i was taking ds down to the beach and would meet them all later at the hotel.


Fluffalufagous · 31/05/2013 17:05

Sorry to hear that Mrs Terry! They obviously don't know how awesome you are! Bloody Victoria! Grin

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?