In laws asked what we're doing on my birthday. DH replied we plan to have a family day out, but happy to do something with them and SIL and her hubby in the evening or the next day. This was at my request as we rarely get the chance to just have a nice day out. MIL then clips in with don't forget your extended family (we see them every weekend but haven't seen SIL for a month).
Anyway conversation turns to other stuff but as DH is saying bye and that he will think of something for Sunday, MIL asks him to ring his sister and discuss the plans with her. DH replies with certainly because Baskets birthday is about 'sister'. This gets a frosty response from FIL and an explanation from MIL about how SIL is sensitive, feels left out and misses the kids. She is married and prior to a month ago we probably saw her and her dh every weekend too.
I am proud of DH and fed up of always having to differ to SIL's wants. I would normally bend over backwards to accommodate them all but am irritated that even my birthday is suddenly all about SIL.
I suggested lunch in a pub on Sunday and DH is going to book a table and invite everyone. AIBU to refuse to change our plans even though I know this is what they really want. And to want to cheer DH for putting me first for a change.