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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that all men want a son?

52 replies

MoanyYoni · 30/05/2013 16:55

When I was pregnant with my first DC, I didn't think about whether I had a preference for either a boy or girl, I was just overjoyed to be expecting a baby full stop. DH was the same, or so I thought, and if anyone asked it was all 'as long as its healthy' blah blah.

A few months after DS was born, DH admitted that he was longing for a son and would have been disappointed if he had been a girl. It shocked me really and got me thinking whether all men would prefer a son, whether they admit it or not?

OP posts:

attheendoftheday · 30/05/2013 17:25

I think that most parents love the children they have and couldn't imagine better than they've got. Both dp and I are very happy with our 2 dds, but I suspect we'd feel that way whatever combination we'd got.

Locketjuice · 30/05/2013 17:25

My partner said he only wanted a boy luckily for him we did have a little boy.. And this time he said he would like a boy but wasn't as fussed and we are having a girl
Said he was mean but didn't offend as I know either way he is happy really

DebsMorgan · 30/05/2013 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 30/05/2013 17:27

YABU.
DH adores DD, he loves having a cuddle with his little lady. He loves DS equally, but said if we have a 3rd he would like another girl.

My Dad told me he always wanted to have girls, and he has 2 daughters. He hated football, so thought girls would be best... then ended up playing football with me for hours!

I think it is a sweeping statement to say all men want to have son's.

sjuperyoni · 30/05/2013 17:27

Yabu - dp wanted ds to be a boy, he was, but we are due dd2 and he is looking forward to having a baby girl in the house as ds is crazy 90% of the time!

ThePortlyPinUp · 30/05/2013 17:29

YADBU-Dp says he is never disappointed that he hasn't got a son, we have 4dd's that can do anything that he would do with a son.

AmandaPayneNeedsANap · 30/05/2013 17:30

No, DH doesn't mind either way.

Idreamofsunshine · 30/05/2013 17:30

No we do have 2ds but each time dh simply wasnt at all bothered what we were having. He was quite taken aback when one of his friends said i suppose you want a boy.

Naoko · 30/05/2013 17:31

According to my mother, my dad was so convinced when she got pregnant that I would be a girl that he refused to discuss boys' names until pretty much forced to by her two weeks before my birth (which was incidentally 2 weeks late so on the due date!). He was apparently unbearably smug, happy and proud when he turned out to be right, too :o

DebsMorgan · 30/05/2013 17:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsCosmopilite · 30/05/2013 17:35

No. My late Dad told me that he was glad he had girls because he hated football and would've been 'bored shitless' waiting for them to kick a ball around on a regular basis.

My DH similarly is pleased we have DD. Whether that's for similar reasons or because he's used to being in a female environment generally, I'm not sure.

Justfornowitwilldo · 30/05/2013 17:35

Not true IMO. My Dad's mother mad it very clear she only wanted boys. My DH's dad only wanted girls.

whiteandyellowiris · 30/05/2013 17:35

most men i knnow that express a preference, probaly tend to say they would prefer a girl, beacuse they think they are nicer and easier

AllegraLilac · 30/05/2013 17:37

I'm still childless, but DP is keen to have 2 of each. So that makes me think he wants both in equal measure?

Things might change if we end up with three DS, then I'm sure he'll prefer a daughter. Luckily he's grown up enough to realize you get what you are given and like it!

sjuperyoni · 30/05/2013 17:41

debsmorgan our dd1 is so chilled I've a feeling dd2 will match ds I'm just glad to not have a willy obsessed toddler in 2 years time lol

Lovecat · 30/05/2013 17:41

DH confessed to me a few years ago that he was so happy we'd had a DD instead of a DS (this was in the context of discussing the weird 'eldest son is always called Bob but then known as his middle name' tradition in his family). Apparently he's always wanted a daughter.

It was me that wanted a boy, as I had never been a particularly 'girly' girl and was worried that if I got a princessy daughter who wanted to play dolls I wouldn't know what to do with her .

As it was, we couldn't agree on a girl's name at all and only decided after she was born

Tinkerisdead · 30/05/2013 17:46

No. My dh said he didnt mind but i wasnt sure if he was fibbing. When dd1 was born i asked if he was disappointed, he said no but girls toys are shit!

Since then he plays golf in the garden with dd1 and scalextric. Then dd2 was born and he was thrilled no utterings of wanting a boy. I then asked him shall we try for a third? I'd like another and said "maybe you'd hope for a boy?" He said he doesn't want anymore kids and he's delighted with his girls.

Last week he came home with two of those tutu style nighties with rapunzel on and told dd1 i got you these as i know how good they are for swishing in!!! I had to walk off laughing as the pinkness has changed him!

threesypeesy · 30/05/2013 17:51

We have 3 dds and dh is really happy he has 3 dds I on the other hand feel guilty that I never gave him a son, dh said im being ridiculous and as long as their healthy and happy their gender never mattered to him.

We will be secretly hoping one of them has a son when their oler

needaholidaynow · 30/05/2013 17:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ledkr · 30/05/2013 18:02

We have a girl and will have no more of our own and if you ask dh he says he wanted a girl and is delighted we have one.
If you asked anyone surely they'd say that.
I have 3boys and 2 girls and was chuffed with every one of them but had no preference.

sjuperyoni · 30/05/2013 18:03

I never really wanted a girl, I was worried about the prissy pink girls you get, dd1 likes dolls but rarely dresses up and she loves cars and motorbikes and dinosaurs - I just gave her a mixture of toys like my mum did with me (hence my non prissy ways) even now at 8 she prefers joggy bottoms to leggings etc.

harryhausen · 30/05/2013 18:07

Hell no. I really don't think all men want a son.

We had a dd first. DH was totally besotted with her. When I was pg again he expressed a wanting for another dd. Of course we had a DS.

Now this may have happened anyway, but not long after the birth DH got really really low. He found it hard to bond with ds. Ds is now nearly 6 and its been a very up and down relationship with DH. In some respects he loves him deeper than anyone I think, but he gets the most annoyed and frustrated with ds. It's been (as the reality shows would say) a 'journey'.

What made it hard for DH at first was people coming up to him after ds was born saying things like "I get you're relieved you've finally got a boy." DH said he just felt strange.

Another friend of mine has 2 dd's and her DH is a very 'manly' man (footie, DIY etc). She was worrying that she didn't really want another dc but thought that her DH really wanted a boy. She asked him outright if he wanted another dc to try for a boy and her DH couldn't have been clearer. He said he was more than happy with his dd's and couldn't cope with anymore

Don't you think people just feel more 'comfortable' with which ever gender they have been blessed with first and so think that's what they always wanted?

Fakebook · 30/05/2013 18:09

I've always asked DH what he would prefer during all of my viable pregnancies and his answer is always the same: I don't care. He's never admitted anything either, So some men don't care what sex their children are. He treats dd and DS the same, although DS gets more rough and tumble time but dd gets the suprises when he comes back from work.

Mrschocolate · 30/05/2013 18:17

My DH really wanted a girl when I was pregnant with DD1.
Also when I was due with our third he wanted another daughter. (Ended up with twin DD and DS)
He loves our DS1 and DS2 just as much but he always wanted daughters.
Interestingly before I had my DCs I could only really see myself with sons.

RobinSparkles · 30/05/2013 18:22

YA being totally U. When I was pregnant with DD1 we were not bothered what we had, we just wanted a baby. She happened to be a girl. When I was pregnant the second time DH told me that he really wanted a second girl. We did.

I have a friend whose DH was desperate for a girl, she wanted boys. She had two boys and told him she was finished, no more. He persuaded her to have a third, then they got the their girl.

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