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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this girl is a terrible influence on young girls?

21 replies

ClaraOswaldforthewinOswin · 29/05/2013 02:15

Just been sent a link to these videos by a friend, whose teenage DD watches them regularly. I can't even Shock. How can we hope to raise responsible teenage girls safe about sex and conscious of the need to use protection when there are people like this girl practically promoting having babies young, with no qualifications, and living off youtube 'fame'? Or am I out of touch?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 29/05/2013 02:19

You know that if you post something here with a link, she will get loads of hits and therefore be more popular. Why not just describe what she is saying?

Original poster
ClaraOswaldforthewinOswin · 29/05/2013 02:27

Ah MrsTerry, didn't think of that, I'm not very good with youtube Blush

For those who don't want to look at the link, it's a young girl of 21 with 3 children under the age of 3, no qualifications and living off youtube, explaining to her fan club how she and her BF want to be expecting baby number 4 by their youngests' 2nd birthday. My friend's teenage DD watches these videos, because the kids are 'really cute' Hmm. AIBU to worry it's glamorizing and normalizing teenage pregnancy?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 29/05/2013 02:37

I don't think it's more ridiculous than all the kids I know who think they are going to be rappers, or fashion designers or whatever nonsense job they think will make them rich with no work. Presumably this woman is actually making enough money to support her family. Not the world's best role model maybe but no worse than all that vacuous talent show idiots.

k2togm1 · 29/05/2013 02:42

How does she live off YouTube fame?

HollyBerryBush · 29/05/2013 06:31

I suppose it is done through advertising. A bit like the drunken makeup tutorials or the girls who look dress like Japanese Dolls (google Dakota Rose or Venus Angelic) - they make a fortune, millions of dollars.

MrsPresley · 29/05/2013 07:01

Well you haven't given much information and there's no point in me watching the video, my sound doesnt work, but...

Had my DS not died I would have been 21 with 3 DC under 2!

I got married at 18, twins born when I was 19. DS died when he was 17 months and DD2 was born 3 months later.

You don't say if she wants a life on benefits with no intention of her or her BF ever working or if he works to support them.

You say she's "living off youtube", does this mean she earns money from the videos?

TBH I don't know if I think YABU or not (I would have to watch the video) but I do think you are being very judgmental about "young" mums, and at 21 she is a woman not a girl.

loofet · 29/05/2013 07:13

Yabu. Very easy to judge a situation based on how it looks written down. 3 DC by 21 Shock, how dreadful. When in reality she's still with the father (I presume by bf), she's making a living for herself WAH and therefore once again I assume not living off the state and I'll bet she's a great mother. Not all teen mums are Vicky Pollard's you know, just the media tripe likes to have you all believe it. Plus it's entirely her choice to have children and have that as her vocation in life, not every woman wants anything more and you know what? That is FINE.

MulberryJane · 29/05/2013 07:17

I don't think the OP is criticising young mums, I took it as the lack of aspirations and the means to actually take care of the children that were being criticised. I agree with that side of it, I haven't watched the video (nor am I going to) but glamorising having lots of children without the means to support them is wrong. Yes, she might have got her YouTube income but she's teaching her children that being self sufficient is an afterthought. I think this can be the case with parents of all ages though, I know a lot of circumstances mean people can't work/receive an education etc, but there's nothing sadder than those who choose not to help themselves and feel entitled to as much as they want.

NotYouNaanBread · 29/05/2013 07:22

3 children by 18 would be pretty grim, but 3 by 21, while not the Boden ideal, isn't the end of the world.

Also, by videoblogging - mummyblogging, in fact! how muddke class! - she is earning enough to support her family as opposed to being on benefits, and although it might not be the more realistic career for her fans to aspire to, few "famous" careers are.

No, it might not be what you want your daughter to aspire to but morally it's no worse than idolising Rihanna.

LadyFlumpalot · 29/05/2013 07:24

I have a friend who "lives off YouTube". He posts tutorial videos for Playstation 3 car racing games like Gran Turismo and makes roughly £900 a month from it. I don't quite get how it works, something to do with each view gets him pence, each click through to an advert from his page gets him pounds.

I do know he works damn hard, some of his videos can take him 8 or 9 hours to produce 3 minutes of useable footage (after all he has to win the race, or the tutorial is useless).

