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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you must be stupid to go public after winning the lottery?

84 replies

CartwrightMiss · 30/05/2013 19:10

Listening to the radio on the way and one story was a Euro Millions winner considering whether to go public and that they would be the 900th(ish) richest person in Britain.

I've played the what I would be if I won the lottery games countless times, aside from buying a yacht and travelling the world in my private jet - I'd love to give money to my (real) friends and family, people I know in life who are struggling and charities of my choice.

I really wouldn't need the publicity and the millions of sob stories begging me for money.

Aibu to think you'd be stupid to go public?

OP posts:
MiaowTheCat · 31/05/2013 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lainiekazan · 31/05/2013 09:03

Dh's brother clearly had some luck (no inheritance or new job) because they suddenly upgraded from a 2-bed bungalow to a 5-bed house, bought a Range Rover, a boat and were all decked out in expensive clothes. There was much speculation...

I would not want a mahoosive Euromillions win - I'd be terrified of kidnappers. I don't want to live my life like a wealthy South American. Otoh, about £5 million would do very nicely, thank you.

shanefolan29 · 11/12/2015 01:10

i'd keep it as secret as i could- certainly not go public under any circumstances, I really for the life of me cannot understand why anybody in their right mind would ever do that-IT'S LEAVING YOURSELF OPEN FOR ALOT OF POTENTIAL NASTY PROBLEMS.

Though it all depends on how much i got too, family would know regardless and get cash for sure though i'd trust them to keep it secret, if it was mega millions I'd feel the need to give some to close friends as well although that's a very dangerous path to start going down as where exactly do you draw the line as to who to give exactly what to??

Look around you- money is 1 of the biggest causes of family feuds, relationship break ups and friendship bust ups... I've seen friends fall out over less than 50 quid... would you really want everybody knowing so that you are a multi millionaire??

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 11/12/2015 01:25

Have u won the lottery Shane. Is that why you've resurrected this zombie.Grin

LaLyra · 11/12/2015 02:53

I think it depends if you could guarantee not being outed. I worked in a shop when I was 16 and the lottery was relatively new. The shops then got posters to put up if someone won good money. If you live somewhere relatively small, or have a set routine of buying your ticket from a specific shop, then I imagine all the "Winning ticket sold here" publicity could out you and I'd rather go public under my own terms. We were able to work out who had won the 5 numbers when it happened because we got posters and one regular bought a new car, fixed the longstanding damaged front of her house and stopped playing the lottery!

DH and I decided that when we win if we can guarantee we'd stay under the radar then we'd wait a month or two then excitedly tell the closest rellies we'd won 5 numbers and the bonus or won on a night when a few people won so the jackpot was small. Then you could give people nice amounts and they'd be delighted and any long term money questions would be covered by a 'lucky investment'.

LaLyra · 11/12/2015 02:53

Ah fuck, sorry. I didn't realise I was posting on a zombie!

NinaSimoneful · 11/12/2015 08:57

Yanbu. I wouldn't even tell DH!

(Im only half joking, he'd have it wasted quicker than you could say "How much Christmas bonus have we got left, dear? Barely any?! What was it spent on? How can you not know?!" My DH is appallingly bad when it comes to money.)

Seriously I would probably have to tell people I'd won something, hard to buy someone a car otherwise, but I would only tell family and close friends I'd won an amount, and I'd help them out financially, but I'd keep the exact amount under wraps.

PiperChapstick · 11/12/2015 09:08

YANBU. DH and I always said if we won we'd stay where we are house wise (can't be arsed with maintaining any bigger than our 4 bed), but subtly start buying nice cars, booking holidays etc and if people raise it (which they won't as British people are far too polite to ask where others get their money from) we'll just say something like "oh we're just splashing out using our savings" or something Grin I'm sure his family would be having a field day behind our backs!

AdoraBell · 11/12/2015 10:02

I wouldn't go public and I can only think of 2 people I would tell with a condition that they tell no one, adult stepson and 1 friend.

Most definitely would not tell DH's family because MIL has a mouth like a megaphone and no filter on what should/shouldn't be public knowledgeHmm and DH would be forbidden from telling them on pain of death/divorce.

AdoraBell · 11/12/2015 10:05

I didn't realise it was a Zombie either, it came up in Active.

TeaFathers · 11/12/2015 10:09

YANBU.
in a small town/village, the winner is often identified or presumed or suspected, even if they never go public. that's bad enough.

no way would i go public.

MorrisZapp · 11/12/2015 10:16

I'm not sure but I think in America, you aren't allowed to stay private if you win.

Just a heads up in case you're over there and they have a huge jackpot :)

lorelei9 · 11/12/2015 10:22

I heard the press make a mission to out Lottery winners who have tried to stay quiet.

that said, I would still stay quiet. I don't have a huge social circle or large family and would have no issue telling anyone to eff off if they asked for money (though I'd actually give money to my loved ones if they wanted it).

Akire · 11/12/2015 10:29

I wouldn't tell anyone apart from few friends but would probable lower the about by 80%.

If you have millions you can afford your own finically planners and agent if needed!

Daffodil90 · 11/12/2015 10:52

I'd tell close family and friends that we'd won some money but not tell them the true amount. Just enough that would buy us a bigger house and a car. They can then assume we are affording a yearly holiday because we don't have a mortgage anymore.

I would help out the closest family members by paying off their mortgages etc though. No fun in winning if you can't spread the joy a little :)

They don't need to see my new diamonds and champagne vault though ;)

ShelaghTurner · 11/12/2015 10:57

I'm not sure I would tell DH even. He has a mouth like the blackwall tunnel and would blab to everyone!

