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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not tell my 6Y her drawing is perfect and she won't win the competition?

20 replies

Dorange · 30/05/2013 19:53

So my dd is entering a drawing competition about cats and dogs. She decided to do a drawing of a rabbit eatinga carrot and a person. Than she decides to use mainly brown, grey and black to colour the picture and even a bow on the hair is black.
She than asks me if I think she is going to win and I say that I don't think so and explain why. She gets upset (just stamping on the floor and storming off) ....
Dh said I was mean and I should have praised and said the picture was amazing and should have given her hope to win.
I said I don't want to raise her not be able to take criticism thinking she is unconditionally amazing....
Dh says she is too young to learn this.
What do you think?
By the way she is very good at drawings and says she wants to be a illustrator.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dorange · 30/05/2013 19:55

oh and I tried to help and reminded her the competition was about cats and dogs but she gave me attitude so I left her to it.

OP posts:
fluckered · 30/05/2013 19:55

how old is she? depends on your delivery to be honest.

MrsHoarder · 30/05/2013 19:58

Yanbu as long as the only reason you gave was that it doesn't contain the subject for the competition. That way she has a chance to redraw.

LittleMissLucy · 30/05/2013 20:01

You didn't have to give her an absolute "no" about winning.
You could have said she had put a lot of effort into the picture and that you really loved it, and whatever happens with the competition is less important than that.
I think you were mean and unsupportive. You didn't have to make up a big song and dance and build her expectations too high, but you should take her feelings into account.

BerthaTheBogCleaner · 30/05/2013 20:01

Did you find some good things to say about the picture too?

I'm with you on not always telling kids that everything they do is fantastically awesomely amazing - because at some point everyone stops doing that and those kids find it hard.

I think I'd have said I didn't know if she'd win or not as I wasn't the judge. And then described some things in the picture that I thought were good. And possibly stopped there. Or maybe asked why she chose the colours she did and tried to suggest adding some colour.

AMumInScotland · 30/05/2013 20:04

There's a lot of room between telling her it's perfect, and telling her she won't win, listing reasons Hmm.

"I don't know if you'll win. It's a nice picture but isn't it meant to be about cats and dogs? Perhaps we should put that one on the fridge and you do another one for the competition?"

6 is very young for "taking criticism" - you don't have to lie to avoid criticising their work at this age.

AberdeenAngusina · 30/05/2013 20:05

DD entered a colouring-in competition for under-6s. It was a picture of a fairy surrounded by flowers. DD coloured the flowers in with the wrong colours because she was too young to know better. We posted her entry into the box and I could see that there were lots of other entries.

So I was astonished to get a phone call saying she'd won! I said that there must have been a mistake, and that hers couldn't possibly have been the best. The competition organiser said that they'd had some amazing pictures, including one which had shading and glitter highlights on the fairy wings and was obviously the painstaking work of an adult entering under a child's name. In fact, he said, they were pretty sure that several had been done by adults. So they'd picked DD's picture because she'd coloured the daffodils in blue, and was obviously a genuine under-6.

burberryqueen · 30/05/2013 20:07

maybe sit down and do some more together and talk about working hard to win a prize?

Original poster
Dorange · 30/05/2013 20:08

but if the competition is about cats and dogs and she draws a rabbit with its owner how is she going to win? She didn't ask me if I liked the picture, she asked me if I thought she was going to win and I said I didn't think so and explained why... I didn't mention the colours at all. Any way, the rabbit was going to be a dalmatian rabbit but she changed it to brown, lol

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 30/05/2013 20:09

Depends what you said exactly. If you said 'well, I think the sorts of things the judges will be taking into account are... and it doesn't do all those things as well as you're capable of and there will be other very good artists entering who have thought about pleasing the judges but, I think it's a really strking picture of a rabbit', I'd think that was ok.

I do remember having a little revelatory flashback in adulthood and, as a result, picking my DF up on the fact that, at about the same age, he'd said my drawing, sent to 'Take Hart' (Tony Hart's art prog) must have got lost in the post, as it had not appeared in the programme's gallery. I suggested this might have stifled my progression as an artist... (I was never going to be an artist!)

Original poster
Dorange · 30/05/2013 20:10

oh, it is Dh who thinks I should have said the drawing is perfect but this wasn't her question. She was very specific on her question which was about winning.

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 30/05/2013 20:11

The only way to find out if she will win is to enter her picture to the competition.

There is always hope. You don't want to teach her to give up before she's at the end of the road.

Original poster
Dorange · 30/05/2013 20:13

it is not about giving up but getting the subject right.....
?

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 30/05/2013 20:19

Well, was it a vampire rabbit if it was eating a person?

Original poster
Dorange · 30/05/2013 20:23

eating a carrot and the person - owner - was beside.
my OP is a mess, I know.

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 30/05/2013 20:24

If she put some effort into the drawing (and it sounds as if she did) then I think there is a way of saying, well your drawing is very nice, but the rules say 'cats and dogs' so you might not win with a picture of a rabbit because sometimes competitions are very strict about the rules.
Then I would suggest if she wants to try a cats and dogs picture we could put the rabbit picture on the wall at home, or we could send the rabbit picture anyway and see how she gets on.

There's nothing wrong with doing a picture in blacks and grey and brown if that's what she wants to do - they are perfectly acceptable colours.

There is a difference between saying everything is unconditionally amazing, and being honest and constructive whilst still pointing out the good points. (I am of the opinion that with art work there really are no rules about what is good as long as effort has gone into the creation, There is always something good you can find to say and I think all creativity should be encouraged, because it is so easy to destroy it, and destroy confidence and freedom of expression with an ill considered criticism)

KurriKurri · 30/05/2013 20:25

And the only way you will definitely never win a competition is if you don't enter.

lottiegarbanzo · 30/05/2013 20:28

You see I think some pictures are better than others and think I knew that as a child. But, I wouldn't have found it helpful to have my picture criticised unless this came with constructive and realistic suggestions about how I could make it better.

Original poster
Dorange · 30/05/2013 20:29

thanks. she is in the bath and I will try again once she is out. closing day is tomorrow.

OP posts:
Flicktheswitch · 30/05/2013 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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