And yes, he is fully registered with HMRC as self - employed.

libertyflip · 29/05/2013 07:34

In answer to your questions, I think YABU and out of touch. I watched a fe seconds of one of her videos and saw her engaging her young children in play and enjoying their company. I personally wouldn't want my child all over Youtube for strangers to watch but then I'm probably out of touch too!

Live and let live I say.

ParadiseChick · 29/05/2013 07:39

Fact is there are already young mums out there - do they not deserve a role model?

MissSG · 29/05/2013 07:43

YouTube pays you a certain amount a month to upload videos which have a high number of viewers.

The more viewers = more money.

You can earn a decent amount from doing this.

Flobbadobs · 29/05/2013 07:53

LadyFlumpalot I know someone who does this too and Thats pretty much how it works, he gets so much per hit onto his Youtube channel. Between that and lecturing games manufacturers in America (directly because of his Youtube walkthroughs) he is building his own house, fully paid for at the age of 24.
OP I'm not saying her videos could lead to that much success but she is doing something to supplement her income. 'living off Youtube' can be a valid source of income for canny people these days...
Btw, 3 children at 21? So what? A friend of mine had 2 by the age of 17. Twins who are now a credit to their Mum and Dad (still together) and loving sisters to their siblings (all 4 of them).
YABU and judgy.

PeachActiviaMinge · 29/05/2013 08:21

After watching one video I really don't think she is a bad influence. Her partner works, she's breastfeeding her twins still who are 14 months old and she obviously adores her kids. I'd say she's a good role model for young mums actually.

Original poster
ClaraOswaldforthewinOswin · 29/05/2013 09:34

I'm not criticizing her life choices- if she wants 4 kids by age 21 then that's none of my business. What I am concerned about is that she's normalising and even promoting having so many children so young- there's no "I love my kids but its hard work, I wish I'd waited", it's all gushy and how brilliant her life is. I'm not saying I want her to be grim and miserable all the time, but I do think given her videos are going to appeal to teens she has a duty to them not to encourage following in her footsteps. She can live off YouTube and that's fine, but certainly not going to be possible for every teenage mother. And then there's the fact that the bf she is trying to conceive with and herself got divorced a year ago when he cheated on her during her second pregnancy Hmm. But it's none of my business to judge how she wants to live her life, and I accept that. I'm just worried about the message she's giving out.

OP posts:
Original poster
ClaraOswaldforthewinOswin · 29/05/2013 09:38

Thank you mulberry, that was what I was trying to say.

She's still with the father of her twins, not her elder child- she encourages her daughter to call her new partner daddy although she still sees her father regularly. Again, not judging her life choices, just correcting as easy I think to assume they're still together.

OP posts:
YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 29/05/2013 16:43

Actually op I think you are being unreasonable, I have just watched a video where it shows a normal day in her life and it starts at 2am, then shows her up at 3am and then she talks about how hard potty training has been and how her daughter has been sick. I wouldn't say she's made it look easy and even if she does find it easy then good for her, why should she not be allowed to find it easy just because she's young

gabeandjesssfan · 29/05/2013 17:14

Accually, Its about a 22 year old girl named Jessica Roque, who lives with her husband and has an almost 3 year old daughter named Lilia and 14 month twin boys, Kyson and Kaden. She has her life together and in no way is she promoting teen pregnancy. Drake, her husband has a job and they do not have more kids to make money off of youtube. You dont know her full story, no one truly does even someone who has watched all her videos. She can most defiantly handle a fourth, so leave her alone. Also as a teen mom myself, i would like to say that its not easy, but she is doing one heck of a job. So go ahead and watch the video! give her views:) /watch?v=BOjhL-nxWyc

StuffezLaYoni · 29/05/2013 17:27

Just watched the video in your link and switched off after about 13 seconds as it was just crashingly boring. To put it bluntly, who the F cares about her family?!

theagrace · 01/07/2014 01:23

I understand that her situation is definitely not ideal, but I think that you're overlooking some details. She was on birth control when she get pregnant at 17, with her boyfriend of 4 years, as a senior in high school. She graduated with honors and had her baby after that. She then went right to college in the fall. Her and her boyfriend mutually broke up. She later met another man whom she had known as a teenager, and they started dating. She was once again on birth control and got pregnant, this time with twins. They got married while she was pregnant, and she gave birth to her baby boys a couple months after that. Fast forward two and a half years, and there you are. She's in college full time, studying to be come a nurse. She's a YouTube partner, which means she has built up her channel enough to earn money from it. She's responsible enough to raise a family in a house she bought. Even though you don't agree with her choices, don't bash her life.

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