I'd absolutely never go public. I'd tell close family and friends but seriously downgrade the amount that I told them.

CheesyNachos · 11/12/2015 10:58

I'd tell no-one.

I only know one really wealthy person. Her DH is wealthy and she was fairly ordinary, middle class until she married him. She has not changed at all, but everyone around her has... she is on the receiving end of begging, hostility jealousy etc.

When I win I will give some to parents and that is it. The rest would be for me! Mwah hah ahh!

Chattymummyhere · 11/12/2015 11:06

I would say my biological dad had died and I inherited or that it had come from his family. Nobody knows him or where he lives not even me so nobody could prove or disprove it.

If I'm honest I would be temped to even tell dh it was less than it was, 1mil would buy a house right next to ds school, then new but not stupid cars, some holidays abroad, new furniture etc, cash in kids banks. Jon done

cakedup · 11/12/2015 11:09

A friend of mine's aunty/uncle won huge on the lottery. They threw a party to celebrate which included a bar WHERE EVERYONE HAD TO BUY THEIR OWN DRINKS. Then they went off and disassociated themselves from the rest of the family. The next time my friend saw them was a family funeral, when they turned up in chauffeur driven limos, swanned out in all their designer gear and flashing diamonds, and went off again. They never invited anyone to their new posh house, and in fact when my friend's mume (sister of the lottery winner) asked them for their new address so she could send them a xmas card, they said "oh just send it to mum, she'll pass it on."

Aramynta · 11/12/2015 11:19

I wouldn't go public no matter the amount. I would just be wise with the way I invested and spent, putting it down to inheritance or my "own business".

Some would go to Mental Health services - both charities and NHS trusts. Various other charities. I would buy my parents and siblings a house each, as well as myself. Id spend my spare time writing, enjoying time with the kids, volunteering for bereavement services.

I would also probably respond to all the beggars with my own sob story and a picture of me giving them the finger :D (not really, but I would certainly fantasise about it).

Realistically, I'm not greedy. I just want enough to buy a family home (4-5 bed, nice garden), stick in Trust funds for the kids and tuck some away for me and DH.

Not a lot to ask and achievable without the win. Now if only I could get my book published HAR HAR Hmm

Siwi · 11/12/2015 11:19

A colleague of a friend had a big lottery win about 20 years ago when it was still newish. Friend got a call on his morning commute from his boss asking him to pull over. Boss told my friend that 'Kieran' had won the lottery and one of his first acts was to ring the 'boss boss' to tell him to 'stick his job up his arse'.

Kieran (the winner) had been in the pub when the numbers came up. They all went mad and he bought drinks for everyone.

When they rang Camelot, the VERY first thing they were told was not to tell anyone until they found their feet. Oops.

They were advised to book a holiday with only the close family and friends who they trusted.

I love the anxiety of pp here trying to figure out how to pretend it was a syndicate to minimise tax. I don't buy a ticket but when my radio was broken I used to pass car journeys by imagining what I would do with a big win. I'd get so tied up working out which of my cousins might be in need and the dangers of who I might offend that I would end up cursing my win and wanting my simple old life back.

Rockytoptennessee · 11/12/2015 11:32

Just to clarify about tax, as a couple if people have mentioned it...

There is no automatic tax to pay if you give some of your winnings away. There would however be inheritance tax payable on the gifts (on a sliding scale) if you died within 7 years of making the gifts.

Anotherusername1 · 11/12/2015 11:44

I wouldn't tell anyone except very close family. I don't think I'd necessarily want the mega-millions, although you could do so much good with it - making a real difference to small charities that never know if they'll still be around in 6 months' time yet contribute so much to people's lives. I would want to do my own research and find the charities myself rather than having them sending me begging letters.

First thing I would do is pay off the mortgage and buy a new car. I probably wouldn't give up my job but I work for two teams so I would probably ask to drop my hours and relinquish the work I did for the other team.

I would also like to pay off my cousin's mortgage as they are struggling, but could probably say I'd won a lot less than I actually had. My mum is mortgage-free but I could buy her a bungalow in a more expensive area and pay for a gardener/any help she needs as she gets older - and a brand new car of her choice.

But it will never happen because I don't buy lottery tickets. I do hope that one day I'll get the million on the premium bonds though. That's not enough to change your life, but enough to pay off mortgage/buy new car/buy mum new car, go on a luxury holiday to New Zealand and have some left over.

SomethingUnpredicatble · 11/12/2015 11:45

I think I'd need to let people know I'd won something. I'm a single parent on a student bursary living in a council house with a twelve year old car and my siblings and parents are in similar situations, my parents being slightly better off but not by much. If it was multi-millions though, I woukd seriously play it all down as most of it would be given to charities and invested in things like improving local services, education facilities etc.

The one person I would tell outwith my family would be my lecturer from last year. I admire him alot and know I could trust him to give me sound advice and help me decide where to put the money. He has built schools abroad and done lots and lots of charitable work, he'd get a yearly allowance from me to fund his work.

I'd buy a decent house and pay off parents mortgage etc but honestly, I don't think I'd want to win hundreds of millions. I'd never know what to do with it all.

SomethingUnpredictable · 11/12/2015 11:47

Oh, and I would finish my degree and would intend on following my chosen career, I could pay my sister my working salary if I didn't neee so that she could travel when she finishes college.