AIBU?
Alcoholic husband
Fluffpuff · 28/05/2013 13:18
My husband recently left me and my three children. We have arranged he sees them every other weekend but I'm concerned about their safety as he is an alcohol. He drinks three quarters of a litre if gin mixed with Campari every evening. I'm concerned he is over they it to drive when he collects them on a morning and also when he has them overnight about his ability to look after them adequately if there was an emergency. The children are 14, 10 and 8 and one has special needs. I'm unsure how to proceed as he won't address the problem believing he has no problem. I know if I bring it up it wi cause a lot if upset as I tried on numerous occasions before he left. He is a controlling character and I would appreciate anty advice on this matter.
Fluffpuff · 30/05/2013 06:01
I agree, I have tried bringing the subject up but he's already saying to the older child I'm trying to stop him seeing her and the siblings. It's so hard but he's such a controlling character. I am going to get a breath test kit and ask him to use it before he drives the kids, if he doesn't do it I won't let him drive them.
corblimeymadam · 30/05/2013 06:57
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corblimeymadam · 30/05/2013 06:58
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Corkyandviolet · 30/05/2013 08:30
I suspect the reason he is controlling is because he knows he has a problem, and that his behaviour is wrong. I was in a relationship with a heavy drinker, it's bloody awful. You MUST stand your ground regarding your children. As belgianbun said, what's to stop him turning up sober and then hitting the booze once he's got them? Accusing you of stopping access, that sounds exactly the type of remark an alcoholic would make (what remarks did I used to receive? That I sleep around, that I don't care about my parents, that I'm a user......) You need to come to a different arrangement, one where he comes round and spends his time with them at your place, then goes home. Do you have a family member or someone nearby who could be there to back you up if need be? Try calling the Al Anon helpline on 0207 403 0888. I imagine they would be able to point you in the right direction as to how to go about this. Good luck.
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