Really can't tell if I am - DP not helping look for houses

[Ihavenamechangeddd]

We currently rent a house that we had to move in to as a last minute decision, its very expensive rent and not the best house but has served us fine for the past year. Now we're out of contract and looking for somewhere else.

DP lost his company last month, now freelancing. I'm a sahm.It's a struggle enough to find somewhere that'll accept us as we're not on housing benefit either, and we. Have 2 cats, no LL seems to like cats.

The real problem is DP refusing to look for anywhere or go to any viewings. I understand to a point, I've got more free time than him etc etc. but he's so fussy! There's only a couple of areas he'll consider and then they have to be to a certain standard.

The main things that's pissing me off is him refusing to make time to view them. I don't drive and always have toddler with me. We live a fair while away from areas we're looking at so I'd have to get at least 2 buses to the main town and then find my way from there to the house to view it, I don't know the area very well at all. Does this sound fair to you or am I being precious?

It's really unreasonable to expect him to take time off to go to viewings, as much as it would be for any working person to take time off to view properties - view them outside working hours!

YANBU to expect him to be engaged with the process, however.

If he is freelancing,is he having to work to strict deadlines? Leaving early a few days can add up quite quickly and wn't domuch for his reputation.

That is one of the reasons as towhy one parent stays at home, so the other can work the needed hours to build up their reputation and get to better earnings.

You never know what life brings and come next year their could be a real reason as to why he needs time off, hospital appointments etc ,so it is best to accept that you manage what you can, alone.

The same would apply if it was him SAH (as i have done and then swapped with my DH).

"Its not reasonable if he expects you to do all the legwork and then casually wanders in and vetoes anything that doesn't meet his exacting standards."

This.

Equally you can't expect him to repeatedly take time off work for viewings, especially when he's the only one earning.

Are there any friends or family who could offer you a lift to viewings? Or who could watch your daughter while you go?

Could you sit down together and have a look at some houses online first, draw up the short list together and then you do the initial viewings? Once you're down to say, the final two or three he can then arrange to view the house. Could you ask the estate agent for a later viewing?

Have asked the estate agents for weekend or evening viewings but many of them won't.
He will look at houses I've short listed online but says no to half of them for daft reasons. We've just got very different ideas of what we want. I want to go cheap and a bit 'rough' so we can save money up for a deposit on a house. He wants somewhere in a respectable area with a house that's to a high standard. I don't think he will win in our current situation, the higher end houses will not want to rent to us!

He wants champagne houses on a beer budget. Cats, no provable income and fussy, great combo. I know it might be me, but it's coming across very Lord and Master. If he can find a house that he wants, let him. Otherwise he gets what you find.

You need to sit down, and decide what factors are the most important to you both. Write a list, then compare it. The factors you both decide on are the only ones that matter.

As squeaky (I think?) said, he doesn't get to just swan in and decide it's not "classy" enough. He sounds like an insufferable snob.

Why aren't you shortlisting the houses together?

God I'm so angry! Made an appointment to view a house in the area we're in now, £100 cheaper, nice area, will consider pets etc. He comes home and refuses to go look at it cos it doesn't look very modern!
Made him ring and cancel the viewing, 15 mins before we're due. He's a great person but this snobbiness will be the death of me!

Idea: call the agent back, ask them if they'd consider a lone parent, no pets on housing benefit.

I think you'd ALL be better off.

Oh and call a bloody taxi!

Where exactly is the evidence of this great person?

Loses company, doesn't get his hands dirty in the childcare dept. Won't support you in resolving the HUGE issue of a place to actually live.

Learn to drive woman, get a job and get yourself back on your own two feet.

(((hugs)))

OP; do you have any saving?
Some landlords will take tennants who haven't gor a 'proper' job if they pay 6 months upfront.

Good luck with it all.