to be so sick of things being done to my overdue partner.

[ukfirestorm]

7 days overdue now and just had a sweep, all seems so invasive, and unpleasant. She was told today she needs to try and overcome her fear of these procedures as it looks like we will have to wait for the induction whichis now booked.
Wish it would just get started, and the midwives have all been great, but so sick of interventions!

I ended up having 2 sweeps with ds2 as I had a false start with him at 37 weeks and still ended up going in to labour at 10 days overdue with the induction booked for 12 days over. So your partner will hopefully go into natural labour before the induction.

As other people have said she can refuse intervention. I personally think the 2nd sweep helped move things along for me so I would have sweeps done again. Its a difficult balance of not accepting intervention your not happy with but that not all aspects of being pregnant and labour are very pleasant. In hindsight I wish I'd stuck to my guns on refusing the epidural they made me have with my ds1 because of a high bmi, all the intervention just slowed everything down!

She doesn't have to agree to any more sweeps. DS was 14 days overdue. I had an appointment for a check-and-probable-induction at that 14 day point, but my waters broke on the evening of the 13 day.

However, contractions then slowed down so I was induced anyway. This was basically being put on a drip of some chemical to start the contractions; and baby's heartbeat monitored with a waistband thing.

In my experience being induced did give more painful contractions than my DD's non-induced birth. I had pethidine. But no extra "interventions" compared to DD's birth. (ie luckily no forceps etc).

They will in any birth need to check how dilated your partner is (I don't remember that being painful) and they gave me a catheter, which sounds painful but in the context of everything else was just a relief!

The main thing is, during the birth you will have a role as your partner's voice and to talk to her. Ie, when I called for more pain relief I couldn't really take part in a logical conversation. My DH was the decisive one who discussed it with the midwives. and vice versa it is true you can get to a stage where you can only really hear your partner's voice. I was definitely not obeying midwives at some points but I was doing things when DH asked me/helped me to do those things. So you do and will have a role in sticking up for your partner through this whole process.

Pigsmummy - how I wish your assertion was right. My sweep was horrific. I have a tilted cervix and then sweep was done by a consultant. The pain was indescribable, I was screaming and bled very badly.

I found out afterwards that pain during internal is quite common for people with my physiology. As is tearing. I was induced and every single examination had me in tears with the pain.

I managed to deliver DD with only gas and air and two paracetamol and was stitched for an hour and a half with only gas and air because the anesthetic didn't work - and as evilly painful as they were neither had me in tears with pain like the internals.

So rather than smugly tell others sweeps aren't painful just thank your lucky stars YOURS weren't because not everyone is that lucky.

Even now, almost two years later I still remember that pain and the thought of having another sweep makes me feel sick.

Another agreeing that she doesn't have to agree to sweeps, internals or induction if she doesn't want to and they can be very painful, sometimes I think that because HCPs do them so regularly they can forget what it's like to be on the receiving end of them.

I have gone between 11 & 14 days over with all my 4. Was induced with DS1 at 11 days over but they found he was breech during process and so had emergency c-section. Because of c-s, consultant wouldn't induce with the other 3 so went into labour naturally, but overdue with them all. Didn't have any extra monitoring, just weekly appt with consultant.

A lot of maternity practice is based on custom and procedure rather than being individually considered and what's interesting is that these differ from place to place, even between consultants at the same hospital (some like to induce at 7 days over, some like to induce at 11 days, other at 14 days) so when you look in more detail, they aren't really as evidence based as we might expect. Also the dating scans can be out by about a week either side so a baby being considered overdue might actually not be.

Personally, I'm a big fan of letting things happen naturally unless there is compelling evidence to suggest an intervention and that is what induction is, it isn't a friendly push in the right direction but a medical intervention which is why it has to be done in hospital etc. From other's accounts of induction, it can often take longer (because the body and the baby just aren't ready yet which is why labour hadn't started yet) and can be more painful because there isn't a gradual build-up of contractions but they start hard and fast. But as long as the woman has made an informed decision which includes the midwives being sympathetic to any concerns and explaining thing thoroughly, that's the important thing.

Sorry for the essay but experiences of childbirth is one of my areas of research so I can get carried away .

She can refuse...there are risks to sweeps too such as the increased risk of infection every time someone does an examination. There is research to suggest that the most dangerous time for stillbirth is actually at 40 weeks...according to the AIMS website.

Unhelpful I know but vaginal examinations during labour were extremely painful for me and I felt so upset at the thought of having to have ANY again that I chose to have an elective c section (on the nhs due to birth trauma) with my next baby.

Please don't be bullied into anything by the midwives unless it is absolutely essential from a medical point of view.

Here in France EDD is at 41 weeks, so she would not be overdue here yet.

This is why I'm always hesitant to say 'midwives know best', in any country midwives will do things according to their training and local customs. It doesn't mean they are right for every single woman.

It would be good if you are prepared to advocate for your partner during delivery, if you feel like she is being pushed into things without enough explanation or empathy, or being neglected in any way.

Oh I also had a horrific sweep (tilted uterus here too!) telling someone to just get over it is not helpful.

Just to add I had HUGE pressure applied to me to be induced with DD2 as I was over 40. I refused to be induced on due date but happily agreed to come in for monitoring. The earliest they could monitor me was 4 days after my due date.

Despite this HUGE and very REAL threat to the life of my baby they would not/could not monitor me over a 4 day bank holiday weekend. They were happy to induce me on the day before the bank holiday.

AIBU to think this was all about the bank holiday and nothing to do with threat to baby after all?

OP - you and your partner do have choices.

That's interesting Coola. I think I have a tilted cervix too - certainly it took the nurse at my last smear a good long while to get to it,and I've previously had comments about it 'sloping', I didn't have a sweep but I found internals absolutely unbearble, whilst contractions were fine.

It must be hard watching your partner go through something not only uncomfortable but also quite intimate. Obviously it's harder for your partner to go through but can't be pleasant for you to watch. Hopefully the sweep will get things moving so you won't need to wait much longer and won't need the induction.

Just as a note; I had an induction and actually found it quite a positive experience- PM me if you want to explain in a bit more detail

Becool thats worrying about the B/h

Placenta not designed to last much longer?

Just how incompetent do you think womens' bodies are?

Babies are born on their birthdays.

5mad that bastard consultant.

Agree others and she must realise she can say no.

Good luck with the babe.

Sadly not star.
I am lucky ds1 is here.
My placenta failed from 30 weeks except no one knew til he was born (@ 37 weeks) weighing 4.5lbs.
Luckily he was born early, otherwise......(

my midwife told me today he doesn't think sweeps really do much, it's more of a psychological thing - makes you feel as though you're taking action somehow. I had one last week though which didn't hurt - I think it depends who does it tbh...but you can definitely refuse. especially if it's not really doing anything?

badvoc my sister's SIL lost a baby that way. Placenta failed from 36 weeks and baby was stillborn at 39 weeks. I think the important thing for women to know is that there is always a risk of plancental failure, but it is a very small risk. The increase in that risk after 42 weeks gestation is very very small. So to experience this is incredibly unlucky, no matter what gestation you're at. Very glad for you that your DS made it through

I had a sweep at 37 weeks because I had horrific SPD (still have it 17 years on) with DS2. It wasn't that bad, tbh, infact after the pain I had been in for the past 20 weeks it was a walk in the park. The consultant did it with me on my side, there was no way of me opening my legs any other way, and was as gentle as he could be. He told me he'd probably see me the next day, and he did DS2 was born 20 minutes after the first contraction.

Keep your fingers crossed OP, some sweeps do work and maybe, hopefully, your DP will be one of them. Good luck with everything.

Yes, all the best OP to you and your DW. Hope the sweep does the trick.

Sweep worked 2nd time round for me.

I think nothing was going to work first time round. He wasn't destined to come out vaginally.

You and your partner can so no - she does not have to be induced if she is not 100% happy and confident that it is the right decision.

If there is genuine concern for the condition of the placenta then she can ask for a scan to assess how well it is functioning. A stretch and sweep won't do much if the baby is not ready.

OP

It must be very hard for you to see your OH in distress. Try and be a rock for her though. I know how much I appreciated my DHs calmness and willingness to hold my hand the whole way through

What Starlight said.

Also....

Normal pregnancy is up to 42 weeks.

Babies are not library books.

Any intervention has to be with consent. Informed consent. With risks and benefits explained.

Placentas do not suddenly stop working on a specific day.

She can say no. To anything.

If you are sick of it but she wants it you need to support her.

Given the choice i would not have had a sweep, however if a sweep was strongly recommended to me and i was told that i was taking a risk by not having one i would definitely have had one, as i would have imagined how i would feel if i said no and it went wrong. I'd never have forgiven myself.